How to Meet and Date a Girl in College

Finding love in between classes

Co-authored by Connell Barrett

Last Updated: December 6, 2024 References

Forget what you learned about dating in high school. College is a bigger, better ballgame, and thank goodness for that. There are plenty of opportunities to meet new people, but it can feel a bit tricky making a relationship work with a busy student schedule. That's why we've come through with some top tips for meeting a girl, making it official, and going the distance with the girl of your dreams, all while you get that degree.

How do you get a girlfriend in college?

Frequent popular social gathering places like campus jobs, clubs, or parties to meet a potential partner.
Be polite and attentive when talking to a girl for the first time, and ask for her number before you part ways.
Plan a casual and relaxed first date, and get to know her before sealing the deal.

Part 1

Part 1 of 3:

Meeting a Girl

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1
Pay attention in classes. If you're a college student yourself, you'll spend a good part of your day in classes too, so it only makes sense to look around and see if there are any interesting girls among your classmates. You're probably have the best luck in a class in your favorite subject because there's a chance that you'll share some common interests.^{[1]
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- If you're uncomfortable approaching girls, meeting in class can help take some of the nerves out of the experience because you'll have a conversation starter ready to go -- ask for help with an assignment or commiserate about the professor.
- Take advantage of group projects that might come up in classes. It's a good way to get to know a girl without the pressure of having to approach her.
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Get an on campus job. Working while you're a student isn't just a great way to ensure that you have some extra cash; it can be a great opportunity to meet new people. You may find a girl who you like among your co-workers or your customers if you're working somewhere like the bookstore or snack bar. Just as with meeting someone in class, getting to know someone on the job can take some of the pressure off because you'll already have something in common.^{[2]
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- If you're not a student yourself, it may be difficult to get a job on campus. Instead, try to find a position at a business near campus that's frequented by students, such as a coffee house or sandwich shop.
- You don't necessarily have to look for a paying job. Volunteer positions and internships can also offer opportunities to meet girls.
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Join a club. Relationships usually work best when you share interests with your partner, so it's a good idea to look for a girl who you have something in common with. Whether you get involved with the school newspaper, environmental club, or an intramural sport, you'll meet plenty of new people who are interested in the same thing you are -- and you can really get to know someone well when you're working toward a common goal.^{[3]
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- If you can't find a club on campus that suits your interests, consider starting your own organization.
It only makes sense that you'll meet plenty of college girls at spots where students congregate, so spend time at the dining hall, student union, and even the library. If there aren't popular hangouts on campus or you're not a student, try off-campus locales that students frequent, such as coffee shops, bars, clubs, and restaurants.^{[4]
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Go to parties. Meeting a girl when she's in a social mood may improve your chances of getting a date, so a party is usually a great opportunity to get to know someone. Frat parties, house parties, and even school dances can provide a fun setting to meet a girl.^{[5]
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- If you're not the partying type, it's best not to force yourself to go a party. You'll likely feel uncomfortable, and only wind up meeting someone who has different interests from yours.

Part 2

Part 2 of 3:

Establishing a Relationship

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1
Make a good first impression. It probably goes without saying because the goal is always to make your first meeting with a new person positive, but it's especially important with college girls, who probably have plenty of date options on campus. That's why you want to take care with your appearance and be polite and attentive when you first make contact.^{[6]
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- If you're talking to a girl at party, make sure you haven't had too much to drink. While liquid courage may make it easier to approach her, she probably isn't going to be impressed if you're slurring your words and having trouble staying on your feet.
2
Ask about her. To show that you have genuine interest in a girl, you should want to learn more about her. Asking open-ended questions, rather than simple yes-no inquiries, usually works best because it gives her a chance to really share her experiences, feelings, and opinions with you.^{[7]
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- Be more creative than simply asking her what her major is or which dorm she lives in. She probably hears those questions a lot. Instead, try to build off of what she says. For example, if she tells you that she loves traveling, ask her what her favorite trip was and why.
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Call or text her after the first meeting.^{[8]
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Expert Source

Connell Barrett
Dating Coach

Expert Interview. 24 September 2019.} If you want a girl to take your interest in her seriously, it helps to show that you're still thinking about her when you're not together. Phone calls or texts can help establish a rapport that makes her feel comfortable with you, so she's more willing to say yes when you ask for a date.
- If you're not sure what to stay in your phone call or text, ask a follow-up question to your last conversation, share an inside joke about the last time you saw her, or tell her that you saw something that reminded you of her.
- Don't just call or text late at night -- she might get the wrong idea.
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Ask her out. Once you feel like you've gotten to know her, there's nothing left to do but ask her out. You don't have to be formal, though. Ask her if she'd like to hang out sometime, and if she says yes, suggest a day and time.^{[9]
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Expert Source

Connell Barrett
Dating Coach

Expert Interview. 24 September 2019.}^{[10]
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- It's normal to be nervous before you ask a girl out. Give yourself a little pep talk before you do it, reminding yourself of all your positive qualities.
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Plan a relaxed first date. You don't have to take her out for a candlelit dinner right out of the gate. In fact, it's usually best to make your first outing a low pressure situation, such as grabbing a cup of coffee or having lunch at the student union. However, you should choose a venue that allows for quality conversation, so a movie or noisy bar probably isn't the best option. Once you've gone on a few casual dates, you can progress to more typical outings, such as dinner at a nice restaurant.
- When you're in college, you usually don't have too much money. That doesn't mean you can't take a girl on memorable dates. Some inexpensive date ideas include a school sporting event, a picnic in a local park, or a movie marathon at home.^{[11]
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- Reader Poll: We asked 534 wikiHow readers which type of location they’d prefer for a first date, and 52% of them said a coffee shop. [Take Poll]

Part 3

Part 3 of 3:

Making It Work

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1
Establish trust. It's a key component in any relationship, but when you're in college, there are so many opportunities to meet new people. Your girlfriend should know what she can trust you, and you should be able to trust her in return. Unfortunately, there are no shortcuts to building trust, so you need to put in the time. Being consistently considerate, supportive, loyal, and affectionate is the best way to get your girlfriend to trust you.^{[12]
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Expert Source

Connell Barrett
Dating Coach

Expert Interview. 24 September 2019.}
- It will be easier to trust one another if you establish a commitment from the start. Make sure you both know exactly what you expect from one another.
2
Manage your time. Between classes, work, extracurricular activities, and friends, college students have a lot of demands on their schedule, but in order for your relationship to thrive, you have to make an effort to see your girlfriend on a regular basis. Even committing to seeing each other only two or three times a week can make a big difference into making your relationship work.
- If you're very busy, get creative about finding time to spend with your girlfriend. For example, if you're both swamped with midterms, study together. You can take turns quizzing each other or meet up to have a late night snack.
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Give her space sometimes. While it's natural to want to spend all your time with someone that you care about, healthy relationships allow for both parties to grow as people. Allow her to cultivate interests that are separate from yours, while you do the same.^{[13]
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- While she's doing her own thing, it's still important to be supportive. For example, if she takes up a new hobby that you don't participate in, such as the intramural volleyball team, show up for games and events to cheer her on.
College is a transitional period for many people, and that can make it difficult to keep a relationship going. If you're serious about your girlfriend, you should have an honest conversation with her about what's going to happen down the road and where you both expect the relationship to go. For example, if she's planning to go to graduate school in New York after college and you're moving to Seattle for medical school, you may decide that you don't want to get too invested.

Get More Dates with this Expert Series for Men

Dating is hard. We’ve put together this series of expert articles to help you get more dates, go on better dates, and ultimately find your person.

1

Look Attractive (Guys)

2

Flirt with a Girl over Text

3

Ask a Girl Out

4

Impress a Girl on a Date

5

Ask a Girl for a Kiss

6

How Often Should You Text Someone You Just Started Dating?

Expert Q&A

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Question

How can I impress a college girl?

Connell Barrett
Dating Coach
Connell Barrett is a Relationship Expert and the Founder and Executive Coach of Dating Transformation in New York City. Connell has over five years of experience as an international coach who helps men connect with women by unlocking their best, true, most confident selves. He is the author of the Amazon bestseller “Dating Sucks but You Don’t,” and has appeared on Good Morning America, the "Today" show, Access Hollywood, and in Best Life, Cosmopolitan, and The Oprah Magazine. In 2019 he was named Datezie.com's “New York City’s Best Male Dating Coach."

Connell Barrett

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

Don't say anything too suggestive when you first meet a girl since it may make them uncomfortable.

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Question

How do I start dating a girl when I'm in college?

Connell Barrett
Dating Coach
Connell Barrett is a Relationship Expert and the Founder and Executive Coach of Dating Transformation in New York City. Connell has over five years of experience as an international coach who helps men connect with women by unlocking their best, true, most confident selves. He is the author of the Amazon bestseller “Dating Sucks but You Don’t,” and has appeared on Good Morning America, the "Today" show, Access Hollywood, and in Best Life, Cosmopolitan, and The Oprah Magazine. In 2019 he was named Datezie.com's “New York City’s Best Male Dating Coach."

Connell Barrett

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

When you go up and talk to them for the first time, say something fun and light-hearted to get the conversation started. Then try complimenting them to see how they respond. If they seem interested, try asking them out on a date.

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Tips

When you're approaching a girl, confidence is key. If you feel good about yourself, she'll be able to tell.

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Don't pretend to be someone you're not just to get a girl to like you. You aren't going to be happy if you aren't able to be yourself.

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Don't be afraid to take a chance and ask a girl out. She might say no, which can definitely hurt, but you'll regret missing out on possible happiness if you're too scared to take a risk.

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Warnings

Don't commit too fast. If you're not sure about a girl, it's not fair to let her think that you're more serious than you are.

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While the dorm may seem like a great place to meet girls, it's best not to date someone where you live. Think of the awkwardness of having to see her every day if you break up.

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