How to Deal With Being Disappointed by Your Crush

Co-authored by Lena Dicken, Psy.D

Last Updated: March 8, 2023

Sometimes being disappointed by your crush can take weeks to fully get over. It can frustrate you so much since you created this amazing picture in your mind of how wonderful you thought this person really was until you discover that they are completely different. Everybody experiences this feeling of being completely betrayed by one's self and by that person. It is even more irritating realizing that you actually never even had a relationship with this person, but yet feels like you have since you're feeling so upset about it. However, don't give up hope because there are very helpful tips and steps to helping you deal.

Steps

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Even if it really seems like it, this is not their fault. Also, if you don't know - or barely know - the person you run the risk of freaking them out, and it's possible you could also feel extremely embarrassed/ashamed of yourself for losing control afterwards. You don't want to make things any harder on yourself by letting - what is already a tough situation - lead to further negative emotions and problems. Instead, wait until you can be by yourself to let out your emotions.
But don't take it out on yourself even if it is very tempting to do so. Spend as much time as you need releasing your feelings. Eventually you will feel better, even if this takes some time.

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Especially not if you don't like who the crush really is as a person; This does not include how you thought that this person was.
Consider the positives of the situation. Think about exactly what it was about your crush that disappointed you, and how this would have affected you if you'd gone on to have a relationship with them. It's likely that if anything about them especially put you off them romantically - then the thing/things would have made you highly unsatisfied or unhappy in some way. If this is the case, count this experience as being a lucky escape - and remember that there are other fish in the sea. Just because you happened to have a strong crush on one person, does not mean that this will never happen to you again with someone else. It's even possible that the next time the crush will turn out not to be the disappointment this one has.
Avoiding is really tempting and we all do it, but in the long run, it really makes most situations worse. It'll also make it harder to get what has happened out of your mind. If you are in any kind of regular contact with them, just try your best to treat them as you would any other casual acquaintance or friend. Not only does it make things less awkward for them, but it'll make getting back to normal much easier for you.
Unless of course there is a very good reason for this (i.e. they treated you badly in some way). Even if you feel turned off by them romantically, that does not mean that you can't try this - if in general you get along with them reasonably well or feel there's a good chance you might. You might gain a really great friendship out of this experience.
Know that the most important thing to remember is continue to love yourself. Regardless of how disappointed this person made you feel, remember that caring for yourself and your needs is far more important than dwelling on this other person.

Get Over Your Crush with this Expert Series

Crushing over someone you can't have is both draining and distracting. Learn how to move past these feelings and take back control of your life with this expert series.

1

Stop Being in Love With a Person You'll Never Meet

2

Effective Ways to Get Over Someone You Love

3

How to Get Over Someone You Can't Have or Never Dated

4

Stop Loving the Girl of Your Dreams

5

Stop Liking Someone

6

Overcome an Infatuation

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Tips

If you really want to give this person a second chance you can, but remember that this person might not be right for you and be a really bad influence.

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In the future try to learn from this experience and try not to just judge a person by how good-looking they are. Looks are deceiving.

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Remember that a "crush" does not need to be as serious as an official romantic relationship.

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Warnings

You think that this person might be a very bad influence? Then don't try to let them influence you in a negative way!

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