This article was co-authored by Leah Morris. Leah Morris is a Life and Relationship Transition coach and the owner of Life Remade, a holistic personal coaching service. With over three years as a professional coach, she specializes in guiding people as they move through both short-term and long-term life transitions. Leah holds a BA in Organizational Communication from California State University, Chico and is a certified Transformational Life Coach through the Southwest Institute for Healing Arts.
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Do you ever feel like life is so hectic that you forget to live in the present moment? Our helpful how-to guide has mindfulness tips that will help you stop focusing on the past or future so you can fully enjoy yourself and your surroundings.[1]
Steps
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Be present in the moment.[2] Think about how much time you've wasted through the years by dwelling on things you can't change from the past, or worrying about things you can't predict or alter in the future. It can cause you a lot of stress and anxiety when you get lost in that way of thinking, especially when you recognize how powerless you are to alter the past or future. The only thing you can change is this present moment right now, and it starts with being mindful of where you are, what you're doing, and what is happening around you.
- Observe what is happening around you without judgment.
- Simply notice your environment and any events unfolding around you.
- Try to describe (in your head, or out loud) your surroundings or any events happening in your immediate environment. Focus on concrete, observable sensory information.[3]
- Notice how you fit in with your environment. As you breathe in the air around you, walk across the ground, or sit quietly, recognize without judgment that you are temporarily a part of this place.[4]
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Eliminate distractions. There are many things that might distract you from enjoying a moment. In addition to the countless thoughts running through your head, you might easily become distracted by your electronic device(s). Incoming text messages, phone calls, emails, and social media updates can all distract you from whatever you're trying to do. Whether you want to spend quality time with others, or simply sit alone in a calm environment, your cellphone (or your friends' phones) can quickly ruin the moment.
- Personal devices like cellphones and tablets can distract you from a moment, whether it's a moment spent alone or with others.
- Try scheduling your device usage, making time for device-free activities, or simply turning your phone off when you're trying to enjoy a moment alone or with others.
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Focus on your breathing. You take countless breaths every day without even thinking about it, but actively concentrating on your breathing can help you live more consciously and mindfully. Focusing on your breath has been shown to help calm an anxious mind and return your attention to the present moment, which is a vital part of living mindfully.[5]
- Concentrate on the sensation of air flowing in through your nostrils and back out.
- Notice the way your breath feels on your nostrils, in your chest, and all the way down to your diaphragm (below your ribcage).
- Feel your belly rise and fall with each slow, deep breath.
- Any time your attention starts to drift to other thoughts, simply return your focus to the sensation and experience of breathing mindfully.[6]
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Ignore fleeting thoughts. It's easy to feel as though your thoughts are in control, especially during a crisis or moments of anxiety. But it's important to remember during these moments that you have the power to decide whether or not to engage with a given thought. With practice and mindfulness, you can eventually observe your thoughts and choose whether to dwell in those thoughts or let them pass you by.[7]
- An important component of mindfulness is accepting your thoughts as they are, without judging them, holding onto them, or resisting them.
- Remember that your thoughts are immaterial. They only gain meaning when you give them meaning.
- Do not try to push unpleasant thoughts away, as this may only make your mind dwell on the discomfort of that thought. Similarly, do not try to grasp at pleasant thoughts.
- Imagine each thought that drifts into your mind like clouds floating across the sky.
- If you do not like a particular thought, simply wait without engaging it and it will slowly pass by and drift away.
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Let go of the past. It can be very easy to get lost in memories. There's nothing wrong with enjoying your past success or learning from your past mistakes - in fact, you actually should do those things. But dwelling on things that are no longer around or relevant, or obsessing about things you can't do anything about (like wishing you'd said/done something differently) will only cause you stress and anxiety.[8]
- It's important to recognize that there is nothing you can do in the present moment that can alter the past.
- Once you accept that you cannot change the past, you begin to take away its power over you.
- Think to yourself, "I cannot change the past, so what good will it do to worry about it?"
- Even though you cannot do anything to alter the past, you do have the option of controlling the present. By living mindfully, you determine how to live in this very moment.
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Avoid thinking about the future. You might be thinking about the future in anticipation (like waiting for the weekend) or in dread (like contemplating how bad Monday will be when your weekend is over). It's good to be motivated by your ambitions for the future, but dwelling on the future in any way makes you lose track of the present. It can make fun times go by more quickly, or it can fill you with a sense of dread as you anticipate things that you can't control in this moment.[9]
- When you think about the future, you forfeit your ability to fully be present in this very moment.
- Avoid looking at your watch, checking your cellphone, or anticipating anything that isn't relevant to what you're doing right now.
- Instead of getting caught up in what might/will happen, practice mindfulness and work to be present in this very moment.
- In this very moment you can decide how to act, what to say, which thoughts to engage with, and what mindset you will hold on to. These choices will affect your future, so it's important to make the most of what you can do in the here and now.
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Practice acceptance. You may be tempted to force some type of evaluation on the present moment. Perhaps you're thinking about how much better this moment is than a moment last week, or you might be thinking this moment would be made better if some other factor were different. However, these types of evaluations can hamper your ability to mindfully enjoy the present moment as it is. Instead, work to accept every moment, and let thoughts or emotions exist without imposing values or judgments.[10]
- Resist the urge to judge. Any kind of value statement/thought can be a judgment, even considering something "cool" or "fun" or "beautiful".
- Judgments extend beyond people and places. You may be judging the situation you're in, the weather you're exposed to, or even the thoughts running through your head.
- Mindfulness requires you to work at accepting things as they are without imposing value or judgment on them. This takes work, but once you are able to accept things in the present moment you will feel much more at peace.
- Any time you find yourself judging someone or something, try to catch yourself and stop yourself in mid-thought. Think to yourself, "I will let this pass without judgment," and try to let go of that thought.
- Try to recognize that enjoying this moment as it is, without judgment or desire, will make it that much more meaningful to you. That meaning will stay with you as a strong, positive memory of the present moment.
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Meditate. The basic goal of most meditations is to focus on the present moment without distraction or disturbance.[11] This may sound easy in theory, but it can take a lot of work to cultivate a mindful meditation practice. However, any effort you put into meditating will reward you with a sense of calmness and an enhanced perspective of the present.
- Choose whether to meditate while sitting comfortably or while walking slowly through a peaceful environment.
- Focus on your breath. Take deep breaths down into your diaphragm, feeling your belly rise and fall with each breath.
- Scan your body and notice any physical sensations you're experiencing. You might feel the air moving through your nostrils, the sensation of the floor underneath you, a sense of calm, or even a sense of fear/anxiety.
- Do not judge the sensations you notice, and do not try to hold on to them. Simply acknowledge their existence and let go of them.
- Any time a thought enters your head, do not force it away or cling to it. Much like the sensations you noticed, you should acknowledge that thought's existence and simply let it go.
- Any time you lose focus or become distracted, return to your breathing and focus on the sensation of each breath.
EXPERT TIPMarriage & Family TherapistMoshe Ratson is the Executive Director of spiral2grow Marriage & Family Therapy, a coaching and therapy clinic in New York City. Moshe is an International Coach Federation accredited Professional Certified Coach (PCC). He received his MS in Marriage and Family Therapy from Iona College. Moshe is a clinical member of the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT), and a member of the International Coach Federation (ICF).Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC
Marriage & Family TherapistAs you practice mindfulness, focus on being present. By quieting your mind and appreciating the present moment, you can reduce stress and encourage a more positive way of thinking. That makes it a lot easier to enjoy the moment!
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Focus on your senses.[12] Your brain has a seemingly endless river of thoughts rushing through it at any given moment. These thoughts help you most of the time, but they can be distracting or even damaging. The best way to quiet your mind is to focus on what's observable. Take note of concrete, tangible sensory information, and force your mind to dwell on the sights, sounds, smells, tastes, and physical sensations of your environment.[13]
- Look around you and notice the intricate arrangement of the world around you.
- Let yourself listen to the sounds of your environment. If you are in a noisy area, like a crowded coffee shop, try to listen to the steady hum of all the voices together instead of trying to single out individual sounds.
- Feel the chair/couch/floor under your bottom, and take note of the ways your legs and rear end feel against that surface. Notice the way your feet touch the floor, the way your hands rest on your lap or on the arm rests at your sides.
- Don't force yourself to appreciate the things around you. If you are fully present, you will become aware of everything in your immediate environment.
- As you observe your surroundings with your senses, resist the urge to evaluate them. Think of them as simply "being," rather than as being good or bad.
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Try to appreciate the little things. You may be tempted to think of your life as a series of big events, and those events are important. But don't forget that your life is also composed of countless little moments, which are available to you every day. One of the easiest ways to enjoy a moment is to mindfully engage with that moment and appreciate it for what it is. You can do this in countless little ways each day to bring greater meaning and peace to every moment.[14]
- Slow down each day to appreciate the way things look, sound, taste, smell, and feel.
- When you shower, notice the sensation of rubbing shampoo into your hair or soap on your body.
- Every time you eat, slow down and notice your food: the way it looks, smells, tastes. Chew slowly and think about how much water, sunlight, and farm work went into creating that meal.
- Engage with each moment fully, and eventually you will learn to enjoy and appreciate every aspect of every moment.
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Learn to see other perspectives. If you're upset about something that a friend, relative, or colleague said/did, that frustration can quickly ruin an otherwise enjoyable moment. It's easy to feel angry with others when you view that person's actions from your own point of view, but it's worth considering that his/her choice made sense to that individual.
- When you feel yourself becoming upset with another person, take a moment to step back.
- Force yourself to think of three positive reasons that someone might have said/done the thing that upset you. Focus on positive reasons - don't say things like, "He did it to upset me," or "He doesn't know what he's doing."
- As you come up with positive reasons, work to see the situation from that individual's perspective. He or she probably had a rational reason for the behavior at hand, which you might be blind to because you're locked in your own perspective.
- Learning to see things from other people's perspectives can help you see situations more objectively, making you more calm and in the moment. It can also help you become a more understanding, empathetic individual.[15]
Expert Q&A
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QuestionHow can I relax and enjoy the moment?Leah MorrisLeah Morris is a Life and Relationship Transition coach and the owner of Life Remade, a holistic personal coaching service. With over three years as a professional coach, she specializes in guiding people as they move through both short-term and long-term life transitions. Leah holds a BA in Organizational Communication from California State University, Chico and is a certified Transformational Life Coach through the Southwest Institute for Healing Arts.
Life CoachBeing mindful can help you relax and feel more present. I suggest paying attention to what you're seeing, hearing, tasting, smelling, and feeling in your current environment. You might also name what you're feeling to help yourself become more mindful.
Reader Videos
Tips
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Try to always be in the present moment, acutely sensitive and aware of your thoughts, feelings, words, and actions.Thanks
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Do not resist seemingly random thoughts/feelings that come wandering into your mind, but do not grasp at them either. Simply acknowledge them and let them pass without judgment.Thanks
Warnings
- Mindfulness is NOT about drifting into your own world and being oblivious to what's around you. This can be damaging and potentially unsafe, depending on your environment. Mindfulness involves engaging fully with the present moment and being aware of yourself and your surroundings.Thanks
References
- ↑ Leah Morris. Life Coach. Expert Interview. 21 August 2020.
- ↑ Leah Morris. Life Coach. Expert Interview. 21 August 2020.
- ↑ Leah Morris. Life Coach. Expert Interview. 21 August 2020.
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200811/the-art-now-six-steps-living-in-the-moment
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200811/the-art-now-six-steps-living-in-the-moment
- ↑ http://www.mayoclinic.org/tests-procedures/meditation/in-depth/meditation/art-20045858?pg=2
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200811/the-art-now-six-steps-living-in-the-moment
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201201/5-ways-find-happiness-living-in-the-moment
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201201/5-ways-find-happiness-living-in-the-moment
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200811/the-art-now-six-steps-living-in-the-moment
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/brainstorm/200812/back-the-present-how-live-in-the-moment
- ↑ Leah Morris. Life Coach. Expert Interview. 21 August 2020.
- ↑ Leah Morris. Life Coach. Expert Interview. 21 August 2020.
- ↑ http://www.wildmind.org/applied/daily-life/daily-activities
- ↑ http://www.forbes.com/sites/kathycaprino/2014/02/12/5-mindfulness-steps-that-guarantee-increased-success-and-vitality/2/#6379f8ff2aca
About This Article
To enjoy the moment, focus your attention on your surrounding environment, like any sounds you hear or the way your feet feel on the ground. You can also focus on your breathing, feeling your stomach rise and fall with each breath, to help you feel more present. If you notice yourself stressing out about the future or worrying about the past, let go of those thoughts without judgment and redirect your attention to what's in front of you. Also, try to eliminate potential distractions by putting away electronic devices so you're not interrupted. To learn how to be more mindful in your day-to-day life, scroll down!
Reader Success Stories
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"Yes, mindfulness is important. In fact, it's relevant to life's quality and happiness. "