How to Get a Boy at Church to Like You

Co-authored by Eddy Baller

Last Updated: April 23, 2023 Approved

When you’re interested in a boy at church, you may have to use different techniques than you use with other boys. The values and ways you interact at church are different. Practice a few simple actions to get him to notice you first. Then start spending a little more time talking and hanging out together. Once you are friends, get to know each other more deeply and see if he starts to like you.

Part 1

Part 1 of 3:

Being Noticed by Him

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Smile and be friendly.^{[1]
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Expert Source

Eddy Baller
Dating Coach

Expert Interview. 7 February 2020.} The first step in getting him to like you is getting him to notice you. Guys are attracted to girls who smile and are easy to approach.You don't have to have a big smile on your face at all times, but give him a nice smile whenever you see him.^{[2]
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- Before you get to the point of saying hi or talking, wave at him across the room or give him a nod that says hello.
- If he initiates more interaction, follow his lead. So if he says hi first, say it back to him.
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Say hello or goodbye when you see him. Once you've established the friendly smile and wave connection, move on to actually talking to him. Greet him each week at church and at extra times that you see him during the week. A simple hello and goodbye helps build a connection between you and him.
- Smiling, say, “Hey Ellis, it’s good to see you again!” When you both leave church, say, “Work hard at school this week!”
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Wear modest but attractive clothing. Wear clothes that cover your chest, stomach, and legs, because church is not the place for revealing clothing. Show him that you know how to dress well without showing off your body. He’ll notice you have good style, but he’ll also notice that modesty is important to you.^{[3]
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- When it comes to skirts and dresses, aim for ones that go below the knees. Don’t wear ones that are slit up the thigh.
- Wear shirts that cover your cleavage and are not too tight or see through.
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Do something visible at church. If you're feeling confident, sing a solo during the offering or if your church has a choir, join it. Use your talents to your advantage and make sure you create a positive image of yourself. Give a talk during the service or perform a skit of some kind.
- This gives him the chance to see you in front of other people, not just around the church.
- He’ll think you’re brave and see that you’re talented at what you do.

Part 2

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Becoming Friends with Him

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Talk to him about the Bible and your faith at church. Since you are already at church, use that as a topic of conversation. Start simple by asking what he has read in the Bible. Tell him about some parts you know well. Ask him about what his church experience has been like so far.
- If the boy is serious about church and his faith, he’ll find it attractive that you read the Bible and take it seriously, too.
- If both of you have been in church for a long time, or even a short time, use that as a point of conversation. You’ll each be able to tell your story about going to church.
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Hang out with him whenever you are at church events. Find him before the sermon or Sunday school class starts, and sit by him. Whenever there are weekend parties, Bible studies, or trips, seek him out and spend time with him. Make the most of the fact that you are already part of a group with him.
- Ask him if is attending upcoming events where you could hang out more. Say, “We have that water balloon fight this Friday. Are you going to it?” Follow up by talking to him there.
- If you see a seat open by him, go up and say, “Do you mind if I sit here? I need someone to help me pay closer attention.”
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Invite him to join you at a get together or group date. It’s important to find a place to interact with him outside of church, but a one-on-one date may not be the best place to start. Get a group of friends together for a bonfire or game night and invite the boy you like to join you.^{[4]
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- He will see you interact with other people, which is important. This also takes the pressure off of both of you because there are other people for you to hang out with.
- Tell him to bring one or two of his friends, and invite a couple of your friends, too. This way you will both have some people you know, and you’ll meet each other’s friends.
- Say, “Jimi, a few of us are going to J. Gumbo’s to grab some lunch after church. Do you want to bring a couple of friends and join us?”

Part 3

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Getting Him to Like You

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Be a godly woman. Be kind to everyone around you to show him you are living like Jesus. Stay away from sin, especially sexual sin, because this shows him you know what is right and wrong. Continue to work on living more like Jesus.^{[5]
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- He may not see how godly you are the first time you ever talk to him. It will take time, and you have to consistently live in this way for him to see you.
- Talk to him about the things that make it hard for you to live like Jesus. Being honest about your struggles brings the two of you closer together.
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Be true to who you know you are. Being yourself and staying true to your personality is what's going to make him attracted to you. Don’t try to change yourself or be what you think he wants. It wears you out, and he’ll realize it was all fake. Make him like who you really are, not a made up version of yourself.
- If you really like hip-hop music, tell him that. He may like it too, but you’ll never know if you hide it.
- Don’t hide parts of yourself that are important to you, because those may turn out to be what he likes the most about you.
- Tell him, “I love to garden because it gives me the feeling of providing food for myself, rather than always buying it at the store.”
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Tell him that you like him. Boys don’t always pick up on all of the subtle work you’re doing to get him to like you. After you have spent time together and have talked a lot, tell him how you feel about him! He may like you already and be too afraid to say anything. Telling him you like him gives him the chance to like you back.
- This may end up making things awkward if he doesn’t have those feelings for you. Either way, it is better to get things out in the open than keep it a secret.
- Say, “Jesse, it’s been fun getting to know you recently. I think you are a really great guy and I have strong feelings for you. How do you feel about me?”

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How can I get a boy to like me?

Eddy Baller
Dating Coach
Eddy Baller is a Dating Coach and the Owner of a dating consulting and coaching service, Conquer and Win, based in Vancouver, Canada. Coaching since 2011, Eddy specializes in confidence building, advanced social skills, and relationships. Conquer and Win helps men worldwide have the love lives they deserve. His work has been featured in The Art of Manliness, LifeHack, and POF among others.

Eddy Baller

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

Make sure you're acting confident and smile when you see him so he knows that you're interested.

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What if we are not allowed to date but you like him a lot?

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Just be friends! You'll be able to spend a lot of time together, and you may stay close for a long time. If you're allowed to date later, you'll have so much history together.

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What if he trys to kiss me?

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If you are comfortable with it, go ahead and kiss him. If not, it's okay to tell him you don't want to do that.

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