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Going out on dates is a great way to meet potential partners and see if you two are a match. Getting a date, however, can be a nerve wracking experience—but it doesn’t have to be! Use these tips and tricks to approach people online or in-person and (hopefully!) get someone to agree to a date.

3

Strike up a conversation with a stranger.

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  1. Try looking for something around you that you could talk about, like books in a book store or produce in a supermarket. It doesn’t have to be groundbreaking; just something that you two can talk about for a few minutes.[3]
    • For example, if you are in a supermarket, you might say, “Those new bakery cookies look good. Have you tried them yet?”
    • Or, if you’re in a bookstore, you can ask, “Have you read that book yet? The reviews say it’s great!”
    • Stay away from pickup lines, as they can be a little off putting.
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5

Try a little small talk to keep things light.

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  1. Listen and pay attention to what your potential date is saying, and start the conversation off slowly. Look for details that you can use to keep the conversation going.[5]
    • For example, if they say they haven’t tried something because they’re vegan, ask them how long they’ve been avoiding meat.
    • Or, if they’re interested in the same book as you, talk about other books the author has written or novels that you’ve liked in the past.
    • Reader Poll: We asked 481 wikiHow readers who've successfully started a conversation with someone they’re interested in, and 52% of them agreed that it's best to open with a compliment or by commenting on a shared interest. [Take Poll]
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7

Be honest about your feelings for the easiest approach.

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8

Make the date their idea to keep things casual.

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9

Create a challenge to keep things lighthearted.

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Join the Discussion...

WikiMountainCat42
69
I keep seeing this beautiful girl at a cafe I study at, and I really want to talk to her. But I feel so awkward. What do I do? How do I get her t... Read More
John Keegan
8
John Keegan
Dating Coach
Great question. The first thing to do is to always go back to step one, which is your own mindset and way of being. For you to approach her in th... Read More
WikiMongooseChaser121
5
Fully agree on the eye contact thing. Makes it so much easier to break the ice and then you’re already halfway to starting a conversation. If s... Read More

Expert Q&A

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  • Question
    Can I get a girlfriend online?
    Cher Gopman
    Cher Gopman
    Dating Coach
    Cher Gopman is the Founder of NYC Wingwoman LLC, a date coaching service based in New York City. 'NYC Wingwoman' offers matchmaking, wingwoman services, 1-on-1 Coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. Cher is a Certified Life Coach, a former psychiatric nurse, and her work has been featured on Inside Edition, Fox, ABC, VH1, and The New York Post.
    Cher Gopman
    Dating Coach
    Expert Answer
    Yes! If you're asking someone out you met online, try to have at least 5 back-and-forth exchanges before you ask them out on a date.
  • Question
    How do you politely ask for a date?
    Cher Gopman
    Cher Gopman
    Dating Coach
    Cher Gopman is the Founder of NYC Wingwoman LLC, a date coaching service based in New York City. 'NYC Wingwoman' offers matchmaking, wingwoman services, 1-on-1 Coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. Cher is a Certified Life Coach, a former psychiatric nurse, and her work has been featured on Inside Edition, Fox, ABC, VH1, and The New York Post.
    Cher Gopman
    Dating Coach
    Expert Answer
    Try to suggest a date that's related to your common interests. For example, if you find out you both enjoy hiking, you could say something like, "I'm actually going on a hike this Sunday. Do you want to go with me?”
  • Question
    What if the other person likes pick-up lines?
    Hannah Madden
    Hannah Madden
    Community Answer
    If you know they'll like a goofy pickup line, go for it! They work well on close friends and people who have a good sense of humor.
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  1. https://www.businessinsider.com/how-to-date-without-dating-apps-2018-10
  2. Cher Gopman. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 17 May 2019.

About This Article

Cher Gopman
Co-authored by:
Dating Coach
This article was co-authored by Cher Gopman and by wikiHow staff writer, Hannah Madden. Cher Gopman is the Founder of NYC Wingwoman LLC, a date coaching service based in New York City. 'NYC Wingwoman' offers matchmaking, wingwoman services, 1-on-1 Coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. Cher is a Certified Life Coach, a former psychiatric nurse, and her work has been featured on Inside Edition, Fox, ABC, VH1, and The New York Post. This article has been viewed 912,006 times.
60 votes - 82%
Co-authors: 187
Updated: June 24, 2024
Views: 912,006
Categories: Getting a Date
Article SummaryX

To get a date, strike up a conversation with someone you're interested in by making small talk or asking for a favor. Remember to stand up straight, make eye contact, and smile while you're talking to them so you appear confident and likable. If the conversation is going well, casually ask them on a date by saying something like "Do you have any plans for Saturday night?" Try to suggest something specific to do that you think the other person will enjoy so they're more likely to say yes. If you want to learn more, such as how to make a great first impression, keep reading the article!

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Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 912,006 times.

Reader Success Stories

  • Gale Wilson

    Gale Wilson

    Mar 9, 2018

    "I tried most of these tips and now two of my friends and I are now going out. I think that asking directly really..." more
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