How to Hang Out with Guys (for Girls)

Co-authored by Laura Bilotta

Last Updated: September 24, 2024

Sometimes you will be in a situation where there are guys and girls hanging out together (whether it be a party, at the club, or any informal social situation) and you want to stand out among the other girls. You could be going on a group date for the first time with the guy(s) you want to test your feelings for. You could be at a party and you want to impress a particular guy you've known for some time. How can you impress that particular guy or guys without going too fast or seeming desperate to start a relationship? How can you hang out with guys casually while keeping the potential for a future relationship? Please read on!

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Think ahead of time of the personality types of each guy that will be present at this social gathering. Determine whether they are extroverted, introverted, sporty, book-smart, etc. For example, this will help you avoid talking too much to a guy that is not talkative, which can lead them to be turned off from future outings with you. And you definitely want to make a positive impression on all of them, even if you are interested in just one or two, because the guy you don't care about could turn out to be the best friend of the actual guy you are interested in. Definitely keep all the guys on your good side!
- Wear clothes that fit and make you feel comfortable.^{[1]
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- Set your intention before the date. Think whether you are trying to get to know someone new or just looking for an enjoyable night out.
- Have a positive attitude and be mindful of rejection. Not everyone is going to like you, and that is okay. It should not stop you from being positive and going into the date with a good mindset.^{[2]
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They will see that you are making an effort to bond in their platonic relationship style, which gives you the upper hand. They will regard you as a platonic friend, so they will want to hang out with you another time. This will give you more opportunities to develop chemistry and attraction between you and them. Just remember to NOT ATTEMPT to go in between the guy bonds. Guys cherish their friendships, and you should too, so always allow them to do what they need to do.

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Guys can get very bored very quickly with a girl that has limited interests or conversation. Show off your knowledge and fun-loving nature to them by talking, teasing, playing a game, etc. But this doesn't mean to talk incessantly (as a lot of us are apt to do). Let them talk about themselves. Ensure them that you are listening by providing comments that are thought-provoking and fresh, which will leave them thinking longer about what you said. The longer they think about what you said, the more they think and wonder about you and their attraction to you. Guys love to solve mysteries!
If you are trying to keep your options open with the guys, or even if you have picked the guy you like, don't favor only one. Socialize with everyone, in similar proportions. Guys love social girls and this will also create a slight competition between the guys. Guys love chasing and proving themselves to a girl, it gives them a goal in socializing. If you are going to zero in on the potential guy, do it later on in the outing, but keep it aloof! You don't want to give away your pick too quick, or you will risk looking like you were just shopping for a mate!
Another version of this is, "play hard-to-get" but I avoid saying this because this is often misinterpreted. Guys do not want a girl that is so extroverted that she is open about anything, including her sexuality. Sure, they might want to fantasize about naughty nights with them, but this will lower the chance of a long-term attachment. Determine outfits that showcase your best features without showing too much. But besides appearances, don't reveal your thoughts and intentions too easily. If they ask you about who you are, don't always give them a straight up answer. Evade a little bit. Let them guess about you. Be an enigma.

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What should a guy and girl do when they hang out for the first time?

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Go someplace casual but fun. Do an activity that will help guide the conversation, like playing mini golf or going for a hike.

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Should I just change my personality instead of trying to get a guy to like me for who I am?

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Don't change yourself for him at all! It's no use changing your entire personality just for a guy. Just be yourself around him and if he doesn't like you, then good riddance! I'm sure you're amazing, and anyone who doesn't like you for you is insane!

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What if he doesn't know what to do or say?

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Try to get him talking. Just ask him how his day is going, what his plans are for the evening, what he did the night before, etc. Ask him about his interests, like favorite sports, books, movies, etc. If you ask him questions and get him talking a little bit, it will break the ice and he will feel more at ease.

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Tips

No matter what, be confident in yourself. This trumps anything else. Guys can see a fake from a mile away, and they will not respect you for that.

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Never talk about your dieting, or your concerns about your weight unless he seems to be working in that area.

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When talking to them don't avoid eye contact. Look at him in the eye at times to show that you do not feel awkward.

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Warnings

Some guys will take advantage of you, so be very careful not to be too interested or open in your approach. You don't want to be seen as the community sex toy.

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If a guy just seems completely uninterested or nonchalant in your presence, don't take it too seriously. There are a huge numbers of reasons for this: he could be trying too hard to act like he is uninterested when he really isn't, he could be very shy, etc. Just be patient!

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There are a few things that you can't change, so you might want to look for another fish in the sea. He could be interested in another girl, he could be gay, or he could have just ended a serious relationship.

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