12 Positive Traits that Define a High-Value Man

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The ultimate guide to the characteristics of a high-value man

Co-authored by Jeffrey Fermin and Devin McSween

Last Updated: July 29, 2024 Fact Checked

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Definition

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Traits

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Being a High-Value Man

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Expert Interview

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While scrolling online, you’ve probably seen the term “high-value man” in buzz-worthy articles or viral videos. If you’re not really sure what a high-value man is or what he’s like, we’ve got you covered. We’ll tell you how online culture defines a high-value man, what his traits and behavior are like, and how to become a high-value man yourself. If you’re ready to learn more about this kind of guy, read on!

Things You Should Know

Online culture defines a high-value man as a respected, successful, likable, confident, and attractive man.
A high-value man has a clear purpose in life and achieves his goals to get there. He is always learning to better himself emotionally, mentally, and physically.
A high-value man is committed, emotionally intelligent, responsible, and surrounds himself with other high-value people.

Section 1 of 3:

What is a high-value man?

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According to online culture, a high-value man is respected and successful. Online sites typically call a high-value man the full package or describe him as the type of guy people want to be or be around. He’s confident, assertive, secure, likable, caring, and intelligent. All of these qualities make him attractive and valuable to potential romantic partners, friends, and society.^{[1]
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- While a high-value man might sound like an alpha male, pop culture sites claim that he’s not the same thing. While alpha males can be aggressive and insecure, a high-value man builds others up, seeks committed relationships, and is self-assured.

Section 2 of 3:

Traits of a High-Value Man

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A high-value man has a purpose. One of the most noteworthy traits of a high-value man is that he has clear goals and achieves them. According to pop culture sites, he’s not the kind of guy who sits around and waits for things to happen to him. A high-value man is intentional about his time and energy because he knows wasting them won’t get him anywhere, whether that’s climbing the ladder at work or seeking a partner and family.^{[2]
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- Importantly, a high-value man isn’t single-minded towards his goal. He balances his work with meaningful relationships, hobbies, and relaxation.
- A high-value man’s purpose and motivation also come from within himself. He’s confident in what he wants and leads instead of follows.
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He builds success for himself and others. A high-value man isn’t a lone wolf whose only goal is to help himself. As he works his way to the top to support himself and his family, he brings others up with him. He’ll stay late after work to help a coworker, donate his time or money to a community organization, and praise and encourage his partner, family, and friends.^{[3]
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American Psychological Association
Leading scientific and professional organization of licensed psychologists

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- Every high-value man has a different definition of success. Some might want to be the head of a company while others just want a simple job that lets them travel. Other high-value men see success as raising a family, being a respected community member, or living each day to the fullest.
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He is always growing. A high-value man is always seeking to be a better person emotionally, intellectually, spiritually, and financially. He’s not seeking perfection, but he knows that he can grow, learn, and change every day. You’ll catch this guy watching documentaries about his favorite subject, reading self-help books, or taking classes and certifications to reach new heights in his career.^{[4]
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- This type of guy is also just a naturally curious and well-informed person. He loves asking questions about things he doesn’t know and stays up to date on world affairs.
- He is also very open to feedback and criticism. While it can be tough for anybody to hear, he takes it in stride and learns from it.
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A high-value man is emotionally and physically strong. When someone says a high-value man is tough, they mean it in more ways than one. This is the kind of guy who’s resilient under pressure and tackles his problems head-on. He’s likely athletic and physically capable too, whether he’s lifting weights in the gym, jogging, or practicing taekwondo.^{[5]
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American Psychological Association
Leading scientific and professional organization of licensed psychologists

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- A high-value man isn’t a robot and breaks down from time to time like anyone else. He leans on others for support and isn’t afraid to ask for help when he needs it.^{[6]
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He’s emotionally intelligent. Self-aware, empathetic, and socially skilled perfectly describe a high-value man. He is in tune with his emotions but doesn’t let them get the best of him, either. Because he knows how to recognize and manage his own emotions, a high-value man expertly reads the room, understands how others are feeling, and knows what is appropriate to say in different contexts.^{[7]
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- Of course, a high-value man isn’t perfect and doesn’t always say the right thing. What sets him apart is his humility and maturity. When he slips up, he always makes a sincere apology.
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He’s assertive. A high-value man rides the line between passive and aggressive. He goes after what he wants but doesn’t put others down to get to the finish line. A high-value man definitely speaks up for himself if he’s treated unfairly, but he doesn’t expect respect without giving it in return. This guy isn’t a bully or a punching bag, but rather treats people as equals because he understands everyone is just trying to succeed.^{[8]
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- What this really comes down to is enforcing boundaries. A high-value man knows how he should be treated, whether that’s from a boss, friend, or partner, and stands up for himself when he’s disrespected.
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A high-value man is responsible. People can depend on a high-value man because he is trustworthy, honors his commitments, and owns his actions. This isn’t the type of guy who breaks his promises or bails when things get tough; you can count on him to consistently show up.^{[9]
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- When a high-value man does mess up, he places the blame solely on himself because he understands that he is the one in control of his life.
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He is vulnerable and communicative. You’re never left guessing how a high-value man feels. He is great at expressing himself and isn’t afraid or ashamed to show his emotions. It takes work and skill to get there, but he is secure in himself and his relationships, making him a caring, understanding, and stable partner and friend.^{[10]
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- Like anyone else, a high-value man has difficulty opening up sometimes. He knows that keeping his fears bottled up isn’t healthy, and asks his friends or partner to work through them with him.
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He maintains healthy relationships. A high-value man surrounds himself with a high-value partner and friends. This guy has a good eye for other positive, driven, and purposeful people who build each other up. He holds his friends accountable, while his friends and partner keep him in check and encourage his continued growth.^{[11]
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American Psychological Association
Leading scientific and professional organization of licensed psychologists

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- A high-value man’s vulnerability and communication skills, as well as his deep respect for others, allows him to form healthy relationships.
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A high-value man takes care of himself. Aesthetically, pop culture sites suggest a high-value man is well-groomed, stylish, and attractive. While what’s on the inside is important, he understands that a put-together outfit and flattering haircut make a good impression. A high-value man also eats well, exercises regularly, and knows when he needs to take a mental or physical break.^{[12]
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- Working out in the gym isn’t the only way to take care of yourself, and definitely isn’t everybody’s cup of tea. Pursuing your hobbies, hanging out with friends, or traveling are all great ways to care for yourself.
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He is confident and self-assured. You know a high-value man when you see him because of his commanding presence; he exudes confidence with every step, gesture, and word. But he didn’t get there without failing, learning from his mistakes, taking feedback, and improving. Knowing how to pick up the pieces and get his life back on track is what makes him come across as so sure of himself.^{[13]
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- This doesn’t mean a high-value man doesn’t have insecurities or off days. He acknowledges his negative feelings and focuses on improving his mindset and skills to feel good about himself.
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He sticks to his values and beliefs. A high-value man has great manners and strives to be a good person. He says “Please” and “Thank you,” holds open doors, and treats people how he wants to be treated; no one is above or below him. He also has high standards for himself, keeping his life and space organized, following through on tasks and projects, and putting 110% into everything he does.^{[14]
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- He's thoughtful about how he can honor his values in his everyday life. If he's religious, then he makes that a focus. If he values adventure, then he's the type of guy who says "yes" to life.

Section 3 of 3:

How to Be a High-Value Man

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Find your purpose and set goals for it. Ask yourself what you’re passionate about and what brings you joy in life. Your purpose doesn’t have to be world-changing or huge, just something you want to accomplish in life. Then, write down all the steps you need to get there and what you need to do to accomplish them. Break the items down into smaller, manageable chunks and set achievable deadlines to ensure you get them done.^{[15]
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Harvard Business Review
Online and print journal covering topics related to business management practices

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- For example, your purpose might be becoming a CEO of a company, running your own small business, volunteering in your community, or starting a family.
- If you want to start your own business, you might think about what you want to sell, who your customers might be, and what your competition is like.
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Work on developing your confidence. Write down your greatest strengths to grow more self-assured about your path to your purpose. This helps you see what you’re good at and feel positive and motivated to grow. Feeling good about your qualities also helps you nail interviews, meet new people, and feel comfortable about going after new opportunities to further develop yourself.^{[16]
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- If you don’t feel totally confident at first, faking it can help you develop it! Appear collected and in control by rolling your shoulders back, standing up straight, and looking people in the eye.
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Surround yourself with like-minded people. Hang out with people who are motivated, positive, and have similar drives and motivations as you. These people will bring out the best in you and help you continue to grow and develop into a better person. They might also lead you towards your goals and help open new doors.^{[17]
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- Find like-minded friends by introducing yourself to new people whenever you’re at a party, the gym, or waiting in line for food. Joining clubs, organizations, and attending local events that interest you are also great ways to meet new people.
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Exercise, eat well, and develop your style to feel good about yourself. While confidence comes from within, feeling good about your outside definitely helps. Add lots of fresh fruits and vegetables to your diet, walk, run, or bike for about 30 minutes each day, and add weight training to your workouts. Then, try on different styles and cuts of clothes to find outfits that make you feel good.^{[18]
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HelpGuide
Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources.

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- Finding a hobby that you’re passionate about is another great way to feel good about yourself. Hobbies enrich your life and make you feel fulfilled, whether you take up gardening, baking, playing the trumpet, gaming, or designing clothes.