How to Hook up With a Guy As a Teenager

Reviewed by John Keegan

Last Updated: August 7, 2024 References

Hooking up with a guy as a teenager can be intimidating, but it shouldn't be. If you want to hook up with a guy, then all you have to do is make sure that both of you are comfortable, start off slow, and go in for the kill. You don't have to be the world's greatest kisser or the most experienced person in your school to hook up with a guy like a pro. If you want to know how to do it, just follow these steps.

Part 1

Part 1 of 3:

Making a Move

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1
Get him alone. The first step to hooking up with a guy is to find the right place to do it. You don't have to go on a moonlit stroll or find the most romantic place in the world to start locking lips, but you should try to find a place that is convenient, isolated, and somewhat romantic, so you can start off on the right foot. Don't overthink it, though--sometimes these meetings happen naturally, and you can't plan every last detail or things are bound to go wrong.
- He may be the one to get you alone. If you think that might happen, then just be prepared with fresh breath.
- You don't have to create an incredibly sexy atmosphere here. Candles, roses, romantic music--all of these things don't matter as much to a teenage guy as they might to a girl, stereotypically. The guy is more interested in the hooking up part than the scent of the candles.
2
Touch him. You can't just start kissing a guy without making some physical contact first. Guys love to be touched on the arms, shoulders, and chest area, so if you're standing close together, or sitting near each other, start naturally touching him in these places. Make sure he's touching you, too. If you start rubbing his arm and he does absolutely nothing, then you have a problem.^{[1]
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- Take it slow, but not too slow. If you and the guy are alone and he likes you, he's probably waiting to hook up.
- But remember: the guy is just as nervous as you are, if not more nervous. Guys are often expected to know what to do, and he may be just as clueless but will feel the added pressure of being expected to know what he's doing. Touching him with confidence will put him at ease.
3
Pull him toward you. Once you've been touching each other a little bit, and that part may last a few minutes or only a few seconds, pull the guy toward you. To do this, make eye contact, maybe even smile a little bit, and let him see that you want more. He may even brush the hair away from your face. If he's more forward, he may begin to pull you in, but you can also give him a pleasant surprise by taking charge and putting your arms around his neck while you pull him toward you, or just by placing a hand near the top of his back to move him in your direction.
- Though some guys like to take control, others will be relieved if you take over.
4
Kiss him with passion. Kissing is the first step to hooking up, obviously. You can start by moving toward his lips at a slight angle, so you don't end up kissing each other head on and bumping noses. Start off slow, just by touching lips for a second or two, and then touch lips a little bit more firmly, until you really feel the passion of the moment. As your kiss intensifies, you may tilt your head at a more dramatic angle.^{[2]
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- While you're kissing, make sure to keep your hands somewhat busy so they don't hang at your sides like limp fish. Kissing isn't just about the lip action, it's about the entire physical experience.

Part 2

Part 2 of 3:

Turning Up the Heat

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1
French kiss him. Once you've kissed him with a closed mouth for a while, it'll be time to move on to French kissing. Don't be nervous about it: just slowly slip your tongue inside his mouth and wait for him to do the same. First, you can just play around by letting the tips of your tongues touch, or you can get more aggressive and slide more of your tongue inside his mouth.^{[3]
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- Remember to come up for air every few minutes at least. You'll be needing a break.
- It's okay if your mouths get a little covered in spit. Just wipe your mouth like it's no big deal because it isn't.
2
Try a few other kissing styles. French kissing isn't the only way to kiss your guy. You can also try a variety of kisses that involve sucking or gently nibbling on his tongue, nibble on his lip, use your breath more vigorously, or just mix it up between regular kissing and French kissing. There's no right way to do it and everyone has his or her preference; your guy may love French kissing, or he may love the variety instead.^{[4]
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- Keep trying new things until you find a rhythm that works for you. If you do the same old thing for minutes on end, the hook up session will start to fizzle out.
- Then again, if this is your first time really kissing or hooking up with a guy, enjoy the moment without worrying too much about keeping things fresh. If you're 14, 15, 16, or even older, you two may still just enjoy the novelty of kissing.
3
Kiss his neck. The neck is a very sensitive area for guys, and they love to be kissed there. Once you've been kissing on the mouth for a while, keep touching his body while moving your head down to give him sweet, gentle kisses on the sides of his neck. This will turn him on guaranteed. Breathing some hot or cold air on his neck will make him even more excited.
- If he really likes this and you're feeling brave, give his neck a very gentle nibble. But only do this if you're pretty comfortable with each other.
4
Nibble his ear. Guys also love to be kissed or touched on the ear. Once you've kissed his neck, move your way up toward his ear and give him gentle kisses on his earlobes, at first. Then, if he responds well, you can start biting his ear lobes very gently. It's important to do this very lightly, or you could end up hurting the guy and ruining the moment.^{[5]
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- Kissing a guy's neck and ears is easier if you're both lying down. But if you're not ready to hook up in a horizontal position, no worries.
5
Sit on his lap. If you're wanting to take things to the next level and you're sitting next to each other and keep exploring each other's bodies, then you should try moving even closer to the guy to sit on his lap. You can sit with both legs hanging to one side of his lap, or even straddle him, if you're feeling bolder. Just remember that this is a pretty sexy position and will lead him to want something more.
- You can keep your arms wrapped around his neck or touch his chest when you do this.
6
Tease him. Teasing a guy, if done the right way, will get him even more excited about hooking up. If you want to tease him, then give him a long, passionate kiss, and just when you feel like things are getting really hot and heavy, pull away for a few seconds and stare into his eyes. Then, lean in to kiss him again. Just those few seconds of deprivation will remind him how much he wants you and how good you make him feel.^{[6]
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- This move should be tried sparingly, of course. You want to be playful not an actual tease.
7
Whisper in his ear. Whispering something sexy in the guy's ear will not only excite him just from having your hot breath on his sensitive earlobe, but also from hearing what you have to say. It doesn't have to be anything ground breaking: just say, "I love kissing you" or "I love what you're doing to my body," and he'll be even more excited to hook up with you.^{[7]
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- This should also be done sparingly.
- As you spend more time together, you'll have a better sense of the guy's hookup style. Maybe he likes to take breaks to talk a little or to whisper into each other's ears, or maybe he's more into just hooking up.
8
Play with his hair. A guy's scalp is another sensitive part of his body, so don't underestimate how much he'll like having his hair touched. Gently touch the top of his head with your fingers, or run your fingers through his hair, either moving from the top of his head to the bottom, or the reverse. The area just above the back of his neck is especially sensitive.
- You should do this while you're kissing, if you have the coordination.
This is only for advanced hookup artists. If things are getting really sexy, pull his index finger in your mouth, suck it up and down, and make eye contact with the guy while you're doing this. Just know that this is a very suggestive move, and you probably shouldn't try it unless you want to take things to the next level.
Let's face it: everyone has a different definition of what hooking up means. Some people think it just means kissing, while others think it means sex. So, if it means more than kissing to you, then you can move on to other things. You can let him reach his hand under your shirt and cup your breasts. You can start taking off each other's tops. You can touch each other's private parts over your jeans or pants, or even start getting down to your underwear. The important thing is not what you do, it's that you feel comfortable doing it.

Part 3

Part 3 of 3:

Reaching a Boiling Point

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1
Remember that no means no. It's possible that the guy you're with will have more expectations for the hook up than you will. That's perfectly natural. But that does not mean you should do anything that you're not comfortable with just to please him, to avoid disappointing him, or to avoid looking like a tease. If you feel that you've gone as far as you can handle, whether that means just kissing or oral sex, then firmly tell him that NO, you don't want to do anything else.
- If you're with a good guy, then he'll respect your decision to cut things off. If you're with a jerk, then yeah, he may get annoyed or upset. But who wants to hook up with that guy anyway?
2
Know if you're ready for more. Think you're ready for oral sex? For real sex? Knowing if you're ready for sex is not so different from knowing when you're in love: if you know, then you know. If you're unsure...then you shouldn't do it. Generally, it's a good idea to only get more intimate with a guy if you really know and like each other, and if he's your boyfriend. Or maybe you're just a free spirit who likes hooking up there's no judgment here, but make sure you don't end up getting hurt if that's what you really want.
- If you like the guy, you should hook up with him at least a few times so you can really make your mind up about him and get comfortable doing more.
- Make sure you're both on the same page. If you think having sex will make the guy your boyfriend but he's just looking for a good time, then you have a problem.
- In general, moving forward sexually does not mean that your actual relationship becomes more intimate; if you really like each other, then your relationship should be established outside of how far you go with each other.
3
Be safe at all times. It goes without saying: if you are sexually active, then you should always use protection, no matter what. Any guy who tells you that he doesn't want to use a condom because it doesn't feel as good should not be trusted. Do you want to be a teenager with an STD? A baby growing inside you? Probably not. So, if you're going to have sex, make sure you use a condom every time and know how to put it on, and that you're also considering additional methods of contraception.^{[8]
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- If you're sexually active on a regular basis, you may consider going on the birth control pill if your doctor thinks that's right for you. The birth control pill is taken every day and should be used in addition to a condom for extra protection.
4
End on a good note. Once you've finished hooking up with the guy for the night, make sure you have a smooth exit. Tell him you had a great time, give him a sweet kiss, and say goodnight or goodbye. There's no need to be awkward about the fact that you both just hooked up; in fact, you should both be happy about it. Keep your cool and make sure you're on the same page about your feeling for each other before you try to hook up again.
- Teenage hookups and relationships can be confusing, unpredictable, and downright frustrating. Remember to take it slow to make sure that you get what you want out of the relationship.

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Tips

Make sure it won't be awkward for you at school/anywhere you are forced to see him.

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If you don't want things to go too far, try to stay in a semi-public place, like the hallway to the movie theater.

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Try to have experience kissing.

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Warnings

Make sure he likes you, even a little bit.

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Make sure he's not a player.

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Make sure you're in the same social group, don't let your friends make it awkward for you.

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