How to Hook Up with a Girl at a Bar

Co-authored by Connell Barrett

Last Updated: August 21, 2024 References

Are you single and struggling to meet girls? Though there are many dating apps out there, you may be able to meet women the old fashioned way: in a bar. If you are looking to hook up with a girl at a bar, you should first prepare appropriately for a night out, work hard to get a girl’s attention, and create an opportunity for a hook up.

Part 1

Part 1 of 3:

Increasing Your Chances of Success

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Choose a bar that will have a higher likelihood of single women. You may want to be strategic when selecting a bar to meet single women, as not all bars are created equal in terms of having a high number of single women. The atmosphere of a bar over a club or a lounge is often more conducive to meeting single people, with its casual environment and cheaper drink prices. There are three primary types of bars:^{[1]
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- Neighborhood bars: This is your local pub or sports bar, with a gang of regulars and familiar faces. While these bars may be fun to go to with close friends every weekend, they may not be the ideal spot to pick up girls. If you go to your neighborhood bar often, you will likely know everyone who frequents the bar and are not as likely to meet new single women in this type of venue.
- Popular bars: These bars are known hang out spots in the downtown area of your town or city, or franchise pubs that are often packed on the weekends. While these bars are often crowded with people, new and familiar, it may be more difficult to get a girl’s attention in this environment, especially in a large crowd.
- Dive bars: These bars are considered a little seedy or dank, with cheap drink specials and a casual atmosphere. You may find that dive bars are one of the best settings to meet single women, as the people in the bar are likely less image conscious and are accustomed to the bar scene.
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Ask friends where they go to pick up girls. You can also reach out to friends who are single and often go out to pick up girls or friends who are in the know. Ask them which bars they prefer and if any particular nights are popular, such as Ladies’ Night or Single’s Night at a certain night spot.
- You can also try searching online reviews of certain bars or pubs to determine if they are good spots to meet single women. Read the reviews of a bar before you go, as it may tip you off as to if you are walking into a prime hook up spot.
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You should dress according to the setting. Choose a more relaxed outfit, like a clean t-shirt and jeans, if you are going to a dive bar or a neighborhood bar. You may decide to get a bit more dressed up if you are going to a popular bar, such as a collared shirt and slacks.
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Invite a few friends to support you. Reach out to one or two friends who are willing to act as wingmen for you at the bar. Choose friends who are confident and have had success with girls in the past, or a few single friends who are also interested in meeting single women.
- Try not to go out with a big group of friends or a pack of other guys, as this can overwhelm potential dates and make it difficult to focus on the single girls in the room.
Practice good hygiene and grooming. Present your most attractive self by practicing good hygiene and grooming. Take a hot shower, style your hair, trim your beard or shave (if necessary), and put on cologne. Try not to throw on too much cologne, as the overwhelming smell may turn off potential dates at the bar.

Part 2

Part 2 of 3:

Getting a Girl’s Attention

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Make eye contact with her. Once you notice a girl you are attracted to or interested in, you should make fleeting eye contact with her. Avoid staring or leering at her. Instead, glance at her periodically and smile at her. If she returns your glances and smiles, she may also be interested in you.^{[2]
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- You should also display open body language to show her you are engaged in her. Keep your hands relaxed at your sides or casually holding a drink, with your body facing towards her and your head facing her direction.
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Buy her a drink, and her friends a drink. Really get her attention by sending over a few drinks to her table or offering to pay for her drink at the bar. Look at what she is already drinking before you order something and ask the bartender what she is drinking. You should then order her the same thing or something similar.^{[3]
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- Offering her friends drinks as well will show her that you can be considerate of her company and are not trying to impress just her. Buying her friends a drink, as well as her, will also appear non threatening and friendly.
- Remember that a girl does not owe you any of her attention just because you bought a drink. Buy her a drink as a friendly way to notify her of your presence, but not as an excuse to aggressively pursue her or push yourself on her.
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Gather up the courage to introduce yourself. If she accepts your drink, you can take this as a sign that she is open to engaging with you. Take a deep breath and gather up the courage to walk over and say “hi” to her. Tell her your name and ask her about herself. Be relaxed and casual in your introduction, using open and non-threatening body language.^{[4]
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- Maintain eye contact when you speak to her and do not shy away from talking to her friends, as well. Show her that you can handle talking to her friends and be personable as you speak to them. But keep your primary focus on her, using small talk like “What do you do?” or “I love this song, do you like this band?”
- Early compliments about her physical appearance are risky, unless she's obviously into you. Get in her good graces first by showing enthusiasm for her hobbies, interests or other topics that come up in conversation.

Part 3

Part 3 of 3:

Closing in on the Hook Up

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Offer to play pool or throw darts with her. Suggest that you do a fun activity together, like play pool or throw darts. If the bar has arcade games, challenge her to a game. Doing a fun activity together can help to break the ice and allow you both to relax and enjoy each other’s company.^{[5]
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- She may prefer to sit and talk with you over a few more drinks, rather than play a game or do an activity. You may suggest a fun drinking game you can play, your friends, and her friends together. This can be a fun way to get to know each other and have fun in a comfortable, casual way.
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Encourage open and casual conversation. As the night goes on, you should focus on talking to the girl you are interested in. This may mean staying close to her and making jokes to keep the mood light or maintaining fun, light banter while you both play a game or have more drinks.^{[6]
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- In the opening conversation, follow up on her statements with open ended questions, such as "Oh, you're a football fan. What's your favorite team?" or "What are you studying at college?" If she stick around and continues to pay attention to you, keep the banter light and quick instead. "Enjoying your night?" leads to more flirtation than an interview about her travel history.
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Determine if she is single and interested. By this point you probably already know whether she's interested, but asking whether she's single is an obvious signal that you want to take things further. If she says no or seems uncomfortable, the two of you aren't on the same page.
- You can also try to read her body language throughout the night to get a sense of her intentions. Notice if she maintains eye contact with you, laughs at your jokes, and displays open body language, with her body relaxed and turned towards you.
- Take baby steps to see if she's giving you "green lights" toward making a move. For example, you might offer to give her a high-five or hug and see how she responds.
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Make a move and gauge her reaction. Once you feel confident that she is single and possibly interested, you may make a move. The type of move you make will depend on your intentions. If you are looking for a casual hook up, you may mention that your place is close by or that you both could have a drink at your place to cap off the night. This is a clear hint that you are making a move.^{[7]
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Research source} If you're looking for a date — or you suspect she won't be into the one night stand — hand her your phone and say "Why don't you put your number in there?"
- You can become more physically intimate with her by placing your hand on her waist or touching her hair or face. Only do this if she seems interested in you and she displays open body language, where she appears into touching and becoming more intimate in public.
- If she says no or appears uncomfortable by your hook up suggestion, back off and apologize. Tell her that you misread her intentions and respect her decision. Never try to force yourself on a girl or convince her to come home with you.
- Don't make a move unless you're really confident that she's interested. You always want your move to be well-received, not surprising and creepy.
If you are successful and you hook up with her, you should always use protection. Put on a condom before you have sex and ask her if she is on birth control. Make sure you are safe with any type of sexual contact, as you want to ensure you both have fun and do not have any regrets the next morning.