This article was co-authored by Cher Gopman and by wikiHow staff writer, Hannah Madden. Cher Gopman is the Founder of NYC Wingwoman LLC, a date coaching service based in New York City. 'NYC Wingwoman' offers matchmaking, wingwoman services, 1-on-1 Coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. Cher is a Certified Life Coach, a former psychiatric nurse, and her work has been featured on Inside Edition, Fox, ABC, VH1, and The New York Post.
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Going out on the town with your friends is fun, but sometimes you might head out with a mission in mind. Approaching someone at a bar is a nerve-wracking experience, but there's no downside to saying hello and seeing what happens. Try to stay confident and break the ice with some flirty conversation to pick a guy up at a bar the next time you’re out and about.
Things You Should Know
- Get the ball rolling by making eye contact with him and sending him a drink.
- Introduce yourself and the guy for his name. From there, launch into a fun and flirtatious conversation.
- Exchange numbers if the vibes seem good, and see if he wants to go home with you.
Steps
Expert Q&A
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QuestionHow can I be more subtle when I'm flirting with guys?Cher GopmanCher Gopman is the Founder of NYC Wingwoman LLC, a date coaching service based in New York City. 'NYC Wingwoman' offers matchmaking, wingwoman services, 1-on-1 Coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. Cher is a Certified Life Coach, a former psychiatric nurse, and her work has been featured on Inside Edition, Fox, ABC, VH1, and The New York Post.
Dating CoachOne thing you should avoid is talking too much about yourself. You don't want to ramble and talk so much that it comes off as being conceited or not interested in the other person. You also want to be careful not to come off as too needy or too available. When you are trying to flirt, you're obviously interested in the person, but coming off as too available is actually going to turn that other person away. You want to make sure you leave a little bit of mystery. Finally, don't be too touchy or overly sexual right upfront. -
QuestionHow can I use body language to flirt with a guy?Cher GopmanCher Gopman is the Founder of NYC Wingwoman LLC, a date coaching service based in New York City. 'NYC Wingwoman' offers matchmaking, wingwoman services, 1-on-1 Coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. Cher is a Certified Life Coach, a former psychiatric nurse, and her work has been featured on Inside Edition, Fox, ABC, VH1, and The New York Post.
Dating CoachSmiling is very important. It shows that you're engaged. Eye contact is also super important. A little bit of hair touching every once in a while is a sign of flirting, as well as leaning in a little bit when you're seated. If you're leaning back, it looks like you're not interested. Make sure your arms aren't closed off. Don't be afraid to touch the other person if they seem comfortable. -
QuestionHow do I transition from flirting to asking him out?Cher GopmanCher Gopman is the Founder of NYC Wingwoman LLC, a date coaching service based in New York City. 'NYC Wingwoman' offers matchmaking, wingwoman services, 1-on-1 Coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. Cher is a Certified Life Coach, a former psychiatric nurse, and her work has been featured on Inside Edition, Fox, ABC, VH1, and The New York Post.
Dating CoachAs you're flirting, find a common interest that you both like and say, "We should totally do this sometime." If they say yes, then right then and there you can ask for their number.
Tips
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Try taking 1 or 2 of your friends with you to the bar for safety.Thanks
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Pick an outfit that makes you feel comfortable and confident.Thanks
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If you get rejected, take it in stride. If you get angry or upset, you're just ruining your own night.Thanks
Warnings
- Use your best judgement when picking up strangers. Never leave your drink unattended or give out your address where someone might overhear.Thanks
- Always drink responsibly.Thanks
- Making overtly sexual comments can come across as sleazy, especially if you've just met someone. Make sure he's interested and seems like someone who would go with it before you attempt that.Thanks
References
- ↑ https://www.gq.com/story/a-gay-guide-to-picking-up-the-hot-guy-at-the-bar
- ↑ Cher Gopman. Relationship Coach. Expert Interview. 17 May 2019.
- ↑ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-UM-et5tEkU&feature=youtu.be&t=237
- ↑ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-UM-et5tEkU&feature=youtu.be&t=281
- ↑ https://www.gq.com/story/a-gay-guide-to-picking-up-the-hot-guy-at-the-bar
- ↑ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-UM-et5tEkU&feature=youtu.be&t=313
- ↑ Cher Gopman. Relationship Coach. Expert Interview. 17 May 2019.
- ↑ https://www.gq.com/story/a-gay-guide-to-picking-up-the-hot-guy-at-the-bar
- ↑ Cher Gopman. Relationship Coach. Expert Interview. 17 May 2019.