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It's always exciting when a new text pops up on your phone. While you might not have a reply prepared right away, the person’s probably waiting for you to respond. Everyone has slightly different texting habits, but you can still be respectful and follow some general texting etiquette. We've put together a list of options and advice to help you figure out the best time to send your message!

1

Try to answer time-sensitive messages ASAP.

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  1. It can be easy to forget about a message until later on if it gets lost in your notifications. If someone asks you a question that needs an immediate answer, show your respect and reply to them right away. That way, you won’t keep them guessing and they can keep doing what they need to.[1]
    • For example, you should try to reply right away when someone asks you if they need to buy a ticket for an event later that night.
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2

Respond to your crush right away if you're into them.

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3

Reply within 30–60 minutes to play it a little cool.

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  1. Even though you might be really excited to message them, you might seem a little needy or clingy with an immediate response. If you want to play it cool, wait for up to an hour so it doesn’t seem like you’re always on your phone checking for their reply.[3]
    • While it’s okay to reply later if you’re actually busy, purposefully waiting to text somebody might feel disrespectful if you’re available. If you had to make the person wait for more than an hour, offer them an apology and explain what kept you from messaging them.[4]
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5

Try matching the other person’s texting speed.

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  1. If the person responds to you within a few minutes, they’re probably pretty eager to keep up the conversation so say something back to them quickly. If the person took about a day, then you’re fine leaving the text until tomorrow before you have to reply back.[5]
    • On top of taking the same amount of time, try to make your messages a similar length as the other person. That way, the conversation still feels balanced.[6]
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6

Catch up at the end of the day if you're slammed.

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  1. There may be days where you’re absolutely slammed and can’t find a chance to check your phone, and that’s okay! Even if it’s later in the same day, let the person know that you’re sorry for being so busy and offer a kind and thoughtful response to their message.[7]
    • For example, you could say something like, “I am SO sorry work was such a mess today, but other than that I’ve been pretty good! I hope your day wasn’t as stressful as mine 😊”
7

Wait until the next day instead of texting super late.

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9

Ask for some time to respond to tough questions.

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11

Ghost them if you aren't interested.

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  1. This works best if you’re texting someone on a dating app that you just connected with. If you’ve only been texting but haven’t gotten together with someone in person, then you haven’t really had the time to form a good bond with them, so it’s okay to leave their messages on read.[11]
    • It’s also okay to ghost someone if you feel unsafe when you’re talking to them.
    • If you’ve met the person you’re talking to but you still aren’t interested in the conversation, be honest and tell the person directly. Waiting to reply or ghosting the person will only hurt their feelings more.[12]
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Expert Interview

Thanks for reading our article! If you’d like to learn more about texting etiquette, check out our in-depth interview with Christina Jay, NLP.

  1. https://qz.com/995174/how-long-should-you-wait-before-sending-a-second-text/
  2. https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/soloish/wp/2015/10/30/ghosting-when-to-do-it-and-when-to-text-back/
  3. Christina Jay, NLP. Matchmaker & Certified Life Coach. Expert Interview. 3 March 2021.
  4. https://www.businessinsider.com/what-to-do-when-you-dont-get-a-text-back-2018-1
  5. John Keegan. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 19 August 2021.
  6. Christina Jay, NLP. Matchmaker & Certified Life Coach. Expert Interview. 3 March 2021.

About This Article

Christina Jay, NLP
Co-authored by:
Matchmaker & Certified Life Coach
This article was co-authored by Christina Jay, NLP and by wikiHow staff writer, Hunter Rising. Christina Jay is a Matchmaker and Certified Life Coach based in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. Christina is the founder of Preferred Match (preferredmatch.ca), her matchmaking service that finds love for successful and elite individuals. She has over 10 years of coaching experience, earned her NLP (Neuro-linguistic Programming) certification through NLP Canada Training, and has a BA in Business Administration from Brock University. This article has been viewed 186,792 times.
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Co-authors: 6
Updated: December 14, 2024
Views: 186,792
Categories: Texting
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