This article was co-authored by Amber Rosenberg, PCC and by wikiHow staff writer, Hunter Rising. Amber Rosenberg is a Professional Life Coach, Career Coach, and Executive Coach based in the San Francisco Bay Area. As the owner of Pacific Life Coach, she has 20+ years of coaching experience and a background in corporations, tech companies, and nonprofits. Amber trained with the Coaches Training Institute and is a member of the International Coaching Federation (ICF).
There are 26 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page.
This article has been fact-checked, ensuring the accuracy of any cited facts and confirming the authority of its sources.
This article has been viewed 11,336 times.
While it’s normal to dislike your family from time to time, saying you hate them is a stronger feeling with a deeper reason. How you were raised and differences in your views are the main causes of these feelings, and how you work through the issue depends on what you want out of your family relationships. Whether you want to maintain the relationship or cut ties with your family, keep reading to learn why you may hate your family and what choice you should make to reconcile with your feelings.
Things You Should Know
- People may hate their family members if they act emotionally abusive or neglectful, have different values and perspectives, or exhibit toxic behaviors.
- Stay connected with friends and people who support you if you have a difficult family relationship. Stay busy with activities you enjoy to process your feelings.
- Set firm boundaries with your family and limit conversation topics to maintain the relationship. Slowly reduce contact with family members you want to cut ties with.
Steps
Expert Q&A
-
QuestionWhat advice do you have for establishing healthy boundaries with your family?Amber Rosenberg, PCCAmber Rosenberg is a Professional Life Coach, Career Coach, and Executive Coach based in the San Francisco Bay Area. As the owner of Pacific Life Coach, she has 20+ years of coaching experience and a background in corporations, tech companies, and nonprofits. Amber trained with the Coaches Training Institute and is a member of the International Coaching Federation (ICF).
Life CoachSetting boundaries is best done with a graceful or neutral tone. This will feel uncomfortable at first, but as you take care of yourself, the personal power you gain will make it easier. When setting boundaries, there is no need to justify, give excuses, or over-explain your feelings. Be firm, gracious, and direct. When faced with resistance, repeat your statement or request.
Tips
-
For more information about family relationships and mental health support, check resources like HelpGuide and SAMHSA.Thanks
-
If you or a family member is struggling with substance abuse or mental health issues, try contacting the SAMHSA hotline.Thanks
Warnings
- If there’s a crisis or immediate emergency and you need help, don’t be afraid to contact emergency services right away.Thanks
- If you’re in an abusive household and are in danger, contact 1-800-422-4453 to reach the National Child Abuse hotline and speak with a trained counselor.[27]Thanks
Expert Interview
Thanks for reading our article! If you’d like to learn more about human behavior, check out our in-depth interview with Amber Rosenberg, PCC.
References
- ↑ https://news.osu.edu/study-examines-what-makes-adult-children-cut-ties-with-parents/
- ↑ https://standalone.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/HiddenVoices.FinalReport.pdf
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/emotional-abuse
- ↑ https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0145213421004075?via%3Dihub
- ↑ https://cwig-prod-prod-drupal-s3fs-us-east-1.s3.amazonaws.com/public/documents/long_term_consequences.pdf
- ↑ https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/17030892/
- ↑ https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/child-abuse/symptoms-causes/syc-20370864
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships-communication/attachment-and-adult-relationships.htm
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/ptsd-trauma/coping-with-emotional-and-psychological-trauma.htm
- ↑ https://psychcentral.com/blog/imperfect/2019/05/the-enmeshed-family-system-what-it-is-and-how-to-break-free#Families-need-boundaries
- ↑ https://health.clevelandclinic.org/toxic-parenting-traits/
- ↑ https://www.hopkinsallchildrens.org/Patients-Families/Health-Library/HealthDocNew/5-Ways-to-Be-More-Aware-of-Your-Emotions
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/insight-therapy/201009/emotional-acceptance-why-feeling-bad-is-good
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/in-flux/202204/5-strategies-cope-toxic-family-members
- ↑ https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/family-abuse.html
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/ptsd-trauma/coping-with-emotional-and-psychological-trauma.htm
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/blog/your-emotional-meter/202306/how-to-navigate-difficult-family-relationships
- ↑ https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/family-abuse.html
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships-communication/setting-healthy-boundaries-in-relationships.htm
- ↑ https://psychcentral.com/relationships/tips-for-dealing-with-your-toxic-parents#tips
- ↑ https://psychcentral.com/relationships/tips-for-dealing-with-your-toxic-parents
- ↑ https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/treatments/24454-family-therapy
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships-communication/dealing-with-difficult-family-relationships.htm
- ↑ https://psychcentral.com/disorders/how-to-stop-contact-narcissistic-relatives#how-to-cut-ties
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/women-autism-spectrum-disorder/202008/5-signs-its-time-cut-yourself-your-toxic-family
- ↑ https://psychcentral.com/blog/imperfect/2019/10/its-okay-to-cut-ties-with-toxic-family-members#Tips-for-cutting-ties-with-a-toxic-family-member
- ↑ https://screening.mhanational.org/content/my-family-members-are-abusive/