How to Impress a Girl in Middle School

Co-authored by Stefanie Safran

Last Updated: August 29, 2024 References

Middle school is the time when many boys begin to try and impress girls. However, because it is something so new it can often seem awkward and uncomfortable. She will notice you as long as you remain confident and kind.

Method 1

Method 1 of 4:

Looking Sharp

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1
Maintain your daily hygiene. Make it a priority to shower often in order to smell clean and avoid foul odors. Try to brush your teeth, comb your hair, and upkeep any other part of the body before leaving for school.^{[1]
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Stefanie Safran
Dating Coach & Matchmaker

Expert Interview. 8 May 2020.} Feeling fresh not only looks good, but you’ll feel rejuvenated and confident.^{[2]
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- Most boys begin to have a more distinct body odor in middle school. Combat this by wearing deodorant. Avoid using strong colognes such as Axe unless it is in small proportions. If the smell is overbearing, ladies won’t want to hang out too close.
- If you feel the need to use cologne, use it sparingly.
- Try choosing a deodorant that smells refreshing with a hint of musk.^{[3]
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Dress well. Image is important for first impressions.^{[4]
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Stefanie Safran
Dating Coach & Matchmaker

Expert Interview. 8 May 2020.} Though all girls are different, it's no lie that they like to see guys in hoodies and sweatpants. The "comfy" or "sporty" look is in right now, which is a plus since you can stay comfortable!^{[5]
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- Even if your middle school requires uniforms, you can still pull off a sharp look by caring for your clothes.
- Do not let your clothes get shabby or smelly. As a general rule, don’t wear a top more than one day. Pants should only be worn two to three times before a wash.
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Feel good in your skin. While looks are not the only thing that matters, it’s often the first thing that a girl will notice about you. Confidence is something that girls can easily pick up on. Try setting small goals for yourself like learning the piano (middle school is the perfect age to begin an instrument). Exercise is another way to feel comfortable in your body and boost your self-esteem.
- You can reach a confident state of mind by dressing in a way that comforts you.
- Once you’re out the door, don’t look back on what you’re wearing. Live in the moment and don’t worry about your clothes out of the house.^{[6]
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Have good posture. Having a confident posture can impact your chance of success by positively affecting your brain. Your posture impacts the way others see you.^{[7]
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Research source} While standing be sure to hold your head and chin up straight while looking ahead, put your shoulders back, and take a deep breath to relax your shoulders.
- When you're sitting down put your back against the backrest of the chair, put your knees at a right angle, and keep your feet flat on the floor.
- Avoid slumping forward while standing or sitting. Try to look ahead of you while walking instead of looking down at the ground.^{[8]
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Method 2

Method 2 of 4:

Practicing Respect

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Be kind to her. It is easy to fall into the trap of being mean to a girl you like, but in the end girls appreciate a nice, compassionate guy. Rather than tease or bother a girl you are trying to impress, flatter her with kindness. When you pass her in the hall, smile and say “Hey, Jess.” Take any opportunity to help out, like holding open a door, picking up her books, or offering her notes when she was sick.^{[9]
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- Do not be overly nice or it will come across as phony.
- Also, be nice to her friends because friends often influence how someone feels about another person.
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Act considerate. Not only should you be considerate towards the girl you are trying to impress, but also to others around you. Once she sees how you treat others, it will shed light on your overall character. Practicing consideration for others will benefit you in all your future impressions on women.
- Don't be a bully.
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Use your manners. Girls notice and appreciate a boy who is well mannered. For example, if she is walking behind you through a doorway make sure to hold the door open for her.^{[10]
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Stefanie Safran
Dating Coach & Matchmaker

Expert Interview. 8 May 2020.} Also saying please and thank you is appreciated by everyone.^{[11]
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- Make her feel special in anyway that's available to you. For example, if there is only one candy bar left and you both reach for it, offer it to her.
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Show compassion. Be careful and conscientious about what you say around her. Don’t say something around her that may make her feel uncomfortable. Avoid putting others down even as a joke; she may see you as judgmental and feel self-conscious around you.
- You can be compassionate by showing encouragement to her and others. Positive reinforcement goes a long way in middle school and is often overlooked.
- Try out some positive messages in your day at school like "Don't even worry about that math test, Shonda. I know you'll ace it!" or "Good luck with your soccer tryout, Bill!"

Method 3

Method 3 of 4:

Making Her Feel Special

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Ask her friends about her. This is a romance tool that extends into the mature dating world. Ask about her to her friends and tell them you like her. Do not play hard to get. Let her know that you are interested in her. If she shows you any attention make sure to return the affection. Even if it sounds frivolous, try saying something like this to her friend:
- "Hey do you know if Lauren has a boyfriend?"
- "I want to ask Kris to the movies. You think she’d go with me?"
- Use your friends to relay information as well.^{[12]
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While making a girl jealous may seem like a way to make her notice you, in the end, you aren't getting attention in the right area. Focus on making the girl you like feel appreciated rather than jealous.
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Compliment her. Think about what you truly like about this girl and tell her directly. It should not be over the top. You can casually slip in a compliment within a conversation. Try compliment her on what she is wearing if it looks good.^{[13]
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Stefanie Safran
Dating Coach & Matchmaker

Expert Interview. 8 May 2020.}
- If you notice she got a haircut, compliment her on it.
- Try complimenting her if she is wearing something that looks like it took effort.
- Compliment her in aspects other than her appearance like: "Woah, Sujata, you really killed it on the electric guitar" or "I wish I was as good as you at Math."
Be there for her if she needs assistance in any way, whether it is helping her carry something heavy, cleaning up a spill, or helping her with a math problem. She will notice the time you took out of your day to help her.
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Listen to her. Portray genuine interest when listening to what she has to say. Ask her questions about what she is telling you so that she knows that you care. Try not to talk about yourself too much and instead ask her questions.^{[14]
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Stefanie Safran
Dating Coach & Matchmaker

Expert Interview. 8 May 2020.} Your chemistry together will increase if you engage properly in conversation.
- You can also try asking open-ended questions, or ones that require more than a yes or no response. Try something like "So Jamie, what movie would you recommend?" or "How did you figure out that problem so fast?"
- This will establish a closeness with her that could develop into something more.
Starting an inside joke with the girl you are trying to impress is a great way to connect and get a little closer. It will become a thing you share while making her laugh at the same time. Romance shouldn’t be pure chivalry and modesty. Have a laugh every now and then.

Method 4

Method 4 of 4:

Staying True to Yourself

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Act natural. Do not try to be someone that you are not in order to impress her. You want her to genuinely like you as a person and do not want to come off as phony. Don’t try to be overly funny if you don’t usually tell jokes. Also try not to be the mysterious type if you're usually a little goofy.
- Everyone has the ability to flirt and everyone does it a little differently. Find your style through practice. If you find some guys are playful while they're flirting and you're more polite, don't try to imitate some else's style.^{[15]
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Showcase your interests. Show her some of your hobbies and extracurricular activities that you participate in so she will find you interesting. Never lie about what you enjoy to do. If you’re in the math club, be real and fess up.
- Don’t go to elaborate lengths to impress her either. Bring it up if it is appropriate. Nobody likes a showoff.
- Attraction is all about learning to reveal and receive.
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Be true to your friends. It is important to have a healthy social life. If a girl sees that you have close friends, it will reinforce to her that you have likable qualities. Friends can also be a judge of the girl you like. Never go for a girl if you’re friends don’t approve.^{[16]
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- Use your friends to tell her group of friends that you like her. Never ask a friend to ask the girl out. You always need to ask her out yourself.

Expert Q&A

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Question

What are the things that make boys more attractive to girls?

Stefanie Safran
Dating Coach & Matchmaker
Stefanie Safran is a Dating Coach, Matchmaker, and the Owner of Stef in the City, a Matchmaking and Dating Coaching business focused on an honest and hands on approach. Stefanie labels herself as “Chicago's Introductionista®” as she has over 15 years of experience in the matchmaking industry. Her work has been featured on various media such as: ABC7, NBC5, CBS2, WGN, FOX, The Chicago Tribune, The Chicago Sun Times, The HuffPost, and Refinery29. She holds a MBA in marketing and branding from Loyola University in addition to her BA from the University of Wisconsin-Madison.

Stefanie Safran

Dating Coach & Matchmaker

Expert Answer

Girls like boys who are clean-shaven or have a well-groomed beard. They have a liking for boys who have good personal hygiene and dress appropriately.

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Question

How can I break the ice with a girl?

Stefanie Safran
Dating Coach & Matchmaker
Stefanie Safran is a Dating Coach, Matchmaker, and the Owner of Stef in the City, a Matchmaking and Dating Coaching business focused on an honest and hands on approach. Stefanie labels herself as “Chicago's Introductionista®” as she has over 15 years of experience in the matchmaking industry. Her work has been featured on various media such as: ABC7, NBC5, CBS2, WGN, FOX, The Chicago Tribune, The Chicago Sun Times, The HuffPost, and Refinery29. She holds a MBA in marketing and branding from Loyola University in addition to her BA from the University of Wisconsin-Madison.

Stefanie Safran

Dating Coach & Matchmaker

Expert Answer

You can offer a compliment to break the ice. For example, you can say, Hey, you are looking very nice. The girl will probably feel more relaxed. It will be easier to start a conversation.

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Question

How do you make your conversation interesting?

Stefanie Safran
Dating Coach & Matchmaker
Stefanie Safran is a Dating Coach, Matchmaker, and the Owner of Stef in the City, a Matchmaking and Dating Coaching business focused on an honest and hands on approach. Stefanie labels herself as “Chicago's Introductionista®” as she has over 15 years of experience in the matchmaking industry. Her work has been featured on various media such as: ABC7, NBC5, CBS2, WGN, FOX, The Chicago Tribune, The Chicago Sun Times, The HuffPost, and Refinery29. She holds a MBA in marketing and branding from Loyola University in addition to her BA from the University of Wisconsin-Madison.

Stefanie Safran

Dating Coach & Matchmaker

Expert Answer

Make eye contact while talking girls like it. Make sure that you follow through in your conversation. You can ask a question and give her a chance to speak about herself. Avoid talking too much about yourself.

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Not Helpful 5 Helpful 34