How to Kiss Someone You Love

Co-authored by Connell Barrett

Last Updated: July 12, 2024 Approved

Kissing someone you love is often different than a kiss after a casual date or with someone you just met. Many people envision their first kiss to be perfect, because they really care about the person they are kissing. Maybe this isn't your first time to kiss your partner, but you want to kiss them in a way that shows them you really care. Although not every kiss is a replica of the classic "first kiss" straight out of a movie, it can still be sweet and magical.

Part 1

Part 1 of 3:

Reading the Signs

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Decide if you are ready. The first kiss in any relationship often takes that relationship to the next level, so you want to make sure that you are ready before you make the first move. Maybe you are in a friendship with someone that you really care about and want to become more, or you are in a relationship and are ready to show your partner that you love them. Either way, you don't want to jump into something without thinking over the results.^{[1]
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- Maybe kissing someone isn't a big deal to you, but when you kiss someone you love, it's usually more than just a casual flirtation. In this case, you want to make sure you are at a point where your words can match your actions, meaning you are committed to the relationship, or the prospective relationship.
- It could also be really sweet to tell your friend or partner that you love them along with your kiss. This really takes the relationship to the next level, but is very thoughtful and shows your partner that you care about them and are committed.
- If you are interested in kissing a close friend, because you realize you are in love with them, just remember to think about the possible results of this action. You don't want to ruin your relationship or make your friend feel awkward, so feel out the friendship to see if it is an appropriate time.
- They key to knowing if you are in love with someone may be that you are willing to take the risk in showing them, no matter the results.
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Observe your friend or partner. Along with deciding if you are ready, you also want to figure out if the person you love is in a place where they want to kiss you too. Observe how they are acting around you to figure out if they share the same feelings that you do.^{[2]
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- Is your love being especially flirty with you? Are they making romantic gestures to show you they really care about you? Do they seem committed to the relationship? Are they spending more time with you than usual? Do they help you without being asked? These could all be signs that they're in love with you or at least feel strongly about you.
- This step mainly helps prevent heartbreak in a relationship. Kissing someone you love who doesn't feel the same way about you can be embarrassing and also hurtful, so before you make a move you should feel confident that they would want to reciprocate.
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Know them intimately. This doesn't mean physically, but before you kiss someone you love, you should know them emotionally, because this will amp up the kiss and make it more meaningful. Kissing someone you love is different than kissing someone during a hook-up -- you want it to be special and communicate strong feelings towards that person.
- If you are not at a point yet where you know someone intimately, take time to get to know them. Maybe you fell in love with them because you saw how they interacted with others, but you haven't had the chance to know them personally. Taking this time to learn who they really are will help create a special kiss.

Part 2

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Setting the Scene

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Pick a location. One key to making a kiss special and magical is to kiss the person you love in an environment that you view as romantic. This doesn't have to be a stereotypical romantic scene, like on a horse-drawn carriage ride, but it can be something that feels sweet and magical to you. Think about some special spots that you have been to in your relationship or some spots that you think of as romantic. Plan to kiss your partner in one of these locations.^{[3]
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- Some romantic locations are at a park with a lake or pond, in a secluded corner of a restaurant, at the beach, under the stars, on the top of a building with a great view, etc.
- Often times the best kisses are somewhere secluded and quiet, so the two of you aren't distracted. However, you can kiss your partner in a place a with a lot going on if you still feel that it would be meaningful.
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Plan a special date. You can kiss a person anywhere, but to make it meaningful, it's helpful to plan a meaningful date to set the scene for the kiss. As previously mentioned, choose a romantic location and plan a date that you and your partner would both really enjoy. Maybe you don't find roses and candlelight romantic, but you both love sporting events. Whatever you think would be the most enjoyable date, plan your night around that.^{[4]
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- During your time together, there will need to be a time where it is appropriate to move closer to your love. If you are doing something where there's always a foot between the two of you, it may not be the best place to kiss. Plan a date where you can become close and intimate with your love.
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Make it unique to your relationship. The most romantic times in a relationship can also be the most thoughtful, when you've planned a date or given someone a gift because it means a lot to them. Don't just go with a classic "date night" but do something fun and different. Take your love to the first place that you met, or the place you first realized you loved them.
- For example, a couple may be really into books and so a romantic place to kiss would be in the secluded section of an old library. Or maybe they are really into the outdoors, so kissing in a canoe might be really sweet.
- If you think your partner would enjoy a classic date night, then do that! There is no perfect formula for a good date, so just do whatever you think your date would most enjoy.
One way to make your love eager and excited for the upcoming date is to leave little hints or reminders throughout the week. Text your love throughout the week saying that you are excited for your date, or send them sweet messages throughout the week with compliments or expressing your feelings towards your partner.
Maybe you aren't much of a planner, so a planned date and picked-out location seems a bit mechanical to you. In that case, kiss that special someone at a moment that feels right to you. It doesn't always have to be a planned out, perfect date, so when you are with your love and you look at them, realizing you are in love, then make the move at that moment!

Part 3

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Preparing for the Kiss

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Look your best. Before you make the move to kiss your love, you'll want to look your best so that the kiss can be really special and meaningful. If you normally hang out with your partner in t-shirts and sweats, try a new style like throwing on a nice pair of pants or a skirt and fixing up your hair. This will likely make your love more attracted to you, which will make the kiss even more romantic and passionate.
- Consider spritzing on a nice cologne or perfume so that your love will want to snuggle up even closer to you.
Before you kiss someone, you'll want to make sure your breath doesn't smell and that your lips aren't chapped. If you just ate a meal, chew some minty gum to freshen your breath, or if you have time, brush your teeth. You might also want to put on some chapstick if your lips are more chapped than usual.^{[5]
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Expert Source

Connell Barrett
Dating Coach

Expert Interview. 24 September 2019.} Now that you look the part you're ready to actually make the first move. On your date, or wherever you are, become more intimate with your love by inching closer to them. Consider sitting next to them and putting your arm around them or holding their hand.
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Expert Source

Connell Barrett
Dating Coach

Expert Interview. 24 September 2019.} This is key to showing your partner that you love them and to making your kiss special. Eye contact can do so much, as people who know each other well can often communicate a lot of emotions just by staring into each other's eyes. Looking people in the eye is also a way to show someone you aren't just playing around and that they can trust you.
Show your love how much you care about them or what they mean to you by expressing your feelings in sweet words. Tell them how you feel about them or compliment them on qualities you really admire in them. This will stir up both of your affections, making the kiss sweeter and more intimate.
First, look your love in the eyes. Then, you can tenderly stroke their face or move their hair behind their ears. Now, go in for the kiss.^{[8]
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Expert Source

Connell Barrett
Dating Coach

Expert Interview. 24 September 2019.} Slowly move your face towards theirs, coming so close that your lips almost touch but not quite -- this will build suspense. Then, tenderly kiss their lips.
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Feel out the situation. After you have made the first move and kissed your love, wait a few seconds to see how they respond. They may be really into it and start kissing you back, or maybe they are apprehensive. Either way, after you've made the first kiss, let them make the next move.^{[9]
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- If this isn't the first time you have kissed your love, try increasing intimacy levels. Instead of going straight in for the kiss, begin by kissing their cheeks and their brow.^{[10]
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  Expert Source
  
  Connell Barrett
  Dating Coach
  
  Expert Interview. 24 September 2019.} These are tender kisses that will likely get their blood flowing.
- You may want to avoid using tongue on the first kiss to make sure your love is into it. Once you know your love wants to kiss you back, then you can proceed to french kissing.

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How do you kiss someone you love for the first time.

Connell Barrett
Dating Coach
Connell Barrett is a Relationship Expert and the Founder and Executive Coach of Dating Transformation in New York City. Connell has over five years of experience as an international coach who helps men connect with women by unlocking their best, true, most confident selves. He is the author of the Amazon bestseller “Dating Sucks but You Don’t,” and has appeared on Good Morning America, the "Today" show, Access Hollywood, and in Best Life, Cosmopolitan, and The Oprah Magazine. In 2019 he was named Datezie.com's “New York City’s Best Male Dating Coach."

Connell Barrett

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

Look for an opportunity where you're alone and feel comfortable with one another. Maintain deep eye contact with them and wait for a small break in your conversation to lean in for the kiss.

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Make sure that you don't have tons of saliva in your mouth, as that can be a massive turn-off. Instead, be sure to swallow it or spit it out when your partner isn't looking

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