This article was co-authored by Tami Claytor and by wikiHow staff writer, Devin McSween. Tami Claytor is an Etiquette Coach, Image Consultant, and the Owner of Always Appropriate Image and Etiquette Consulting in New York, New York. With over 20 years of experience, Tami specializes in teaching etiquette classes to individuals, students, companies, and community organizations. Tami has spent decades studying cultures through her extensive travels across five continents and has created cultural diversity workshops to promote social justice and cross-cultural awareness. She holds a BA in Economics with a concentration in International Relations from Clark University. Tami studied at the Ophelia DeVore School of Charm and the Fashion Institute of Technology, where she earned her Image Consultant Certification.
There are 16 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page.
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Hugging is a common way to greet and relate to other people, but you might be wondering when it’s okay to embrace an acquaintance, friend, or coworker. Luckily, there are simple ways to tell if it’s okay to hug someone, like asking for their permission or looking for open body language cues. Keep reading to learn when it’s okay to hug a friend, how to tell if it’s okay to hug someone in general, and what considerations to take in the workplace.
Things You Should Know
- Hugs are generally shared with friends and people you’re close to. It’s totally okay to hug your friends when you greet them or to comfort them.
- If you’re unsure about hugging someone, ask if it’s okay to hug them. For instance, ask “Can I hug you,” “Do you want a hug,” or “Are you a hugger?”
- Look for open body language cues before going in to hug someone, like a relaxed posture, eye contact, uncrossed arms, and leaning towards you.
Steps
Community Q&A
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QuestionIs it weird for a guy to hug someone else? Like, if one of my acquaintances is really sad and I want to hug them, can I? Or is it more acceptable for a woman to do so?Community AnswerIt depends on the person and the type of relationship you have with them, but generally this should be avoided with mere acquaintances. Many men are uncomfortable with getting that kind of affection from other men. Meanwhile, women might see it as a crossing of boundaries. Both genders can be uncomfortable with the same thing from a female acquaintance as well, though the discomfort level may be lower due to women generally being expected to be more friendly and nurturing than men (so it's more in line with gender norms and less potentially weird/suspicious).
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QuestionI want to hug my male friend (I am also a guy) but I'm not sure when to ask him. I've known him for over a year and ever since the day I met him I've want to give him a hug so bad but had to work to it, what should I do?Community AnswerMost men have no problem with getting a hug from another guy, especially if it is under the right circumstances. That said, if you are romantically interested in him, you should talk to him about that.
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QuestionI recently had a group of neighbours, all women, over. I greeted each with a hug at my door. What does this say about me?Community AnswerIt says that you are caring, affectionate, and enjoy physical touch. All of this is fine unless someone dislikes being hugged, but they should say so in advance (if they don't, you cannot be responsible for crossing into their space but you'll know next time.)
Tips
References
- ↑ https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/four_ways_hugs_are_good_for_your_health
- ↑ https://health.clevelandclinic.org/why-hugging-is-actually-good-for-your-health-video/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-asymmetric-brain/202206/10-things-make-hug-great
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-asymmetric-brain/202206/10-things-make-hug-great
- ↑ https://www.nsvrc.org/sites/default/files/2018-01/everydayconsent_onepager_508.pdf
- ↑ https://www.antiviolenceproject.org/2019/01/do-you-want-to-hug/
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships-communication/nonverbal-communication.htm
- ↑ https://www.theknot.com/content/receiving-line-etiquette-options-tips
- ↑ https://www.latimes.com/lifestyle/story/2022-11-22/how-to-deal-with-unwanted-hugs
- ↑ https://www.latimes.com/lifestyle/story/2022-11-22/how-to-deal-with-unwanted-hugs
- ↑ https://mabelkwong.com/2014/07/24/when-to-hug-someone-and-why-asians-dont-always-hug/
- ↑ https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2012/sep/02/free-hug-movement-founder
- ↑ https://www.latimes.com/lifestyle/story/2022-11-22/how-to-deal-with-unwanted-hugs
- ↑ https://pairedlife.com/dating/Second-date-tips-for-men-and-women-2nd-date-advice-for-guys-and-girls
- ↑ https://www.npr.org/2021/10/10/1044830174/is-it-still-too-risky-to-hug-we-answer-that-question-and-more
- ↑ Tami Claytor. Etiquette Coach. Expert Interview. 29 September 2020.
- ↑ https://www.cnn.com/2019/07/12/success/hugging-at-work/index.html
- ↑ https://www.etiquettetrainer.com/handshake-or-hug-in-the-office/
- ↑ https://www.etiquettetrainer.com/handshake-or-hug-in-the-office/
- ↑ https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/workplace-hugging-dos-mostly-donts-dan-rust/
- ↑ https://www.cnn.com/2019/07/12/success/hugging-at-work/index.html
- ↑ https://www.cnn.com/2019/07/12/success/hugging-at-work/index.html
- ↑ https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/workplace-hugging-dos-mostly-donts-dan-rust/
- ↑ https://www.etiquettetrainer.com/handshake-or-hug-in-the-office/
- ↑ https://www.cnn.com/2019/07/12/success/hugging-at-work/index.html