How to Meet Gay and Bisexual Men

Co-authored by Imad Jbara

Last Updated: June 4, 2024

The LGBT community is openly growing faster than ever, but it can still be difficult to find gay and bisexual men. Location plays a large role in making that search easier. Unfortunately, relocating isn’t always an option. If you’re looking to meet gay and bisexual men, you can join groups, attend events, and download apps on your phone to put yourself out there.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Downloading Apps

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Download Grindr. Grindr is a free app that you can download straight to your phone. It’s the world’s leading social network app exclusively for gay, bi and curious men. Simply go into your app store and search Grindr. Upload your photos and enter the zip code that you’re looking to find gay and bisexual men in.^{[1]
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- Not only will Grindr help you find gay and bisexual men, but it narrows down guys by asking ways to filter your search.
Grindr Xtra costs $.99 but offers some updates compared to Grindr. Especially if you’re using an iPad, Grindr Xtra is encouraged over Grindr. There was fixes made to prevent crashes and bugs that occurred with Grindr. Also, Grindr Xtra is ad free, so you won’t waste time being distracted by banner ads.

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Lavendr is a free gay dating app that allows you to browse gay men in your local community. It gives you the ability to chat, share location, flirt, and meet with gay and bisexual men. You create a profile and it is open for other users to search even when you’re not using the app. Simply setting up the profile can help gay and bisexual men find you.

Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Surrounding Yourself with LGBT People

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Know the LGBT community in your state. In the last few decades, studies have been dedicated to create maps of demographics of sexual orientation. The studies show that the west coast and the states of New England have the highest percentage of LGBT people. States in the Midwest have a very low percentage. If you are looking to surround yourself with gay and bisexual men, it will be easier to do if you live in a state with a more expansive LGBT community. ^{[2]
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- Highest LGBT community: California, Oregon, Maine, Massachusetts, Nevada, South Dakota, Vermont and Washington
- Lowest LGBT community: Idaho, Mississippi, Montana, North Dakota, Pennsylvania, Tennessee, and Utah
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Go into the city. Cities have higher percentages of LGBT people than rural areas. Taking a trip into a major city will heighten your chances of finding gay and bisexual men. Atlanta, Boston, San Francisco, and Seattle are the cities with the highest percentage of LGBT people.^{[3]
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- If you're unable to go to a big city you can still meet gay guys in a small town.
Gay villages are areas, typically in a large city, that are recognized with a selection of bars, restaurants, festivals, and attractions that cater to gay and bisexuals. The best way to find these is simply by word of mouth. You can also use gay neighborhood websites, or you can ask a realtor who knows the area.

Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Attending Events

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Find LGBT events. Getting in contact with the LGBT center in your community (if you have one) is going to be the fastest way to find LGBT events. They have a calendar of events, and give you the option to host events.
- If you live in New York City, the LGBT Community Center has a calendar of events. Even if you don’t live in the city, they can suggest venues and reasons to host your own event. They can provide a Meeting & Conference Services team that will further help you in your event planning.^{[4]
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Check out a Grindr event. If you don’t live in New York, you can still find pre-planned events. Grinder regularly hosts prides, parties, and events. You can find the events along the bottom of your app screen.
- Also look at the ad banners when you log in. They ads are specifically designed for Grindr and focus on the demographic that you’re looking for. Clubs and bars that advertise on Grindr are a great way to meet gay and bisexual men.
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Attend a national event. Prides have been growing every year. The most popular one is in Provincetown, MA. This is their Carnival week and typically happens in late August. Anytime you visit PTown, there is likely to be an event. Even if there isn’t, the town is nationally recognized as one of the most popular resorts among gay travelers and you will have no trouble meeting gay and bisexual men.
- Reader Poll: We asked 694 wikiHow readers how to support a friend questioning their sexuality, and 8% said they would offer to take them to LGBTQ+ events or groups. [Take Poll] While this may not be the best strategy according to our readers, just be yourself! If your friend wants to talk to you about their feelings, listen attentively and ask how you can help.

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Question

How can you find LGBTQ+ women?

Lauren Sanders
Matchmaker & Dating Coach
Lauren Sanders is a Professional Matchmaker, Dating Coach, and the Founder of Dating for the Soul. With over four years of experience, she specializes in helping singles find love. Lauren is also the author of Lipstick Faith: A Collection of Inspirational Writings and Life Lessons, You Deserve the World, Rainbows and Strawberries: 100 Devotions for the Brighter Side of Life, and Let's Go Outside Mommy. Lauren holds BS from Dillard University and a Masters from The University of North Georgia.

Lauren Sanders

Matchmaker & Dating Coach

Expert Answer

One of the best ways is via LGBTQ+-centered dating apps. However, you can also try meetup groups on meetup.com, LGBTQ+ nightclubs, LGBTQ+ Facebook groups, LGBTQ+ matchmaking services, and LGBTQ+ events such as different Pride weekends in different cities.

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Question

I have ED, but I still want the attention of a bi man. Can I still find someone who will be interested in me?

Community Answer

Yes, you can find someone who will be interested in you despite your ED.

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How do I find a bisexual guy if I'm a woman?

Community Answer

You can follow most of the steps in this article the same, but I would recommend signing up for some dating websites and filtering your matches by sexuality in order to only see your bisexual matches.

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