How to Not Be a Cry Baby

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1 Dealing With Emotions in the Short Term

2 Managing Stress and Emotions in the Long Term

3 Identifying the Cause of Your Tears

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Tips and Warnings

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Co-authored by Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS

Last Updated: September 20, 2024 Approved

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When someone calls you a "cry baby," they're usually saying that you're not in control of your emotions, or you become upset without a good reason. This isn't a nice thing to say to someone, but don't worry: you can learn to manage your emotions more effectively. When you're overwhelmed, it can be easy to break down and want to cry. However, you can learn some techniques to diffuse your emotion, both in the short and long term. If you are extra emotional all the time, you might also want to look for a deeper cause.

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Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Dealing With Emotions in the Short Term

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1. 1
   Take a moment to breathe. Instead of focusing on what's bothering you, take some time to focus on only your breathing. Close your eyes, and count to four as you breathe in. Count to four again as you breathe out. Place all your concentration on your breathing rather than your problem.

   • Put your hand on your belly. You should feel your stomach expand as you breathe in. This is called diaphragmatic breathing, and it helps you calm down.
2. 2
   Talk with someone. Whether it's a friend or family member, taking a minute to talk about what's bothering you can help defuse the situation. It can also help you figure out what's actually bothering you.

   • Talk to someone you trust. It can be difficult to say you're having a hard time if you're worried the person will judge you or make fun of you. Find a trusted friend, family member, teacher, or counselor to share your thoughts with.
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3. 3
   Step away. Sometimes, all it takes to make your tears disappear is to step away from the problem. If you can, try going outside for a few minutes to truly get away. Plus, being outside can help lower your tension.

   • Tell the people you're with what you're doing, if you'd like. You can say something such as "I need to take a break right now. I'll be back in five minutes."
4. 4
   Take a mental break. If you can't physically step away, try mentally refocusing. Think about something that made you very happy. You can think of a person and the happy memories you had with her. Alternatively, try thinking about your favorite vacation. Focus fully on that thought for several minutes, trying to draw up as many details of the memory as you can.
5. 5
   Identify what emotion is triggering your tears. Take a moment to think about what you're actually feeling. Are you angry? Are you sad? Are you actually feeling joy? Many emotions can trigger tears, and by beginning to identify them, you can head off the tears more easily as you are better able to notice when the emotion is beginning.

   • Notice what's going on in your body. For example, anger may make you frown, feel red or hot, or make your muscles feel tense. Sadness can make you feel "down" or "slow."
6. 6
   Don't berate yourself. You have a right to have emotions. Tears are a sign of those emotions. If you find yourself tearing up, don't start beating yourself up; you'll only make yourself more upset, and it won't help the situation.

   • Instead, try being accepting of yourself. For example, if you feel angry, tell yourself, "I feel angry right now. That's a natural emotion. It's okay to feel that way, but I can control my response to that feeling. I don't have to cry."
7. 7
   Use positive thinking. It can really hurt when people are unkind to you. This can cause tears to show up. Remember to examine what people have said to you in a way that's kind to yourself.

   • For example, if someone has made fun of your new haircut, it would be natural to feel angry or hurt. Try reminding yourself that others' opinions of you don't matter; what matters is how you feel about yourself. You could say, "I feel hurt that my friend made fun of my haircut, but I like it. I don't have to feel bad that someone else doesn't like it."
   • Tell yourself nice things in the mirror every morning. This will help build up your self-confidence, which can help you keep those tears in check. You're strong and smart, and you can do this!
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Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Managing Stress and Emotions in the Long Term

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1. 1
   Learn to say no. Sometimes, stress and too much emotion can simply come from stretching yourself too thin. Learn to say no to some of your commitments so you can fully commit to the other ones.

   • The best way to say "no" is to just keep it simple. That is, don't offer explanations, just say "No, I'm sorry, I can't do that." You don't have to justify why you don't have the time to commit to something.
   • You don't have to say no all the way. For instance, if someone asks you to bake cupcakes for a bake sale, you could say that you don't have the time to bake them, but you would be willing to buy some if that was acceptable.
2. 2
   Practice time management. Don't let a list of tasks overwhelm you. Make a plan to get things done. Start with what's most important, and schedule time to get it done. Once you've started completing items on your list, you'll feel stress start to melt off.
3. 3
   Take some time each day to write. Writing in a journal about what you're feeling can be very cathartic. Over time, it can also help you learn what makes you upset, which can take some of the sting out of the situation.

   • If you don't know where to begin, ask yourself what moments you enjoyed and what moments you didn't enjoy in your day. Look at what emotions contributed to each situation.
4. 4
   Try meditation. Meditation can be as simple as learning to listen to your breathing. It's taking a step back from the world, taking your focus from your stress and relaxing your body.

   • For instance, one type of meditation involves repeating a mantra over and over. A mantra is a short word or phrase that helps focus the mind, such as "om." However, your mantra can be whatever you want. Concentrate on letting your thoughts go, concentrating on repeating that phrase over and over.
5. 5
   Try a repetitive hobby. Hobbies such as knitting or even solving jigsaw puzzles help you step away from your emotions. They are like meditation in that way, helping you clear your mind.
6. 6
   Exercise often. Exercise is a great way to manage stress. For one, you get lost in the motion, and it becomes a form of meditation, helping you forget what's wrong. In addition, it ups your endorphins, which make you feel better about life. Aim for 150 minutes of aerobic activity a week, if you're exercising moderately.

   • Make sure to incorporate other self-care practices like getting enough sleep, eating well, and doing calming or meditative activities.
   • Reader Poll: We asked 171 wikiHow readers and 52% of them agreed that getting 7-9 hours of sleep a night is the best self-care activity for taking care of their physical and mental health. [Take Poll]
7. 7
   Confront your friends. Sometimes, it's not you. Sometimes, it's the people you hang out with. The next time you find yourself in a situation where someone makes you feel hurt, tell that person. You can't make the situation better if you don't say something.

   • It may be hard to get the words out, but the words don't need to be anything special. All you have to say is, "What you [did or said] hurt me, and I would appreciate it if you don't do it again."
8. 8
   Surround yourself with better people. If you're constantly feeling put-down by the people around you, you may need to get new friends. Of course, give the people around you a chance to change. However, if they repeatedly hurt you, maybe it's time to find some new friends.
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Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Identifying the Cause of Your Tears

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1. 1
   Determine whether you are being bullied. Bullies, whether at school, work, or the playground, can make you feel like crying. Fortunately, there are people you can turn to for help if you're being bullied. These are all signs of bullying:

   • Someone uses his or her power over you to control or hurt you. For example, a much larger kid at school pushes you around, or someone uses personal information about you to get you to do things you don't want to do.
   • A bully might also isolate you from friends or keep you from getting to do things at school.
   • Bullying can be physical, verbal, or social. Physical bullying includes things like hitting, pushing, and tripping. Verbal bullying includes things like teasing and name-calling. Social bullying includes things like leaving you out of things, telling other kids not to be friends with you, and intentionally embarrassing you.
   • If these things happen to you on a regular basis, you may be being bullied.
   • Talk to a trusted parent, teacher, or counselor for help. Don't try to confront the bully yourself; you could put yourself in danger.
   • Even your "friends" can bully you. Good friends will be kind and supportive. Teasing will be playful, not malicious, and real friends will stop teasing if you ask them to. If you generally feel bad when hanging out with your friends, it may be a sign that they aren't really your friends.
2. 2
   Push deeper. Sometimes, your surface emotions are covering up something much deeper. Push to see if some other emotion is below, and what is causing that emotion. Maybe you're crying at school when someone criticizes you, but what's really bothering you is something to do with your boyfriend or girlfriend. If you can figure out what's really bothering you, you can take steps to improve the situation, such as having a serious discussion with the person.
3. 3
   Look for signs of stress. Being stressed can cause you to feel more emotions and act out on them more. For instance, you may find yourself feeling more anxious or irritable, and you may find yourself crying more often.

   • You might also be more anxious in general and find yourself getting angry at people more easily.
   • You could also have physical symptoms, such as not being able to sleep well, having headaches, feeling extra tired, and being more susceptible to sickness.
4. 4
   Pay attention to your cycle. If you're a woman, your tears could be related to your menstrual cycle. Some women experience premenstrual syndrome, which can start a week or two before your period. It's most likely related to hormones. This syndrome can cause you to feel emotionally unbalanced while it is going on, including inducing more tears.
5. 5
   Watch for deeper causes. Uncontrollable emotions, especially if they are constant, could be a sign of something a little more serious. For instance, it's possible you could be clinically depressed or have an anxiety disorder.

   • If you feel like you cry too much and you have other symptoms for long periods of time, talk to a doctor about it. Symptoms that could be more serious include pervasive anxiety, constantly feeling afraid or like something bad is going to happen, feeling detached from life, feeling continually sad, or always feeling bad about yourself.
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Tips from our Readers

The advice in this section is based on the lived experiences of wikiHow readers like you. If you have a helpful tip you’d like to share on wikiHow, please submit it in the field below.

• If you're on the brink of tears, think about something funny, random, or positive. Focusing on what you're going to eat for dinner or your plans for the weekend can stop you from crying.
• If you have a huge lump in your throat, don't be afraid to go to a quiet place and cry. Make up an excuse, like saying you don't feel well, and step away from the other person.
• Distract yourself from whatever is making you sad. I like to read a book or watch a movie to lift my spirits!

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