This article was co-authored by Lena Dicken, Psy.D and by wikiHow staff writer, Bailey Cho. Dr. Lena Dicken is a Clinical Psychologist based in Santa Monica, California. With over eight years of experience, Dr. Dicken specializes in therapy for anxiety, depression, life transitions, and relationship difficulties. She utilizes an integrative approach combining Psychodynamic, Cognitive Behavioral, and Mindfulness-based therapies. Dr. Dicken holds a BS in Integrative Medicine from the University of Hawaii at Manoa, an MA in Counseling Psychology from Argosy University Los Angeles, and a Doctor of Psychology (Psy.D) in Clinical Psychology from the Chicago School of Professional Psychology at Westwood. Dr. Dicken’s work has been featured in GOOP, The Chalkboard Magazine, and in numerous other articles and podcasts. She is a licensed psychologist with the state of California.
There are 15 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page.
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While it’s perfectly normal to cry when someone yells at you, it can be embarrassing if you’re at work, school, or in public. Crying is a natural response to stressful triggers, but is there a way to understand and control your behavior? In this article, we’ll explain why you might cry more easily than others and how you can keep your emotions (and tears) in check. We’ll also teach you a few tips on how to compose yourself after a good cry, as well as techniques to handle conflict more effectively.
Things You Should Know
- You might cry when someone yells at you because you feel angry, fearful, stressed, or upset.
- If you’re a highly sensitive person, you may cry more easily than others because you process your emotions at a deeper level.
- Hold back tears by pinching yourself, thinking of something funny, or taking deep breaths.
Steps
Composing Yourself
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Let out your emotions in a private place. Head to your car, a restroom, or somewhere else you won’t be bothered. Give yourself all the time you need until you feel calm so you can properly regroup and move forward.[14]
- If you try to stop a crying session halfway through, you’re more likely to start up again later.
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Dab ice or cold water over your eyes to combat swelling. When you cry, blood rushes to your eyes, making them appear red and puffy. Treat puffy eyes by wrapping an ice cube in a clean paper towel, then gently pressing it over your eyes.[15]
- If you’re at work or a public place, head to the bathroom and splash your face with cold water, or wet paper towels in cold water and press them under your eyes to preserve your makeup as much as possible.
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Put in eye drops to get rid of any remaining redness. If you have any type of eye drops on hand, put 1-2 drops in each eye to hide that you’ve been crying. Carefully follow the directions of your specific product so you don’t overuse it, and make sure it’s safe to use with contacts (if you wear them). In 10-15 minutes, your eyes will look clear.[16]
- If you’re a frequent crier, do not use redness-relieving eye drops (also known as antihistamine or decongestant eye drops) too often—they can make your eyes drier over time. Stick to 1-2 drops in each eye up to 4 times a day, up to a 72 hour time frame.[17]
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Fix your makeup to restore your appearance. If you wear makeup, take a minute to touch it up. Wipe off runny makeup with a clean tissue or damp towel, and use concealer to cover red, blotchy areas. Finish up by reapplying your mascara, blush, or anything else that didn’t make it through your cry.[18]
- If you cry often, keep a small emergency makeup stash in your desk or purse so you can touch up anytime.
Expert Q&A
Video
Tips
References
- ↑ https://hbr.org/2022/01/so-you-cried-at-work
- ↑ https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/is-crying-good-for-you-2021030122020
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-secret-lives-introverts/201808/14-things-highly-sensitive-people-need-happiness
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/highly-sensitive-person
- ↑ https://www.nami.org/Blogs/NAMI-Blog/February-2018/The-Problem-with-Yelling
- ↑ https://www.apa.org/monitor/2014/02/cry
- ↑ https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/22673-hormonal-imbalance
- ↑ https://www.thecut.com/2015/02/how-to-stop-yourself-from-crying.html
- ↑ https://goaskalice.columbia.edu/answered-questions/crying-during-conflict/
- ↑ https://hbr.org/2022/01/so-you-cried-at-work
- ↑ https://goaskalice.columbia.edu/answered-questions/crying-during-conflict/
- ↑ https://hbr.org/2022/01/so-you-cried-at-work
- ↑ https://hbr.org/2022/01/so-you-cried-at-work
- ↑ https://www.rookiemag.com/2012/03/how-to-look-like-you-werent-just-crying-in-less-than-five-minutes/
- ↑ https://www.nytimes.com/2018/10/14/well/mind/how-to-stop-yourself-from-crying.html
- ↑ https://www.aao.org/eye-health/treatments/redness-relieving-eye-drops
- ↑ https://www.aaaai.org/tools-for-the-public/drug-guide/eye-drops#
- ↑ https://www.cosmopolitan.com/style-beauty/beauty/advice/a40323/ways-to-cover-up-youve-been-crying/
- ↑ https://hbr.org/2022/01/so-you-cried-at-work
- ↑ https://goaskalice.columbia.edu/answered-questions/crying-during-conflict/
- ↑ https://hbr.org/2022/01/so-you-cried-at-work
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/stress/stress-management.htm
- ↑ https://hbr.org/2022/01/so-you-cried-at-work
About This Article
Crying can be a natural response when someone yells at you, but if you want to stop the tears, focus on something else to distract yourself. Try taking some deep breaths and concentrating on the sensation of breathing, which can help distract you from your emotions. Look away from the person yelling at you, like at your desk, your hands, or the floor, so you’re not looking at their angry face. If that doesn’t work, pinch yourself somewhere sensitive, like the skin between your fingers or the inside of your arm. The pain can distract you from crying. If you can leave the situation after they’ve yelled at you, head to a restroom or outside so you can calm down. For more tips from our co-author, including how to stop crying so easily in the long term, read on.
Reader Success Stories
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"Thank you so much for this article. Honestly, when I start crying like that I just can't stop until a while goes by and my eyes get all puffed up and my nose gets all stuffy. But yeah, this article really helped me with that and also helped many others. Thanks again!"..." more