This article was co-authored by Wes Pinkston. Wes Pinkston is a Certified Holistic Life Coach and the Founder of Wes Pinkston Life Coaching. With more than five years of experience, he specializes in helping people achieve greater fulfillment and understand their full potential. He received his Holistic Lifestyle Coach Certification from The CHEK Institute.
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Chatting addiction, which is the addiction to talking to people online, is not yet widely studied in the field of psychology. However, many people become compulsive when it comes to the need for online interactions. Online chatting becomes addictive when it reaches the point that it affects your ability to function in day-to-day life. As internet addiction often stems from emotional issues, work on better managing your feelings. From there, make a conscious effort to stay off the internet. You should also look into seeking outside help. A qualified therapist can really help you curb your chatting addiction.
Steps
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Keep a journal. Oftentimes, you do not realize how much something is becoming a problem until you document it. Start keeping a journal about the time you spend online. Track how long you're on the internet each day, as well as how the time you spend online affects you emotionally.
- A journal can help keep you accountable. You'll be able to face how much time you spend chatting online if you track it. Get a small notebook and record when you get on the internet and when you get off the internet.
- Tracking your internet time can also help you see how damaging chatting addiction is to your wellbeing. Record how you feel about being online all the time. You likely experience negative, guilty feelings about your chatting habits. If you face these feelings honestly, you'll be able to accept how damaging your addiction is. This can motivate you to quit.
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Identify your triggers. Try to keep track of when and why you feel the urge to chat online. All addicts have certain triggers that cause them to pick up a bad habit. Spend about a week identifying the factors that push you towards online chatting.[1]
- How are you feeling when you experience the urge to chat online? Do you feel lonely and bored? Restless? Anxious about something? A variety of emotions can encourage a person to chat compulsively.
- For many people, internet use is a way of self soothing. If you're going through a rough time emotionally, or have an underlying disorder like depression, you may be more inclined to chat online. Try to keep in mind there are vastly healthier ways than the internet to deal with emotional issues.
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Find healthier ways to channel your emotions. If online chatting is becoming a problem, you need to find healthier ways to cope. Find routes to channel your emotion that do not involve the internet.[2]
- You may be chronically shy by nature, which can cause you to struggle with opening up to others. This can fuel loneliness, which results in excessive online chatting. Try to push yourself out of your comfort zone a little each day. Make plans with a work acquaintance. Make small talk with a barista at a coffee shop.
- If you're feeling stressed, try to find a healthy activity instead of the internet. Exercise can help reduce stress, as can activities like yoga, deep breathing, and meditation.
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Recognize underlying issues. Addiction rarely happens without warning. If you have an online chatting addiction, try to figure out what underlying stressors may be fueling your need for constant online contact.[3]
- Have you struggled with other addictions in the past? If you've had issues with drugs or alcohol, you may have developed an online chatting addiction to cope. Oftentimes, addicts replace one addiction with another.
- You may also have an underlying mental illness. If you've struggled with depression, anxiety, or other troublesome issues in the past, this may be contributing to your chatting addiction.
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Talk to others who struggle with addiction. You are not alone. Many people struggle with some form of internet addiction. If you do not know someone who has a chatting addiction specifically, you may know someone who's addicted to their smart phone or something like Facebook. Reach out to others who struggle with some form of internet addiction for support.[4]
- You can work with other addicts to hold one another accountable. You can all agree to get together for internet and smart phone free time.
- Share progress with other addicts. You can all help each other be more accountable for your actions. For example, you can try to compete with one another in terms of taking computer breaks. Try offering a small prize for whoever can stay offline longest.
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Set goals for yourself. Most people cannot quit chatting cold turkey. As you strive to get away from the internet, set small and reasonable goals for yourself.[5]
- Try to schedule when you can go online. For example, set aside two hours in the early evening for internet chatting. Only go online for those hours and stay away from your computer or phone otherwise.
- You may need some help at first. If you're an addict, it may be hard to cap your time at a certain number of hours. You can look into applications that can block websites during certain hours of the day. You can also have a family member help you power down your computer or laptop after a certain amount of time.
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Find ways to make it harder for yourself to access the internet. You can make small changes to your home to make it harder for you to get online. For example, never take a smart phone or tablet to bed with you. Turn your computer or laptop off instead of putting it into sleep mode. Store your laptop in a hard-to-reach place when you're not using it. If it's out of site, it may be easier to forget about the urge to chat online.[6]
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Exercise. Exercise can help curb a variety of addictions and may be beneficial for chatting addiction. Aerobic exercise can help keep feelings of depression, which often fuel addiction, away. Exercise can also provide a distraction that will keep you off the internet.
- Schedule workout time a few times a week. Incorporate a workout into your routine the way you would incorporate something like brushing your teeth.
- Pick a form of exercise you like, as you'll be more likely to stick to it. If you hate running, do not expect to do a nightly jog. Instead, try something you enjoy, like riding your bike or swimming.
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Read. Internet addiction is sometimes driven by escapism. A good book can provide an alternative to talking to strangers online. Take out a library card, make a trip to your local bookstore, or browse titles online or on an electronic reader.
- Choose a genre that you enjoy. If you don't read much, think about your taste in TV and movies. If you love true crime shows, you may enjoy detective novels.
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Find a variety of distractions. It's easy to stay offline if you have a lot to do over the course of a day. There are a variety of hobbies you can take up that will keep you off the internet.
- Try something like crafting, gardening, crossword puzzles, or Sudoku.
- Get involved in your community. Volunteer for an organization you care about.
- If you have pets, invest time in them. Play with your cat each night. Take your dog for a walk.
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Limit phone checks. You may chat heavily on your smart phone. Work on limiting the amount of times per day that you check your phone.[7]
- Make rules for yourself regarding smart phone use. For example, do not allow yourself to check your phone in social settings. Only allow yourself one phone check per two hours while working. You could also set a timer for yourself so you only use it for a specific amount of time.[8]
- Leave your phone when you do certain activities. Keep your phone at home when you run to the store or go take a walk.
- You can think about temporarily transitioning to a phone that does not have internet access. This way, you'll cut out one means of access to online chatting.
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Find a therapist. If you're struggling with addiction of any kind, a therapist is necessary. If you have chatting addiction, you may have an underlying mental illness that's triggering your need to go online as a form of self soothing. Seek out a therapist if you have a chatting addiction.
- You can ask your regular doctor for a referral to a therapist in your area. Make sure you look for someone who specializes in addiction and recovery. You can also find a list of providers through your insurance. If you're a student, you may be entitled to free counseling on behalf of your university.
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Try cognitive behavioral therapy. The types of therapy for chatting addiction vary. Oftentimes, cognitive behavioral therapy is very effective in treating addictive behavior. CBT teaches you healthy ways of coping with uncomfortable emotions like fear and anxiety. It also forces you to actively consider your thought patterns so you can recognize modes of thinking that lead you to online chatting.[9]
- You can see what kind of therapy a psychiatrist or therapist uses by browsing his or her website. You can also call the office and ask. Many therapists use CBT to treat addictive behaviors.
- You may be given homework during CBT. For example, you may be asked to write down your troubling thoughts for a week. Make sure to take your homework seriously, as it's important in addressing and treating your addiction.
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See a marriage or relationship counselor. Sometimes, chatting addiction takes the form of flirtatious behavior online. You may, for example, engage in cybersex with strangers. If you're married, or in a committed relationship, this can cause strain. You can contact a marriage or relationship counselor to help you work through the addiction.[10]
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Make real life connections. It can help to strengthen the connections you have in real life. This will eliminate the need to go online. You can make plans with your real friends, reach out to family members, and try getting involved more in your community.
- Try joining clubs. If there are any organizations that host meetings regularly, start attending. This will help you make more real life friends.
- Reach out to people you haven't seen in awhile. If you only see a friend a couple of times a month, try to have more frequent interactions.
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Ask for assistance from household members. You'll need support at home for your chatting addiction. Ask household members to help you curb your time online by discouraging you from using the internet. You can request things like weekly game nights and other activities to help give you an alternative to going online.
- If you could use some help talking to your family members, consider attending a counseling session together. A therapist can help you navigate the conversation, and they can answer questions your family might have.[11]
Expert Q&A
Tips
References
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/addictions/smartphone-addiction.htm
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/addictions/smartphone-addiction.htm
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/addictions/smartphone-addiction.htm
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/addictions/smartphone-addiction.htm
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/addictions/smartphone-addiction.htm
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/addictions/smartphone-addiction.htm
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/addictions/smartphone-addiction.htm
- ↑ Wes Pinkston. Certified Holistic Life Coach. Expert Interview. 18 January 2022.
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/addictions/smartphone-addiction.htm
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/addictions/smartphone-addiction.htm
- ↑ Tiffany Douglass, MA. Founder, Wellness Retreat Recovery Center. Expert Interview. 10 March 2020.