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Question

How do you show someone your support?

Hyungbum Kang, MA, MSW, LCSW, MAC
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Hyungbum Kang is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker based in Honolulu, Hawaii. With over a decade of experience, Hyungbum specializes in using an integrated therapeutic approach to treat ADHD, anger management, depression, and other mental health and social work struggles. He received a Bachelor’s degree in English and Master’s degrees in Sociology and Social Work. Hyungbum earned an MBA from Hawaii Pacific University (HPU) and is working on his Doctor of Psychology from HPU. He is a member of the American Psychological Association, the International Honor Society in Psychology, the National Association of Social Workers, and the California Consortium of Addiction Programs and Professionals.

Hyungbum Kang, MA, MSW, LCSW, MAC

Licensed Clinical Social Worker

Expert Answer

Find out why your friend is feeling upset first. Then, say something supportive and empathetic, like "I understand that you are upset."

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Question

How do I console a friend I accidentally hurt?

Community Answer

Accept your mistake. Yes, if they are very angry at you then maybe, then there is no time for reasoning and console instead. If he/she is your best friend, they are likely to quickly understand and make up with you. But, if they don't, just try convincing them, that you'll not do what you did twice and showing them as much love and trying to make them laugh. They will eventually come around, if its a genuine apology from your side.

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Question

How do I cheer up a friend that is sad and won't tell me why?

Community Answer

Let your friend know you are there for him and ask if he wants to spend time together. Don't push him to tell you what is wrong. Just volunteer to hang out and have fun together.

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Question

How can I comfort a friend who is the opposite gender?

Community Answer

The same way you would if you were the same gender, you are no different. They still need a friend.

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Question

How would you tell someone that it is going to be okay when they are being used?

Community Answer

It's not going to be okay if they continue on with the toxic relationship, and it would be wrong to say that. You need to encourage them to get out of that relationship/situation. You can tell them that they will get out of this and will be okay, and that you are there to help and support them.

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Question

What if it's an internet friend and I can't do anything in person?

Community Answer

Even if you can't be there physically, a nice Skype chat can help. Still use eye contact and the other conversation methods depicted here. Even knowing somebody is willing/wanting to help means more than if you're not doing anything.

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Question

What if the person doesn't know why he's upset?

Tom De Backer

Top Answerer

Being upset and knowing why are two different things. Someone could be upset because of a loss, or because of a fear, for example. But the way to console people is the same. Listen, hug, be there, provide some calm and comfort. Even if he doesn't know why he's upset, it's still the same method.

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Question

What should I do if my friend is angry but won't tell me why?

Community Answer

Tell your friend that you are there for her when she is ready to talk. If you are concerned there is a major problem, discreetly ask a guidance counselor or trusted adult to check in with your friend and make sure she is okay.

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Question

How can I comfort a friend after a breakup?

Community Answer

Just listening to your friend. If she is are crying, don't tell her to stop crying. Just hold her and rub her back. If she starts to settle down, try cracking a joke.

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Question

My casual friend was upset when I saw him the first time; how can I check on him or what can I say to him?

Community Answer

You should first try politely asking about the matter. If he sees you as good friend, then he will share his problem, it is up to him.

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Question

What do I do if my close friend won't tell me what's wrong and is rude whenever I ask what's wrong or tell her I am there for her?

Community Answer

Give her some time and space. She may tell you on her own or you may never know what is bothering her. She could have a headache or not feel particularly peachy. She might be angry at a different person or have had a horrible day. Let her deal with whatever it is her own way.

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Question

If my friend is being bullied, should I go find the bully and tell him to leave my friend alone?

Community Answer

Look through this article on wikiHow for advice on how to help your friend with a bully.

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Question

My friend has some seriously troubling things going on, but the only way we can talk right now is via text and I don't know how to say anything comforting. What do I do?

Community Answer

It is good for your friend to know that you are there for them. You can say things like, "I am here to help" or just say "I am here for you."

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Question

What do I do if my friend is upset by something, but I'm a quiet person who doesn't like talking?

Community Answer

Actions speak louder than words, so even if you can't say the right thing, you can always show them you are there for them.

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Question

My friend is sad because one of her closest friends is ignoring and judging her. What should I do?

Community Answer

Commiserate with her: let her know you understand what she's going through and are there to listen. Then, advise her as best you can. You might suggest that she approach this friend and talk about how she's feeling.

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Question

What if my friend is jealous of me, so she's trying to make me jealous and she's making me cry?

Community Answer

If your "friend" is upsetting you that much, it's probably a good idea to spend some time apart. Tell her that she has hurt your feelings and you need some space.

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Question

What should I do if my best friend is really upset?

Community Answer

Let them vent, be there and listen really carefully. Don't try to solve the problem and try to distract them, but do not necessarily make them laugh. A long time to recover may be needed.

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Question

How can I help my friend if she just got in a fight with another one of my friends?

Community Answer

Get both of their stories to see what the issue is, most of the time it's miscommunication. Suggest to both of them that they try to talk it out with the other person. Don't take sides, and don't allow yourself to get too wrapped up in their drama. You can be there to listen to both of them, but they will ultimately have to work things out for themselves.

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Question

What do I do if my friend doesn't like being touched or talked to when they're upset?

Community Answer

Well, your friend is obviously upset and may need some time to him/herself. Of course, don't pressure them; it would make matters far worse. You might want to try joking with them and trying to make them smile. Otherwise, ask them directly what they find helpful when they're upset.

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Question

My BFF fell in love with my cousin and he hates her. She is upset because no one wants her as a girlfriend and is bullied. What should I do?

Emily C

Community Answer

Tell her that she doesn't need a boyfriend to feel happy, and that people bully her because they are jealous and want to make themselves feel better. A good idea would be to make her something that will make her happy. You could gather all her friends to write something they like about her, and put it into a book. You could do the same thing, except only you write it.

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Question

How should I make my friend feel better in the situation if one of his relatives is dead?

Community Answer

Just be there and listen. Don't try to make your friend laugh, but just talk to your friend about something else. If your friend needs to be left alone, just let your friend do it.

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Question

How can I comfort a friend who is angry and later feels regret about becoming angry?

Community Answer

Tell them that it's normal to get angry, and that everybody makes mistakes. If he lashed out at you or somebody else in anger, tell him that he can learn from this experience and try to channel his anger more productively in the future.

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Question

How do I help my friend? He is having a breakdown right in front of me, and I don't know what to say or do.

Holly

Community Answer

Put your arm around him. Ask him directly what could you do to help. If you can't do what he wants you to do to help, ask him if you can do something similar.

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Question

What should I do if I upset my sister more than twice and she just wants to be alone?

Community Answer

Give her some time to cool off. She is family, she will come around.

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Question

How do I comfort an upset friend?

Michelle Falco

Community Answer

Just listen and ask what can you do to help. Let the friend know you're there for her and that she's not alone.

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Question

My friend feels like the whole world is turning on her and feels like everyone hates her except for me and her dog. I want to be there for her. What should I say?

Community Answer

Try to encourage her and tell her that there are people out there who love her, and that she is an amazing person. Make her a card or give her a little gift to help her feel extra special.

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Question

What if the person is not my friend?

Community Answer

Be nice to them. If they're not your friend, but they seem to want attention, try to be nice and let them down easily. Say something like, "I hope things get better, I'm sorry, I have to go."

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Question

How do I care for someone who withdraws from me?

Community Answer

Dont follow this person around and pester him. Just give him space -- when he's ready to talk, he'll let you know. Aside from that, pray for your friend. God knows what he needs.

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Question

What do I do if isn't sharing his problem with me and giving me the silent treatment?

Community Answer

He might need some alone time. Check up on him later, or tell him you're available if he needs to talk, and he will reach out to you when he's ready.

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Question

My friend is saying she's going to kill herself. I care about her a lot. What should I do?

Community Answer

Talk to an adult, a parent or a teacher, and let them know what is going on.

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