30 Signs Your Boss Likes You Romantically, Plus What to Do about It

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Tell if your boss is hiding their crush with these tell-tale signals

Co-authored by Jeffrey Fermin and Hunter Rising

Last Updated: November 24, 2024 Fact Checked

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Signs Your Boss Secretly Likes You

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How to Respond

While office romances happen frequently, your boss may try hiding their romantic feelings from you to maintain a professional work environment. Even if your boss keeps their feelings secret, there are some easy signals to look out for that show their true emotions. Whether your boss’s advances make you uncomfortable or if the feeling is mutual, it’s important to keep in mind any repercussions that could happen if things don’t work out. Keep reading to learn all of the signs your boss likes you and how to respond to whether or not you want a relationship.

Section 1 of 2:

Signs Your Boss Secretly Likes You

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They give you preferential treatment. If your boss selects you over your other coworkers for a task even if you aren’t as qualified, it may be a sign that they’re interested in you romantically. When they’re letting you have the best opportunities and giving you responsibilities that aren’t even offered to your colleagues, your boss may be trying to get on your good side with the extra attention.^{[1]
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- Consider if the responsibilities or opportunities are actually related to your professional work and if you’re qualified for them. Your boss may just be recognizing your talents instead of showing their interest.
Before they make a decision, your boss may tell you they value your opinion and ask for your advice. If they don’t reach out to other coworkers or colleagues for the same advice, then it may be a sign that they’re interested in you romantically.^{[2]
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They protect you from negative consequences at work. When your boss has feelings for you, they may go above and beyond to shield you from any negative criticism or take the blame for your mistakes. Because bosses usually aren’t that self-sacrificial or attentive toward their employees, these gestures may be an attempt to show how much they care about you.^{[3]
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- Pay attention to whether or not they act the same around all your coworkers. If they’re protecting everyone from negativity, they may be trying to give everyone a positive experience rather than flirting.
When your boss has romantic feelings toward you, they may say you’ll quickly move up the career ladder. They may bring up your name to their higher-ups more than your coworkers or tell you that they’re doing a lot of work for you to make advances in the company. Your boss may think this treatment will make you like them back because they’re focusing on your potential.^{[4]
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They schedule frequent one-on-one meetings with you. If your boss asks to meet with you alone more often but you aren’t discussing anything work-related, they may be coming up with excuses to spend more time with you. You may even be asked to meetings where you don’t have any input to give just so your boss has a reason to talk with you afterward.^{[5]
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- Your boss may also ask you to work late with them if they’re attracted to you and want more time together.
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They invite you to meet for drinks or dinner outside of work. If your boss asks you out for dinner or drinks but doesn’t discuss it with your colleagues, they may be hinting that they secretly like you and want to build a connection. They may pretend that they want to discuss work-related topics, but instead, they may be trying to plan it out as a date.^{[6]
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- If your boss is offering to take all of your coworkers, then they may not have an interest in you. If you end up going out with your boss and coworkers, take notice if they try talking to you more often than your colleagues.
Many people form natural bonds with their bosses over time as they get to know each other. When your boss tries to bond with you by making inside jokes or playful banter even when you’re not reciprocating, they may have a crush and want to spend more time with you.^{[7]
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They confide in you about personal issues. Rather than talking about work when you’re chatting with your boss, they may dive into their personal details. They may bring up their home life, if they’re lonely, or any other personal issues that they’re dealing with so you learn more about them and hopefully develop feelings for them.^{[8]
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- If you’re feeling uncomfortable with what your boss is opening up about, then just act bored or mention that you have an important task to finish to end the conversation.
If your boss suddenly shows more interest in you and wants to know all about your hobbies, interests, and relationships outside of work, they may be flirting with you. They want to feel like they’re building a connection with you so they can test the waters to see if you’d be a good match for them.^{[9]
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When your boss reaches out to other friends you have in the office, they may be trying to dig into your personal life and learn more about you. If your coworkers tell you that your boss has brought you up more frequently in conversation, then it may be a sign that they’re attracted to you.^{[10]
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While it’s normal for bosses to compliment your work performance, any comments about your physical appearance or personality traits are more flirtatious. If you notice that you’re getting more personal compliments than your colleagues, it’s a sign your boss likes you without directly telling you.^{[11]
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They remember small details you tell them. Even if you only mention something once or twice, your boss will do their best to remember what you told them if they’re into you. They may bring up the detail again in a later conversation to show that they care about you and are listening to what you have to say in hopes that you’ll develop feelings for them.^{[12]
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- Some bosses are just detail-oriented, so pay attention to if your boss remembers tidbits about all your coworkers. If they’re treating everyone the same, then they may not be into you.
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They laugh easily at your jokes. If your boss has a strong reaction to your jokes even when they’re not meant to be funny, they may be interested in you more romantically. If you notice they aren’t laughing at jokes from your colleagues but are giving you extra attention and reactions, then they’re trying to get on your good side and make you more attracted to them.^{[13]
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- Your boss may also try cracking jokes to make you laugh more if they’re secretly into you.
If you notice that your boss is coming over to your desk, getting into your personal space, or even lightly brushing up against you, it’s a sign that they like you and are trying to hide it. Your boss wants to spend more time together in hopes that you’ll develop feelings for them and get used to their presence.^{[14]
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Pay attention if your boss raises their tone or sounds more excited when they start talking to you. If you notice the change in inflection, like if their voice gets deeper or higher, then they may have a crush on you.^{[15]
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If you notice that your boss is looking in your direction more frequently and holding eye contact, they’re trying to build more of a connection with you. They may even get embarrassed that you caught them staring and quickly look away if they like you.^{[16]
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If you notice that conversations with your boss are less work-related and are getting more sexual or personal in nature, then it’s a clear sign they’re flirting. Your boss may start with friendly banter and chit-chat, but as the conversation goes on, they may shift into talking about a relationship with you. They may feel a little nervous, anxious, or excited when you’re having a conversation because they want to leave a good impression on you.^{[17]
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Body language is one of the easiest ways to tell if someone is into you or not. Pay attention if your boss leans in closer to you, licks or brushes their lips, or smiles more often when they’re around you. They may also glance more at your body or nod their head a lot while they’re talking to show that they’re interested in a deeper relationship with you.^{[18]
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If your boss starts dressing up more, spends more time grooming themselves, or wears cologne or makeup more often around you, then it could mean they’re trying to impress you.^{[19]
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If you’re getting texts or calls from your boss outside of work hours just to check on how you’re doing, they may have an interest in you outside of the office. If they don’t address anything relating to work in their message or call, then it’s a sure sign that your boss is into you.^{[20]
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Social media is pretty non-professional, so if your boss asks to be your friend or follower, they may be trying to learn more about your personal life. If you notice that they’re sending you DMs, commenting frequently on your posts, or browsing your profile, then it’s a clear sign that they like you.^{[21]
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While presents around the holidays are pretty common, extra gifts from your boss throughout the year may be their way of getting on your good side. If they ask you to hide the gift from your other coworkers so they don’t get jealous, then it’s a sign they’re into you romantically..^{[22]
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They show off their power at work. If your boss talks about how much power or authority they have at the job, they may be trying to hold it over your head to make you like them back. They may be trying to get you to suck up to them and show interest back. They may also act more in control while you’re around to show off and impress you.^{[23]
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- If you’re dealing with a narcissistic boss, they may act powerful and in control in front of everyone rather than trying to impress you alone.
If your boss feels comfortable around you, they’ll feel okay discussing gossip about your colleagues when you’re with them. They may cross professional boundaries by talking about what other people are doing wrong and how you’re doing better than them. Your boss wants to make you feel like you’re an insider and have a close bond with them to show that they like you.
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They don’t mention their spouse if they’re married. If your boss is married and you don’t hear them ever discuss their significant other, then it could be a sign that they’re attracted to you. They don’t want you to picture another person with them, so your boss will avoid any talk about their home life.^{[24]
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- If this is the case, it's best to avoid your boss as much as possible and steer clear of any one-on-one time.
- Reader Poll: We asked 1199 wikiHow readers and 52% of them agreed that the best way to handle a married man being interested in you is by avoiding any interactions with him. [Take Poll]
Some bosses may playfully tease or pick on you as a way to hide their attraction toward you. If you notice that your boss was nice in the past and now is acting like you’re not as important, it may be a sign they’re suppressing their feelings.^{[25]
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If your boss feels like they can’t control their feelings when they’re around you, they may start avoiding you as much as possible. They may keep conversations brief and try to distance themselves from you so they don’t act out or reveal that they’re attracted to you.^{[26]
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If you talk about other coworkers or relationships that you have outside of work, your boss may act like they’re upset or ask more questions about them. If you notice that their mood changes as soon as you mention other romantic interests or other people in your life, then it could be a sign that your boss is jealous of your feelings toward them.^{[27]
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If your intuition is telling you that your boss is acting strange around you and treating you differently than coworkers, trust your instincts. You’re usually able to tell if someone is expressing their interest in you, so follow your gut even if you don’t have other evidence against your boss.^{[28]
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After keeping their attraction secret for a while, your boss may come right out and tell you their feelings if they don’t feel like you’re noticing their advances. They may make a comment about how they think you’re attractive or they may directly say that they want a relationship with you.^{[29]
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Section 2 of 2:

Responding to Your Boss Liking You

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1
Tell your boss that you want to stay professional if you’re not interested. If you don’t want a relationship with your boss, then pull them aside as soon as you can to discuss how you’re feeling. Tell them upfront that you want to maintain a professional relationship at work and that you feel like work relationships are inappropriate. Set boundaries with what you deem appropriate so you and your boss can have productive conversations moving forward.^{[30]
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- You may say something like, “I’ve always felt that work relationships were inappropriate, so I’d appreciate it if we kept our relationship professional and only discussed work-related topics.”
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Reach out to HR if your boss’s advances continue making you uncomfortable. If your boss continues to make advances towards you after speaking to them, then it could be considered sexual harassment. Elevate the issue immediately by talking to your boss’s superior or making a complaint to HR about the issue. ^{[31]
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- Remember that the HR department works to protect the company as a whole rather than the individual employees. Making an HR complaint may cause the company to retaliate and make you lose out on promotions or your current position.^{[32]
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Check company policies before starting a relationship. If you also have a crush on your boss and want to pursue a relationship with them, check in your company handbook if relationships are allowed between coworkers or employees at different levels. Other times, you may have to disclose the relationship with the company to make it official and avoid punishment.^{[33]
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- Many companies have policies that don’t allow you to date or have a relationship within the company, so you may not be able to pursue one with your boss even if the feeling is mutual.
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Consider if starting a relationship is worth the professional risk. If you start a relationship with your boss, then be prepared to hear gossip from your coworkers about your relationship. They may think you get opportunities because you’re dating the boss and may think they’re being treated unfairly. Also think about what may happen if the relationship ends because it could affect your working relationship or even your position within the company. If you’re worried about any professional repercussions, it’s better to avoid a relationship altogether.^{[34]
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- Remember that relationships between bosses and employees have an unbalanced power dynamic. Because your boss is an authority figure, you may feel pressured into a relationship if you think it will affect your professional standings.