This article was co-authored by Chloe Carmichael, PhD and by wikiHow staff writer, Annabelle Reyes. Chloe Carmichael, PhD is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist who runs a private practice in New York City. With over 12 years of psychological consulting experience, Dr. Chloe specializes in relationship issues, stress management, self-esteem, and career coaching. She has also instructed undergraduate courses at Long Island University and has served as adjunct faculty at the City University of New York. Dr. Chloe completed her PhD in Clinical Psychology at Long Island University in Brooklyn, New York, and her clinical training at Lenox Hill Hospital and Kings County Hospital. She is accredited by the American Psychological Association and is the author of “Nervous Energy: Harness the Power of Your Anxiety” and “Dr. Chloe's 10 Commandments of Dating.”
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If you’ve been in the workforce for a while, you’ve probably heard the terms “work wife” and “work spouse.” But what do these terms really mean, and are they acceptable to use in a professional setting? If you're looking for the answers to these questions, you’ve come to the right place! We’ll go over the definition of "work wife," explain the benefits of this type of relationship, and list some signs that you have a work spouse. We’ll also go over a few tips for having a healthy work spouse relationship, so keep reading!
“Work Wife” Meaning
A “work wife” (also called a “work spouse”) is a coworker or colleague that you share a close platonic relationship with. This relationship usually involves mutual respect, support, trust, and loyalty. Though work spouses often share a close emotional bond, it is purely friendly and not romantic.
Steps
Signs You Have a Work Spouse
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1You confide in each other about workplace issues. Work spouses tend to go to each other first when they want to talk something out.[11] If you find yourself reaching out to one specific colleague every time you have a work-related question or want to share some office gossip, there’s a good chance this person is your work spouse!
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2You collaborate on projects together. When your boss tells you to pick a partner for a collaborative project, do you make a beeline for a certain coworker? If so, they may be your work spouse! Work spouses always choose each other first when they have a chance to collaborate, just like best friends alway choose each other as partners for group projects at school.
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3You hang out together at work and work-related events. Given the chance, work spouses will be attached at the hip.[12] Do you grab lunch together every day? Make excuses to visit each other’s desks and chat? Lurk near the buffet table together at the office holiday party? If so, you could have a work spouse!
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4You feel like you can be yourself around them. A work spouse is someone you have a real, genuine friendship with. This means you can be vulnerable around them, confide in them, and let your real personality shine.[13] If you feel this comfortable and at-ease around one of your coworkers, they might just be your work spouse.
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5You have a lot of similarities with them. Do you have the same taste in music? Enjoy the same TV shows or movies? Share a sense of style? Research shows that we tend to like people more when they’re similar to us. So, if you and this coworker have a ton in common, there’s a good chance your work relationship can blossom into a true friendship, and by extension, a work-spouse relationship.[14]
Expert Q&A
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QuestionCan I be written up for having a work wife?Chloe Carmichael, PhDChloe Carmichael, PhD is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist who runs a private practice in New York City. With over 12 years of psychological consulting experience, Dr. Chloe specializes in relationship issues, stress management, self-esteem, and career coaching. She has also instructed undergraduate courses at Long Island University and has served as adjunct faculty at the City University of New York. Dr. Chloe completed her PhD in Clinical Psychology at Long Island University in Brooklyn, New York, and her clinical training at Lenox Hill Hospital and Kings County Hospital. She is accredited by the American Psychological Association and is the author of “Nervous Energy: Harness the Power of Your Anxiety” and “Dr. Chloe's 10 Commandments of Dating.”
Licensed Clinical PsychologistYou generally won’t get written up just for having a “work wife” or a close, platonic friendship with a colleague. However, if that relationship crosses professional boundaries, becomes distracting, or creates an uncomfortable environment for others, it could become an issue. The key is making sure your behavior remains professional and respectful, especially in a workplace setting where personal dynamics can sometimes be misinterpreted.
Tips
References
- ↑ https://dictionary.cambridge.org/us/dictionary/english/office-spouse
- ↑ https://www.thecut.com/2021/04/history-of-the-work-wife-husband.html
- ↑ https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/2329488420977893?icid=int.sj-abstract.citing-articles.1
- ↑ https://hospitalityinsights.ehl.edu/work-wife-workplace-relationship
- ↑ https://hospitalityinsights.ehl.edu/work-wife-workplace-relationship
- ↑ https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20161106-having-a-work-spouse-makes-you-happier
- ↑ https://www.forbes.com/sites/kimelsesser/2020/02/13/lets-stop-talking-about-work-spouses/?sh=579bbd936399
- ↑ https://time.com/6274502/work-friends-health-benefits/
- ↑ https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20161106-having-a-work-spouse-makes-you-happier
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-friendship-doctor/201012/the-work-spouse-indispensable-friend-or-playing-with-fire
- ↑ https://www.businessinsider.com/subtle-signs-you-have-a-work-spouse-2016-7
- ↑ https://www.businessinsider.com/subtle-signs-you-have-a-work-spouse-2016-7
- ↑ https://www.creighton.edu/news/whats-work-wife-creighton-researcher-helps-define-role
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/close-encounters/201812/why-do-we-people-who-are-similar-us
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-friendship-doctor/201012/the-work-spouse-indispensable-friend-or-playing-with-fire
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-friendship-doctor/201012/the-work-spouse-indispensable-friend-or-playing-with-fire
- ↑ https://businessdegrees.uab.edu/blog/friendships-in-the-workplace/