What Does It Mean to Dream Of Your Partner Cheating? 14 Interpretations

Had an infidelity dream? It might not mean what you think

Co-authored by Leah Morris and Savannah Vold

Last Updated: August 24, 2024 Fact Checked

Dreams about your partner cheating can be so upsetting—but what exactly do they mean? Dreams have a funny way of affecting our waking hours, whether or not they're based on reality. In this article, we'll help you get to the bottom of the issue and offer 14 reasons you might have had a cheating dream. Then, we'll follow up with advice on how you can tackle the underlying cause. And some infidelity dreams go the other way; if you actually dreamed about yourself cheating on your partner, we'll offer an explanation for that, too. Let's get started!

Things You Should Know

Having a dream your partner cheated on you doesn't mean it happened in real life.
Dreaming your partner cheated might signal that you're feeling neglected in your relationship. Communicate to make sure you're on the same page.
A dream your partner cheated might mean you're jealous of your partner spending a lot of time without you. Let them know you need more time together.
If you're unhappy in your relationship, a cheating dream might be a sign to break it off if your joint efforts can't make it work.

1

Your partner isn't giving you enough attention.

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You might be feeling neglected in your relationship. If you dreamt your partner cheated, it might be because you're either not getting the attention from them you need to feel secure, or they've been showing you less attention than usual. Communicate your needs with your partner, and let them know how you're feeling to ensure that you're both on the same page.^{[1]
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- It's easy to get wrapped up in work or another important commitment and not notice that you have yet to spend much time with your partner. Being open with your partner about what's going on in your life is an excellent way to avoid misunderstandings.

2

You feel jealous of someone.

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You might think your partner spends too much time with someone else. Maybe your partner has a close friend or colleague they spend a lot of time with, and it's making you insecure. Your brain might transform those feelings of insecurity into a cheating dream. Everyone on the planet has dealt with feelings of jealousy at one point or another, but it's important not to let it get out of control by overly comparing yourself with others.^{[2]
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- If you had a dream your partner was cheating on you, the person they were cheating with might have qualities or something you wish you had, like a great mindset or a successful career.
- Think of this as a chance to better understand yourself and what you want. Now you're empowered to go get those qualities yourself!^{[3]
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3

You're unsure about the future of your relationship.

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You and your partner might not share the same goals for the future. A successful relationship usually consists of a set of shared goals for the future that you both agree on and are excited about.^{[4]
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Research source} You might have dreamt your partner cheated on you because there's a misalignment of goals for the future, like them not wanting to have children when you do, or them wanting to move in with you when you're not ready for that.
- It's important to talk openly about your non-negotiables in a relationship. If you can't agree on fundamentals like wanting to get married in the future, it might be time to leave the relationship.

4

You're having trust issues.

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If you're questioning your partner's fidelity, your dreams might show it. Whether you've been cheated on in the past or your partner's been acting differently than usual, it's not surprising your brain might have tried to work through turbulent emotions of mistrust and fear in the form of a dream.^{[5]
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PubMed Central
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Go to source} Even if your partner hasn't given you any reason for concern, but you still feel wary of them, let them know how you're feeling by having a sit-down conversation with them if you feel comfortable doing so.
- Common signs of trust issues can surface as avoiding commitment, assuming people are out to hurt you, and isolating yourself from others.^{[6]
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5

You want your partner to get along with someone.

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You might want your partner to fit into your social life. Funny enough, dreaming that your partner cheated on you with someone important to you might just be your brain's silly way of processing the hope that they'll get along. If you're worried that your partner isn't getting along with someone close to you, like your best friend, help them get to know each other better by inviting them to a shared dinner with you.
- Though it's not ideal, your friends and family don't have to like your partner. If you feel as though you're in a healthy, fulfilling relationship, it's your happiness that matters most.^{[7]
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6

You're dealing with past relationship issues.

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Being cheated on in the past can affect your new relationships. If you've dealt with relationship issues in the past, like poor communication or cheating, you might be reflecting on and reliving those unhappy times in your dreams.^{[8]
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Research source} If the past is causing you anxiety, meditation could be a wonderful way to work through these negative emotions and recollections of prior relationships.^{[9]
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- If you're comfortable, having a conversation about elements of past relationships you didn't like, such as lack of time spent together, is a healthy way to set standards for your future together.
EXPERT TIP

Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC
Marriage & Family Therapist
Moshe Ratson is the Executive Director of spiral2grow Marriage & Family Therapy, a coaching and therapy clinic in New York City. Moshe is an International Coach Federation accredited Professional Certified Coach (PCC). He received his MS in Marriage and Family Therapy from Iona College. Moshe is a clinical member of the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT), and a member of the International Coach Federation (ICF).

Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC
Marriage & Family Therapist

Use this dream to actively reflect on your current relationship. Infidelity dreams can stem from anxieties within your relationship, so it can help to reflect on how you're feeling and identify areas in a relationship that might need attention. If you're worried, don't be afraid to bring your concerns to your partner!

7

You lack self-confidence.

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You might be feeling unworthy of love. A cheating dream can be caused by low self-confidence and feeling like you're not good enough for your partner. It's important to remember that you're your own amazing person. You deserve to be treated with respect, and that includes self-respect too.^{[10]
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- Build your self-confidence by writing a list of all the wonderful things you love about yourself. It can be easy to forget how great we are; sometimes, we need a reminder to pep ourselves back up!

8

You're feeling guilty about something.

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You might have done something without your partner. Silly, simple things like eating the last cookie or watching your favorite show without your partner might get turned into a cheating dream by your brain at night. When you feel guilty, your brain might try to find a way to punish you for breaking your partner's trust. That's why it's forcing you to sit through a painful dream.
- Keep in mind that dreams don't have to mean anything, but if you are guilty about something more serious, opening up to your partner about it might help to make you feel better.^{[11]
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- Telling the truth isn't easy, but if you're in a safe environment, it might be worth admitting what's bothering you to ease your stress.

9

Your partner isn't meeting your expectations.

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They might be disappointing you. If you had a cheating dream, you might be feeling like your partner is "cheating" in terms of their responsibilities to you and your home. Good relationships should be true partnerships. If you feel like your partner isn't contributing to your relationship enough, let them know they need to step up to the plate in order to make the relationship work.^{[12]
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Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources.

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- Areas your partner should contribute include helping with chores and making consistent efforts to make you feel loved and supported.
- If you dreamed that your partner was cheating with someone else in front of you, this might mean you don't feel like your partner necessarily respects your boundaries or is even aware of them.

10

You might be dealing with abandonment issues.

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Abandonment in past relationships can affect your new ones. Dreaming your partner cheated on you might indicate that you're working through some difficult feelings of abandonment. Great ways to work through this include building up your self-worth and spending time with friends.^{[13]
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Mind
U.K.-based mental health charity focused on providing advice and resources to anyone facing mental health problems.

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- Sometimes, our fears are borrowed from our family members, like if your Dad cheated on your Mom and so on. Try to separate the past from the future by recognizing what makes your current relationship different, like having great communication, etc.^{[14]
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11

You've fallen out of love with your partner.

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It might be time to move on. A dream that your partner cheated might signal you're ready for a new relationship.^{[15]
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Research source} If the spark seems to have fizzled out, consider how you've been feeling about your partner to determine whether or not you're content in your relationship.
- It's ok to fall out of love! Ending a relationship that no longer serves you is a difficult but natural part of life.

12

Something suggested the idea to you.

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^{[16]
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Research source} Have you ever seen an elephant on tv and dreamed about one on the same night? The same thing goes for a cheating dream. Try not to take it too seriously if none of the reasons listed above resonate with you. You probably just read something on the news or overheard someone talking about their boyfriend cheating on them at the coffee shop!

13

If you had a dream you cheated on your partner…

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1
... you're probably dealing with a lot of stress. Don't feel bad! Just like dreaming your partner cheated on you, dreaming you cheated on your partner doesn't indicate that something similar might happen in the future. Instead, if you've been feeling stressed about work, maintaining your social life, or any other commitment, it might make you feel like you're cheating because you can't spend as much quality time with them as you'd like.^{[17]
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- To ease your stress and feelings of guilt, carve out a day to make your partner feel special. Take them out to dinner, go to the movies, or surprise them with something they've been wanting to show them you care.
2
...you might be unsatisfied with your relationship. Feeling disappointed by the state of your relationship or partner can also cause a cheating dream. If you've tried to work through your problems with your partner, but things never change, breaking it off is okay– some problems just can't be solved.^{[18]
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- Before you call it quits, give your partner a chance to share their side of the story by expressing your feelings with them calmly and respectfully. Who knows, a big problem could have been caused by a small misunderstanding!

Join the Discussion...

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