What is a Stage 5 Clinger? Your Questions Answered

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The meaning, signs, and causes of a stage 5 clinger

Co-authored by Tala Johartchi, PsyD and Bailey Cho

Last Updated: July 22, 2024 Fact Checked

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• Meaning
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• Signs
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• Causes
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• Video
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• Expert Interview
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• Tips

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You’re talking with a friend about their love life when they accuse someone they’re seeing of being a “stage 5 clinger.” Huh? What does that even mean? While this popular phrase originates from the 2005 romantic comedy Wedding Crashers, you don’t need to watch the movie to figure out what it means. In this article, we’ll teach you everything you need to know about a stage 5 clinger (plus, the reasons behind their intense behavior).

Things You Should Know

• A stage 5 clinger is a person who gets overly attached to their partner in a short time span.
• Signs of a stage 5 clinger include craving constant attention and reassurance, as well as texting their partner 24/7.
• People usually exhibit clingy behavior because they have a fear of rejection or abandonment, due to negative romantic experiences or childhood trauma.

Steps

Section 1 of 3:

What is a stage 5 clinger?

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1. A stage 5 clinger is someone who gets overly attached to their partner in a short time span. They can be needy, insecure, and a little bit obsessive, especially when their partner isn’t responsive to them. While clinginess may be their way of expressing affection, their behavior can become annoying or overbearing if it goes unchecked. A stage 5 clinger tends to lack boundaries and social awareness when it comes to maintaining healthy relationships.

   • The popular phrase comes from the 2005 romantic comedy, Wedding Crashers. In the film, Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson crash wedding receptions to hook up with people easily, but Vince gets entangled with a needy woman named Gloria, who he describes as a “stage 5 clinger.”
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Section 2 of 3:

Signs of a Stage 5 Clinger

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   They usually crave constant attention and reassurance. The most common trait of a stage 5 clinger is being insecure. Since they don’t believe they’re “good enough” on their own, they might cling onto others to feel valued and worthy. They want others to verbally express how important they are, and they often question whether they’re truly liked by others when they’re not receiving validation.
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   They might constantly text their partner, even if they don’t get a reply. A stage 5 clinger may get easily upset or worried if their partner doesn’t respond to them quickly. They want to know what their partner is up to…even if it means sending them 10 texts in a row. Repeatedly texting someone is a way to ensure they’re still desired, easing their insecurities.

   • A stage 5 clinger usually lacks social awareness when it comes to texting. If the other person replies with short, dry messages, they don’t see that as a sign to cool off with excessive texting, and they might even send more messages in return.
   • This behavior can also translate into calling the other person over and over or leaving them emails until they respond.
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   They probably want to know where their partner is at all times. Another common sign of a stage 5 clinger is feeling uneasy if they don’t know their partner’s whereabouts. Clingy people automatically assume the worst situation possible and become more obsessive if they don’t figure out their partner’s location.

   • In some cases, a stage 5 clinger may check up on their partner multiple times a day on a mobile tracking app, like Find My Friends. Or, they might go on social media with the sole purpose of seeing if they’re online.
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   Their entire life may revolve around their partner. A stage 5 clinger usually stops hanging out with their friends and family as soon as they enter a relationship, or they drop their schedule when their partner asks them to hang out. By prioritizing their partner’s needs before their own, they neglect themselves, causing more stress and strain on their relationship.
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   They might feel incapable of being alone. Another common sign of being a stage 5 clinger is always needing to be around other people. Clingy people tend to seek emotional support from others in order to feel secure, and this constant need for closeness can actually push other people away. It’s rare for stage 5 clingers to be alone, but if no one else is around them, they don’t know what to do with their time.
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   They likely feel incomplete without their partner. Some clinginess can be healthy in a relationship, but it becomes destructive if someone depends on their partner for everything. A stage 5 clinger doesn’t understand the concept that someone can be self-sufficient and independent in a relationship (while supporting their partner at the same time).
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   They could show up at their partner’s workplace uninvited. Stopping by someone’s office to see what’s going on in their life is a solid sign of a stage 5 clinger. They might drop by because their partner hasn't responded to them or they’re worried that they’re not wanted anymore. Regardless of their reasoning, engaging in intrusive behavior like this isn’t okay, and it could cause the clinger to spiral and lose control of their emotions.
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   They may hang around their partner’s neighborhood in hopes of “running into them.” In addition to stopping by someone’s workplace, some stage 5 clingers intentionally roam the areas they know their partner (or love interest) frequents. They follow the other person around because they feel the need to be together all the time, but this behavior is also considered an invasion of privacy.
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Section 3 of 3:

What causes clingy behavior?

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1. 1
   Stage 5 clingers may have an anxious attachment style. Attachment styles determine how people interact in their relationships, especially when it comes to forming emotional bonds with others. If someone didn’t grow up with emotionally available parents or their needs weren’t met as a child, they might develop an anxious attachment style—they crave intimacy but worry that others don’t want to be with them.

   • Many stage 5 clingers have a fear of abandonment, so their behavior is a self-soothing strategy for them to feel worthy and loved.
   • To determine your attachment style, assess your personality and reflect on your childhood. If you constantly seek approval from others or become obsessed with the details of your relationships, you might have an anxious attachment style.
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   Clingy behavior could also be caused by general anxiety. If a stage 5 clinger is constantly worried about things, they might carry this behavior over into their relationship. They may question if their partner truly likes them, what their partner is up to when they’re alone, or if their partner is going to abandon them. They could also have difficulty shutting off these negative thoughts, even if their relationship is thriving.

   • Take a relationship anxiety test to see if you exhibit any signs of clingy behavior. If you constantly feel insecure around others, try to find the source of your behavior and open up to someone about your worries and concerns.
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   Clinginess can emerge if someone has negative romantic experiences. If someone has only been in unhealthy relationships, they might have unhealed wounds or trauma. Unanswered calls or texts might trigger bad memories for them, so their clinginess is a way to ensure the relationship is on track.
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Tips

• If you’re depending on someone else for your happiness (or you’re engaging in intrusive behavior like stalking), find a therapist to help you discover the root of your behavior. If your clinginess isn’t addressed, it can damage your relationships with others and potentially harm your well-being, so make sure to speak to someone about your feelings.
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• Instead of jumping to conclusions when the other person doesn’t respond or you feel insecure around them, try to figure out what’s causing your needy behavior. Have you dealt with similar experiences in the past? Do you have an anxious attachment style? Determining the root of your clingy behavior can help you manage your emotions.
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• If you’re constantly thinking about someone else, it can cause you to become overly attached or obsessed with them. To avoid this behavior, try to distract yourself with creative activities or projects. Whether it’s drawing, reading, or writing a song, find ways to enjoy your own company so you don’t have to rely on others to feel valued and worthy.
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