How to Sweet Talk a Girl

Co-authored by Connell Barrett

Last Updated: December 6, 2024 Approved

Talking to a girl can be hard enough -- but sweet talking her is an art. If you want to know how to sweet talk a girl, then you have to be able to make her feel special, without making her think that you're just putting on the moves. Whether you want to sweet talk your lady or a girl who has caught your eye from across the room, wikiHow's got your back. If you want to get started with your smooth talking, hop to Step 1.

Part 1

Part 1 of 3:

Getting Ready

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1
Don't be shy about how you feel. If you really want to sweet talk a girl, then you have to make it pretty clear that you're into her. This doesn't mean that you should tell her how hot you think she is the second you've met, but it does mean that she has to see that you're into what she's bringing to the table. Don't be too rude, look around the room, or make her question your motives. Once she knows you're into her, it's up to you to win her over with your words.^{[1]
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- Don't worry if you're normally shy about talking to girls. If you act confident when you approach her and are sweet to her right off the bat, she'll respond in a positive way and will make you more relaxed about talking to her.
2
Keep it casual. Don't make it too obvious that you're sweet talking her. Don't say, "Hey, baby, what's up?" Or, "What are you up to, hot stuff?" Or she will want to pull away. Just come right up to her and say, "Hey, what are you up to?" Or, "Hey, I'm _____, what's your name?" You don't need a smooth pick-up line or to make a big deal about the fact that you're talking to a cute girl you like. Make it feel natural, like you're already friends, and take it from there.^{[2]
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Expert Source

Connell Barrett
Dating Coach

Expert Interview. 24 September 2019.}
- If you act too nervous, formal, or excited about talking to her, you may make her feel a bit nervous, too. The more relaxed and easygoing you are, the better she'll feel.
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3
Be respectful. Sweet talking a girl can have its limits. If you want to sweet talk her, then you have to stay respectful about not overstepping any boundaries or making her feel uncomfortable. If you don't know her that well, or even if you do, you should avoid saying anything overly sexual or vulgar because she will instantly want to pull away. Instead, respect her boundaries both by not crowding her or sitting too close to her and by not making any comments that are just too raunchy and that can be interpreted the wrong way.^{[3]
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Expert Source

Connell Barrett
Dating Coach

Expert Interview. 24 September 2019.}
- Don't compliment her breasts, butt, or any parts of her body that are off-limits.
- If she starts talking raunchy, you can up the ante a bit, but don't just start off this way.
4
Give her your full attention. An important part of sweet talking a girl is making her feel like the only person in the room. Make eye contact, and only break it occasionally so you don't come off as too intense. Turn your body toward her. Stop checking your phone or looking around for your buddies. Make her feel like all you care about is hanging out with her and hearing what she has to say. That will make whatever you say sound much, much, sweeter.^{[4]
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- If someone calls you or texts you and you really have to answer it, apologize or excuse yourself. Let her see that you really are focused on her. Nothing will make her lose interest faster than seeing you text your best buddy back and forth.

Part 2

Part 2 of 3:

Flattering Her

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1
Compliment her. Girls love being complimented, just as you do. Notice the things about her that make her special to you and be sure to let her know that you've noticed. Don't just give her a generic compliment like, "You look pretty tonight," but make it as specific as you can. Tell her, "Your eyes look so pretty with your sweater," or something that lets her see that you're really paying attention. Don't limit your compliments to mentioning her physical appearance, though. Compliment something you love about the ways she acts or her personality. Here are some other great compliments you can give:^{[5]
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- "I love your laugh. I've never heard anything like it before."
- "You're so good at making people feel good about themselves."
- "You're so easy to talk to. I feel like I can say anything to you."
- Reader Poll: We asked 307 wikiHow readers who have a girlfriend and 52% of them agreed that the best way to compliment her is by pointing out something specific about her outfit. [Take Poll] So try making a sweet, specific comment about what she’s wearing!
If you know each other pretty well, then you can consider giving her a cute nickname that makes her feel special and lets her know how you really feel about her. This can have to do with an inside joke you have, or can be related to an aspect of her personality or appearance. Just make sure you're familiar enough with her to give her a nickname so she doesn't feel like you're taking it too far.^{[6]
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3
Compliment her in front of other people. This doesn't mean you should embarrass her and say something like, "Mandy here is the most incredible girl I've ever met," but it does mean that you can find a way to sneak in a compliment about her when you're out with other people. Say something like, "Have you seen her play basketball? Nobody can shoot like her," or, "Lisa here always knows what to do when you're having friend drama." Just casually mention something she's good at and see how great it makes her feel.
- Give her subtle eye contact when you give the compliment, so she knows you're really just trying to sweet talk her.
- Bonus points if you can compliment something about her in front of other people that you've never mentioned to her when you're alone.
4
Say that your friends or family would love her. Girls love hearing this -- not the first time you meet them, of course. But if you're talking to the girl long enough and the moment feels right, you can say something like, "You should come out with me and my buddies. I know they would love you," or "You're the kind of girl who my mom would really like. I can tell." The girl will be really flattered and will start to think that you're really serious about her, since mentioning the idea of introducing her to your friends and family is a big step.
- That being said, don't say this unless you mean it! You don't want the girl to think you're serious about her if you're just out for a good time.
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Flirt with her. Flirting is a big part of sweet talking. To flirt with the girl, you have to be playful with her, to tease her a bit, and to let her know you think she's cute without saying so. It can take some practice to master the perfect flirtation style, so err on the side of caution, starting off slowly and then getting more playful as she responds to you. You can even give her a light touch to let her know you like her, putting a hand on her knee or arm for a second.
- Say something like, "Do you always wear so much pink or is it a special occasion?" You don't have to be super serious to be a great flirt.
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Tell her she's smart. Women hate feeling like you just see them as eye candy or only view them as pretty faces with nothing going on upstairs. Complimenting a girl's mind, these days, can be more flattering than just complimenting her looks or her clothes. Saying something like, "You're really smart. I really like the way you think," or "I've never heard anyone put it like that before. You're an original thinker," can really make her feel special. Obviously, only do this if it's true!
- Don't try too hard to force this into the conversation. Wait until the right opportunity presents itself. If you tell her she's smart while you're both laughing about her pet dog, Bobo, then she may look at you funny.

Part 3

Part 3 of 3:

Showing a Real Interest in Her

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1
Let her know how much you like hanging out with her. Say something like, "It's always so fun to talk to you," or "I always have the best time talking to you." Though she may get the vibe that you really like spending time with her, it may be better to just come right out and say it. Don't be afraid of telling her how you really feel. She'll really appreciate it and she'll be charmed by your smooth moves.
- Of course, make sure you actually are having a great time before you tell her that you always have a great time when you hang out with her!
Develop some code words between each other. Use them around other people and laugh secretly as if you're having a private joke. This is a great way to make the girl feel like you're sweet on her. If you didn't like her, then you wouldn't share a private language, would you? Don't be too obvious about it, but if you can find a way to make the girl laugh or smile when you're alone or around others, that's definitely a way of sweet talking her.
3
Let her know how much you love/like her. If you're at the "I love you" stage in your relationship, then make sure you let her know how you really feel. Don't just say it once every blue moon; if you love her, tell her every day, multiple times a day, without overwhelming her. And if you're dating or hanging out a lot, always remind her that you really like her. You can do this without smothering her and let her know that you really do care for her.
- Find a way to naturally slip it into the conversation. Don't just say "I really like you" or "I love you" when you need her to do something for you or to forgive you. Make it feel spontaneous.
4
Crack her up. Making a girl laugh is key to sweet talking her. You don't have to be the world's greatest comedian to bring a genuine smile to her face. Don't be afraid to be a little bit corny or silly or just to say something a little bit random. As long as she doesn't feel like you're trying too hard, she'll appreciate the effort. You can tease her a bit, or even make fun of yourself a bit, as long as you're not being too self-deprecating. Remember that when you're sweet talking a girl, you want to keep things light, not talk about how your life has lost all meaning since your grandfather died. Make her feel light and airy and laugh as much as possible -- you can do the serious stuff later.
- If you tried a joke and fell flat, just saying something like, "You can't win them all," or just laugh at yourself a bit. There's no need to look crushed or to make things awkward. In fact, soon enough, you can both be laughing at your failed attempt.
5
Thank her. Take a minute to acknowledge something nice the girl has done for you. You can say, "Thanks for our conversation. It's definitely made my day," or "Thank so much for helping out last week. I couldn't have passed that test without you." Let her know that you appreciate what she does for you and that you're aware of how much she means to you. This will make her feel like she's an important part of your life and that you really care for her.
- You don't have to overdo it. If it's just something small, just say, "Hey, thanks for getting me this coffee. I really need it." You don't have to act like she did something life-changing while acknowledging her actions in a positive way.
6
Tell her she's unique. If you really want to sweet talk a girl, then you have to let her know that she's not like any other girl you know. Make her feel unique, and mean it. Find something about her that isn't true about any other girl and tell her how you feel. If she knows that she stands out to you, she'll really be flattered and will be touched by your effort. Here are some ways to make her really feel unique:
- "I've never met a girl who is as comfortable with herself as you are."
- "You're so good at listening to people. It's an amazing skill."
- "You really know how to make people feel good about themselves. I don't know anyone else who can do that as well as you."
- "You're not like any other girl I've ever met."
7
Ask her opinion. Another way to sweet talk a girl is to actually ask her how she feels about something. If you're doing all the smooth talking, going on and on about how much you like her or filling her with flattery, then she can get bored pretty fast. Instead, take the time to actually ask her what she thinks about certain subjects. This will let her know that you see her as more than just an object and that the things she says really matter to you. Here are some things you can ask her about:
- A mutual friend
- A band coming to town
- A new TV show
- Current events (as long as you don't get into a controversial conversation too early)
- What she thinks you should do in a certain situation
8
Ask about her life. Another way to sweet talk a girl is to actually show an interest in who she is. Let her see that she's more than just a cute girl and that you see her as an individual with her own dreams and desires. You don't have to pry too much to let her know you're really interested in who she is. Avoid the extra personal topics and stick to things she'll be comfortable talking about. Here are some things you can ask about:
- Her hobbies and interests
- Her passions
- Her friends
- Her family
- Her pets
- Her plans for the weekend
9
Ask how her day was. This is completely simple, and completely effective. Sometimes all a girl (or anyone, really) wants to hear is, "How was your day?" Nothing can sound sweeter to someone who had a bad, or just an interesting day, and who wants to talk about it. She'll be touched that you actually care about how her day went, and if you sound like you really mean it, she'll say more than just "Good" or "Not too bad," and will begin to open up to you.
- To truly sweet talk a girl, you have to find a balance between flattering her and actually making her feel like you care.
10
Listen to her. Listening can be just as important as talking, when it comes to making a girl feel special. All the flattery in the world won't work if you don't take the time to slow down, shut up, and really listen to what she has to say. Make eye contact, nod occasionally as you follow along, and don't interrupt her when she's trying to tell you something. Don't tell her you know exactly how she feels and don't say, "That was just how I felt this one time when…" Let her see that you care about what she has to say, not what it has to do with you.^{[7]
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- Face it: a lot of guys are notoriously bad listeners. Make yourself stand out as someone who is just as interested in listening to a girl as he is in trying to impress her. And if you're a good listener, she will be impressed.
- It's important to remember what she tells you so you can bring it up later in the conversation. She'll feel really special if you can bring up some offhand comment she made two hours or two days ago.

Join the Discussion...

So how do you actually talk to girls?

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WikiGiraffeHugger577

I’m (16 m) not very good at talking to girls. I just get all clammy and awkward whenever I talk to someone I like. Sometimes, I even get weird... Read More

Imad Jbara
Dating Coach

I'm a firm believer that the problem with talking to someone you like is that you know you have that intention in your heart. I think women can p... Read More

WikiBirdGlider597

I used to get nervous around girls too. But then I learned that listening more than you speak is a hack that makes people think you're a great co... Read More

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Tips

Don't do anything that might make her feel uncomfortable, like touching or trying to kiss her without her permission.^{[8]
X
Expert Source

Connell Barrett
Dating Coach

Expert Interview. 24 September 2019.}

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Stop talking when she's talking. Listen to her. Give her eye contact and your undivided attention.

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Act like you're sure she's already in love with you. Feigned arrogance makes most people laugh, especially when flirting.

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