How to Talk to Your Crush if He Knows You Like Him

Co-authored by Laura Bilotta

Last Updated: April 19, 2024 Approved

Having a crush on someone can be super exciting, but it can be a little scary, too. If the guy who’s caught your attention already knows you like him, you may feel especially nervous. You're probably also wondering how you should act around him. However, you can approach him with confidence by finding small ways to make conversation, keeping calm, and moving your relationship forward. Remember to be you and you’ll have that guy crushing on you in no time!

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Making Conversation

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1
Start off by making comments in passing. You might feel a little nervous to just go up to your crush and have an entire conversation, so start small. Make a comment if he passes you on your way to class or your office.
- You can say something like, “Nice shirt, Jim!” if you see him in the hallway. Keep these comments to once or twice daily.
2
Ask for a favor. Try to put yourself in a position where you might need help from your crush. This might be after a staff meeting when you need clarity on something your boss said or if you need to borrow a pencil in class.^{[1]
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- You might say, “Hey, did our supervisor want us to use Excel for those documents? I’m not really familiar with that. Can you show me what he means?”
- You might also say, “Nolan, I can’t reach this book from the shelf. Can you help?”
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3
Make jokes with him. Things might be a little tense around you two now that he knows you like him, but break the ice with some humor. If something funny happens in a class or meeting the two of you are in, make a joke about it. You can also show your crush funny memes or videos on your phone.
- For instance, perhaps you found a hilarious video online. Say, “Hey, Summer, have you seen this video? I laughed at this all night.”
4
Talk about things you’re both interested in. Maybe you’re friends with your crush or maybe you’ve noticed that you two have a lot in common. Use that history or those similarities to make conversation with him and avoid awkward chats.^{[2]
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- You might say, “Hey, I remember you said you like Game of Thrones. Did you watch the finale? It was epic!”
- You could also say, “I noticed that you were wearing a Kendrick Lamar t-shirt. I really like his music. I’m thinking about going to his concert.”
- Reader Poll: We asked 2010 wikiHow readers who've talked to their gym crush, and 54% of them agreed that the best way to break the ice is by making small talk about their workout routine. [Take Poll] This is a great example of how to talk about common interests with your crush!
5
Ask him open-ended questions. When you’re nervous, you might ramble on and on about absolutely nothing. Asking your crush questions is a great way to avoid this and get him to open up. Ask him questions that require more than a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ answer.
- You might say “Hey Brian, I noticed that you did really well on that report our boss gave us. What strategies did you use? I wanna improve my next one.”
6
Address any awkwardness between you. Maybe someone told your crush that you like him or maybe you told him yourself, but he didn’t respond as you had hoped. If you really want to talk to him, this awkwardness may need to be addressed. Talk to him about your crush and let him know that you want to be cool with each other.
- Say, “Hey, Josh, I know that Tasha told you I like you. Even though I can’t say it’s a lie, if you don’t like me back, it’s okay. I still want to be friends with you no matter what."

Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Playing It Cool

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Relax yourself before you see him. Before having a conversation with your crush, take some deep breaths. You'll want to be totally calm when you approach him. You might also choose to listen to some music to boost your mood and confidence beforehand.
- For instance, listening to Cardi B's song "Bodak Yellow" might hype you up and make you ready to take on any conversation.
When you see him, don’t look down at the floor or be embarrassed, show him your pearly whites! Smiling is a great way to help others feel comfortable, and it can even improve your own mood.^{[3]
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Expert Source

Laura Bilotta
Dating Coach & Matchmaker

Expert Interview. 7 July 2020.} Show him you don’t mind him knowing your secrets by being warm and friendly.
3
Dress to impress. To feel confident, you must dress the part.^{[4]
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Expert Source

Laura Bilotta
Dating Coach & Matchmaker

Expert Interview. 7 July 2020.} On the days you know you’ll see him, take a little extra time getting ready. Iron your clothes the night before and wear a shirt that complements your eyes. Make sure your hair is neat and put on some nice-smelling fragrance.
- For instance, you might wear that dress that hugs your figure or a shirt that shows off your nice arms.
4
Visualize yourself being cool and calm when you see him. When you’re at home, close your eyes and imagine yourself walking right up to him being confident, happy, and at ease. You'll find that this will be easier to do in real life if you've already created the vision in your head.
- You can also practice having conversations with him in the mirror so you feel prepared.
5
Give him his space. Don’t always be the first one to say ‘hello’ or to smile or wave. Sometimes guys need a little space and that’s okay. Let him approach you on occasion so that your dynamic isn’t so one-sided.
- Don’t ignore him, though! If he’s looking at you, look at him, too. If he speaks to you, make sure you speak back. You don’t want him to think you’re rude.

Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Moving Your Relationship Forward

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1
Flirt with him. If he already knows you like him, why not continue to show your interest? Laugh at his jokes, touch his arm occasionally when he's talking, or give him a flirty compliment.^{[5]
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Expert Source

Laura Bilotta
Dating Coach & Matchmaker

Expert Interview. 7 July 2020.} You can also stare at him for a few seconds if you see him across the room and smile slightly so he knows he’s caught your eye.
- You can say something like, “Tony, you look so handsome today” and flash him a bright smile.
2
Be in the same spaces you know he’ll be in. People tend to like those who they are often in close proximity to. Get closer to your crush so you have more opportunities to talk to him and make him like you. Sit near him in class or go to parties you know he might attend.^{[6]
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- If he acts annoyed when he sees you or tells you to go away, leave him alone. Try to avoid talking to him after that. You deserve someone who’ll give you positive attention!
3
Ask him to do something thrilling with you. People also tend to feel a stronger connection to those that they do exciting or adrenaline-pumping activities with. Find a few moments to invite your crush to do some of these things with you.^{[7]
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- You might ask him to go to a theme park with you or invite him over to watch a scary movie. This will help connect you and give you things to talk about.
- You can say, “Hey James, I have tickets to a theme park this weekend. Wanna go with me? It should be really fun.”
4
Tell him how you feel. If your crush heard that you like him from someone else, give him the chance to hear it from you directly. Or maybe you already told him and want to give it one more shot before throwing in the towel. Either way, talk to him and share your feelings.^{[8]
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- Say, “Hey, I know you already know that I like you. But I just wanted to know if you’re interested in me, too. If not, I won’t bother you about this again, but I do hope we can be cool either way.”
5
Move on if he doesn’t show interest in you. Sometimes the guy you like might not be into you, and that’s okay! If he doesn’t really speak when you approach him, tries to avoid you, or looks away when you see him, move on. You deserve someone who’s going to give it their all. Go out there and find your perfect match!
- Ask your friends to hook you up with a guy they know or consider talking to another guy you might have your eye on.
If he doesn’t like you back, don’t worry! You two can still be great friends. There’s always gonna be at least one guy who doesn’t like you the way you like them and it can be tough. But if he’s fun and kind, don’t let this ruin your friendship. Continue to talk and be normal, but let go of your romantic feelings. There are plenty of other fish in the sea!

Community Q&A

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Question

What do I do when my crush is with another girl?

Community Answer

Respect his space, and don't flirt with a taken guy. If the relationship is unhappy and they break up, he may eventually become available. You can try being his friend if you value his friendship and it isn't too painful, but otherwise, stay away. The relationship may last a while, so evaluate whether it's worth the wait.

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Question

What does it mean if I told my crush I like him and he told me he still wants to be my friend?

Community Answer

He's uncomfortable with dating you, or he doesn't like you romantically. If he want to remain friends, you should believe him and move on. Know, however, that romantic chances are probably zero now.

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What do I do when my best friend has a crush on my crush?

Community Answer

Talk about it together. Don't let one boy ruin your friendship because you don't know how your best friend feels. Get together and lay your own feelings out on the table, then ask his/hers. You can figure out what to do, like flipping a coin for him, from there.

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