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You’ve halted all contact with a guy after a breakup, but now you’re left wondering…what’s he thinking? For most guys, a “no contact” period will make them realize how much they care about you or make them jealous, confused, or remorseful. It’s a time full of emotions, and we’ve put together a thorough list of what he might feel while you’re giving him the silent treatment. Read on to see how the male mind reacts during “no contact.”

This article is based on an interview with our licensed clinical psychologist and relationship coach, Sarah Schewitz, founder of Couples Learn. Check out the full interview here.

1

He won’t be concerned at first.

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  1. If it was him who broke up with you, he may even feel relieved at first. He might assume you’re busy or processing your feelings, even though it’s likely he’s dismissing his own at this stage.[1]
    • This “honeymoon phase” doesn’t last long. After several days, he’ll begin to feel like something is off.
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2

He’ll start to get curious about you.

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  1. It’s common for most men to expect (or hope) that their ex will be the one to break the ice, and he’ll worry when you haven’t called or texted in a week. He’ll be obsessed with trying to figure out what you’re thinking.[2]
    • When he can’t find out what you’re up to, he’ll start making his own stories—maybe that you’re seeing someone, or you’ve given up on him.
    • The less he knows about you during this time, the more he’ll think about you during “no contact.”
3

He might begin to feel panicked.

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  1. He’ll realize that playing it cool and not reaching out to you aren’t working, and that you’ve put your foot down on “no contact.” He wants you to feel the same way he does, but if he doesn’t see any sign of you hurting or moving on, he’ll be very confused.[3]
    • It’s after this realization that his behavior or thought patterns might change. He may cycle through a range of negative thoughts or reach out to you first.
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4

He’ll wonder if you miss him at all.

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6

He could be struggling with a fear of commitment.

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8

He could feel angry or upset.

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  1. It’s normally short-lived and comes from his ego being bruised, but it’s still unpleasant. He might think you’re being rude or fake, and may even try to confront you about it or get a rebound girlfriend in response.[7]
    • Anger usually gives way to remorse after a few days or weeks and is a normal response to breakups or the silent treatment.
    • In some cases, a burst of anger could lead to him trying to beg or persuade you to come back.[8]
9

He might want to see other people.

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  1. He might feel angry and do it out of spite or insecurity, or he may genuinely want to put his feelings to the test and see if anyone else can compare to you. When he realizes they can’t, he’ll want you back even more.[9]
    • He might also find a rebound or fling if he suspects you’re seeing someone new too. It could be because he wants to “win” the breakup, or to prove that he’s over you (even if he isn’t).
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10

He’ll get desperate for your attention.

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11

He’ll show signs that “no contact” is working.

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  1. The biggest and most obvious sign that your silent treatment is working is that he’ll try to contact you. It could be a simple “Hey” text, or he might even flatout ask to get back together. Other signs your ex misses you during “no contact” could be:[11]
    • He asks mutual friends about you (or they tell you that he misses you).
    • He’s super active on your social media and follows you closely.
    • He’s way more responsive to your messages (if you’re in contact).
    • He makes sudden changes or improvements to his appearance.
    • He makes sudden lifestyle changes, like hitting the gym a lot more.
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12

He’ll see how much he misses you.

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13

He’ll be terrified he lost you forever.

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  1. He’s been hoping and hoping you’ll talk to him, but now he’s realizing he’ll be a permanent ex if he doesn’t do something. He’ll reflect deeply and, if he wants you back, make a plan to win you over.[13]
    • If he truly cares about you and is worried about losing you, he will reach out to you.
    • He might have been holding out on communicating for so long because he thought he could “win” the breakup and make you reach out first.
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14

He might only think about himself.

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15

He’ll finally reach acceptance.

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  1. In this final stage of “no contact,” he’ll stop reaching out as frequently (or at all), his social media activity will die down, and he’ll stop trying to “accidentally” bump into you. There’s no more ambiguity in the relationship—you’re exes.[15]
    • This period can be very sad for both exes. He’ll feel down if he wanted you back, and you might feel sad that he’s officially not a part of your life anymore.
    • If you were hoping to get back together with him, it’ll be up to you to reach out after the “no contact” phase.
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Tips

  • Every guy is different and will react to “no contact” in their own way. Be open and flexible about changing your tactics if it’s not panning out the way you hoped.
  • Go “no contact” if you’re in an on-again off-again relationship where contact means you’ll eventually get back together.
  • If you feel the need to communicate with him or express your feelings once in a while, it’s OK to break “no contact.”
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About This Article

Sarah Schewitz, PsyD
Written by:
Licensed Psychologist
This article was written by Sarah Schewitz, PsyD and by wikiHow staff writer, Dan Hickey. Sarah Schewitz, Psy.D. is a licensed clinical psychologist by the California Board of Psychology with over 10 years of experience. She received her Psy.D. from the Florida Institute of Technology in 2011. She is the founder of Couples Learn, an online psychology practice helping couples and individuals improve and change their patterns in love and relationships. This article has been viewed 494,048 times.
47 votes - 75%
Co-authors: 6
Updated: November 10, 2024
Views: 494,048
Categories: Social Interactions
Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 494,048 times.

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