This article was co-authored by Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW and by wikiHow staff writer, Eric McClure. Kelli Miller is a Psychotherapist based in Los Angeles, California. Kelli specializes in individual and couples therapy focusing on relationships, depression, anxiety, sexuality, communication, parenting, and more. She is the author of “Love Hacks: Simple Solutions to Your Most Common Relationship Issues” which details the top 15 relationship issues and 3 quick solutions to each. She is also the award-winning and best-selling author of “Thriving with ADHD”. Kelli co-hosted an advice show on LA Talk Radio and was a relationship expert for The Examiner. She received her MSW (Masters of Social Work) from the University of Pennsylvania and a BA in Sociology/Health from the University of Florida.
There are 15 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page.
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Ever wonder why some guys seem like they’re born to be loyal and doting husbands while others won’t stop messing around even if it destroys them? Staying faithful isn’t a challenge for a lot of men, but there are a few kinds of men who are more likely to cheat, and we can separate them into 3 general categories based on why they do it. In this article, we’ll break these archetypes down, cover the signs they’re cheating, and explain everything you need to know about infidelity and men.
This article is based on an interview with our licensed marriage and family therapist, Michelle Joy. Check out the full interview here.
Things You Should Know
- The Opportunist will cheat on their partner if the option presents itself and he knows you’ll never find out.
- The Player may cheat as often as they can to feed their ego and get the attention they crave.
- The Frustrated Guy cheats when there’s something missing in their relationship and they decide to have an affair instead of fixing it.
Steps
Expert Q&A
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QuestionWhat are other reasons why men have an affair?Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSWKelli Miller is a Psychotherapist based in Los Angeles, California. Kelli specializes in individual and couples therapy focusing on relationships, depression, anxiety, sexuality, communication, parenting, and more. She is the author of “Love Hacks: Simple Solutions to Your Most Common Relationship Issues” which details the top 15 relationship issues and 3 quick solutions to each. She is also the award-winning and best-selling author of “Thriving with ADHD”. Kelli co-hosted an advice show on LA Talk Radio and was a relationship expert for The Examiner. She received her MSW (Masters of Social Work) from the University of Pennsylvania and a BA in Sociology/Health from the University of Florida.
Relationship CoachMen also engage in an affair when they are not appreciated by their partner and are personally dissatisfied. This causes them to seek comfort or excitement somewhere else outside the relationship. That's why communication is important because it fosters comprehension, confidence, and emotional affiliation. By having an open conversation about issues concerning each other, needs, worries, and feelings, partners resolve their issues before they arise, thus eliminating the likelihood of them looking to satisfy their needs in other affairs.
Video
Tips
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Don’t assume a guy is cheating on you. If he’s being secretive or he seems preoccupied with something, maybe he’s planning a surprise party for you or dealing with a personal issue he’s embarrassed about. Weigh the signs that he’s cheating as objectively and fairly as you can.Thanks
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If you do think that your man is cheating on you, talk to him about it. Either he denies it and you should be able to tell he’s lying to you, he admits it and you can take the next steps, or he demonstrates he’s not cheating. In any scenario, you’ll know more.Thanks
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Cheating is not the end of a relationship if you don’t want it to be. You can always recover emotionally and get back to the way things were if you take some time to heal and get therapy together.Thanks
References
- ↑ https://crsh.com/2015/10/30/why-men-cheat-the-top-3-reasons/
- ↑ https://www.foxnews.com/lifestyle/the-4-types-of-men-who-cheat-and-how-to-spot-them
- ↑ https://www.foxnews.com/lifestyle/the-4-types-of-men-who-cheat-and-how-to-spot-them
- ↑ https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/29244527/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/drawing-the-curtains-back/202205/infidelity-revenge
- ↑ https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/29244527/
- ↑ https://crsh.com/2015/10/30/why-men-cheat-the-top-3-reasons/
- ↑ https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2017/10/why-happy-people-cheat/537882/
- ↑ https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/love-sex/emotional-cheating-relationships-meaning-dating-b2134468.html
- ↑ https://www.forbes.com/sites/brucelee/2017/05/07/one-night-stand-isnt-cheating-says-27-what-it-means-to-your-health/?sh=32b67b634a15
- ↑ https://www.choosingtherapy.com/infidelity/
- ↑ https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/love-sex/emotional-cheating-relationships-meaning-dating-b2134468.html
- ↑ https://www.bonobology.com/7-types-affairs/
- ↑ https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/love-sex/emotional-cheating-relationships-meaning-dating-b2134468.html
- ↑ https://www.robertweissmsw.com/cheating-and-infidelity/why-do-men-cheat/
- ↑ https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/21667234/
- ↑ https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2010/08/16/129229205/men-who-make-less-more-likely-to-cheat
- ↑ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5709195/
- ↑ https://www.du.edu/news/once-cheater-always-cheater-du-study-examines-serial-infidelity
- ↑ https://www.du.edu/news/once-cheater-always-cheater-du-study-examines-serial-infidelity
- ↑ https://fcs.utah.edu/news/infidelity-wolfinger.php
- ↑ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5709195/