How to Ask Your Boyfriend to French Kiss

Co-authored by Eddy Baller

Last Updated: October 13, 2023 References

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While asking your partner to French kiss may seem complicated or even scary at first, French kissing can be a very fun and rewarding experience. It's a way to build a romantic and deeper bond with your boyfriend. So what are you waiting for?

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Asking For a French Kiss

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1
Start slowly.^{[1]
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Expert Source

Eddy Baller
Dating Coach

Expert Interview. 7 February 2020.} You should try to get your boyfriend in a romantic mood first, and lower the pressure with a few slower, warm up kisses first. Make these a few soft pecks after it's clear he's in the mood to kiss.^{[2]
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- Perhaps your boyfriend will start French kissing you without being asked if you seem receptive enough during the first kisses. The best approach is to wait a bit and see if it happens on its own. You will know he wants to kiss you when you make eye contact, and one or both of you moves closer to the other.
- Tilt your head to the side, and part your lips. Gently draw one of your boyfriend’s lips between your own as you kiss so your lips interlock a bit. Don’t be afraid to tilt your head a bit as this will signal renewed interest.
- You could say, "Let's go slow" to be clearer to your boyfriend, especially if he is inexperienced at kissing or you are.
- You could also acknowledge your nervousness by saying something like, "Hey, I'm a little nervous. Are you too?" He may appreciate your honesty. Remember, he might be just as nervous as you are.
- If he's a more experienced kisser, telling him something like, "I love kissing slowly at first" can help set the mood.
2
Rub your tongue over your partner’s lips. Because French kissing involves kissing with tongues, if you rub your tongue over your partner’s lips, it will give him the signal that you’re OK with French kissing.
- Do this lightly because it will be romantic to your partner and a bit teasing. That’s good. Sometimes your boyfriend might feel insecure and is looking to see if you’re all right with it.
- You could say something like, "You have really nice lips" as you rub your tongue over them, looking him briefly in the eye.
- Feel free then to gently push the tip of your tongue into your partner’s mouth. If your partner has any experience, he will probably then move his tongue deeper into your mouth.
3
Ask him to French kiss you while you are kissing. You could just come out and ask! Remember that he's probably nervous too.
- If you're kissing slowly and gently at first, more nibbling than French kissing, you could take a small step back, look him deeply in the eyes, and say, "I'd love to French kiss you right now, but I'm nervous because I've never done it before. Could you show me how?"
- Or you could say something like, "Want to try French kissing? I would love to try that with you."
- If you're worried about bad breath, just make sure you pop a mint or brush your teeth or spray mouth freshener into your mouth before the kissing starts!
4
Let him know if it's the first time. If you’re really nervous because you’ve never French kissed before, it’s OK for you to tell him that. Find the right place and time, which is when you are both alone and comfortable with each other.
- It might feel embarrassing at first, but he will probably appreciate your honesty, and it might excite him to think that he will be the first person to French kiss you. It's a good idea to have this conversation before you actually are kissing. Find a casual way to say it.
- For example, while you're driving in a car or eating dinner together, you could say, "This is hard for me to say, but I've never French kissed before! Maybe you can show me how later." Don't make it overly serious. You could also start the conversation with a question by asking him if he knows how to French kiss.
- This might entice him to show you how to French kiss. Remember that the best relationships are built upon a foundation of strong communication anyway. It's best to wait until you've been dating for a little bit before you have this conversation, though.
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Be patient.^{[4]
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Expert Source

Eddy Baller
Dating Coach

Expert Interview. 7 February 2020.} What if your boyfriend is not ready for French kissing? That's OK. Everyone needs to go at his or her own pace.
- Your boyfriend might just be nervous, so don't read too much into it if your boyfriend hasn't French kissed you unless you've been going out for months. In that case, you could ask why your boyfriend feels that way.
- If the relationship is new, you could just let the French kissing happen naturally. Let your boyfriend take the lead on it, and if he's not ready work on building your bond and connection by sharing time together and great conversations, rather than forcing the kissing.

Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

French Kissing Your Boyfriend

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1
Moisten your lips. Lick your lips so that they aren’t too dry. It will make him more likely to want to French kiss you if your lips look moist. Use chap stick or lip balm. ^{[5]
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- It’s probably best if you close your eyes for most of the kiss. It’s a little unnerving to most people if the person they are kissing is staring at them all of the time. Open your lips while French kissing.^{[6]
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- Angle your head to one side so that your noses don’t bump into each other. It’s usually a good idea to start with other kisses rather than immediately French kissing him.^{[7]
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2
Start French kissing him first. Never forget that you’re not the only one who’s nervous or a little insecure. He probably is too! So if he’s not taking the hint but seems into kissing you, you can initiative the French kiss yourself.
- Start by gently pushing the tip of your tongue into your partner’s mouth in order to assess his interest. If he doesn’t pull away, that’s your signal.
- Now find the tip of his tongue with your tongue. Gently brush against it with your tongue. That’s it! You’re French kissing!
3
Deepen the kiss. Once you’ve started the French kiss by touching each other’s tongues, if both are receptive, you can deepen the kiss.^{[8]
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Expert Source

Eddy Baller
Dating Coach

Expert Interview. 7 February 2020.}
- French kissing is very intimate and a way to bond with your boyfriend. Simply move your tongue deeper into your partner’s mouth to make more contact. A good kiss is a long one in which both tongues are touching.^{[9]
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- Thrust your tongue into his mouth with a little bit more forcefulness. If he’s as passionate about you as you are with him, he will likely move his tongue deeper into your mouth too, touching your tongue with his.

Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Mastering the Art of Kissing

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1
Kiss sensitive areas on his face. You don’t want to only French kiss endlessly. Break it up now and then with a little sensual kissing in other ways.
- For example, some men or boys have very sensitive ear lobes. Try kissing his ear lobe, his jawline, and his neck, and see how he responds. Embrace him.
- If your boyfriend seems to like this, you can move back and forth between such sensual kissing and French kissing. He will likely find it very tantalizing!
2
Become a great kisser. There are a few key tips to making yourself a better kisser. For one, no one wants to kiss someone who doesn’t take care of his or her breath. So make sure your breath is fresh and your mouth is clean.
- Pop a mint, brush your teeth, use mouthwash, or buy those little mouth freshener strips that dissolve in your mouth or mouth freshener you spray into your mouth if you’re looking for something portable.
- Go slowly. Don’t think you have to pummel his mouth like a jack hammer. The best kissing usually lets the intensity build and then dissipates before building again. Be sensual. Go slow.
3
Try not to use too much tongue. One mistake that beginning kissers make is they think they have to shove their entire tongue down their partner's throat.
- You don’t. You can just push your tongue into his mouth a little bit and let it dance around. Then thrust it in, but not so far that it feels like you are gagging your partner.
- Breathe through your nose when kissing. Try not to get saliva all over him. When you’re done with kissing him, wind it down back to the little warm up kisses rather than just suddenly stopping.

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Question

How can I tell if my boyfriend wants to French kiss?

Eddy Baller
Dating Coach
Eddy Baller is a Dating Coach and the Owner of a dating consulting and coaching service, Conquer and Win, based in Vancouver, Canada. Coaching since 2011, Eddy specializes in confidence building, advanced social skills, and relationships. Conquer and Win helps men worldwide have the love lives they deserve. His work has been featured in The Art of Manliness, LifeHack, and POF among others.

Eddy Baller

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

You have to make sure he's comfortable with it first. Try gauging his interest by touching his arm or giving light kisses.

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Question

What's the biggest mistake people make when French kissing?

Community Answer

Doing it too consistently hard. Few people like someone's tongue thrusting into their mouth hard for very long. Mix up the tongue speed. Try gentle in between the deeper kissing.

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Where should you put your hands when French kissing?

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Touch your partner. You could touch their face, their shoulders, or loop your hands around their back.

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