How to Kiss a Boy for the First Time

Co-authored by Eddy Baller

Last Updated: November 19, 2024 Fact Checked

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Kissing a boy for the first time can be scary, but it does not have to be. If you know what to do, it can be fun! This wikiHow will give you lots of tips on how to kiss a boy for the first time, including advice on technique and how to prepare for the kiss. These things are important as they can help guarantee you a second kiss!

Part 1

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Before the Kiss

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Make sure you have a fresh breath. Fresh breath is important for kissing because you want to give the boy as many excuses as possible to keep on kissing you. Try using lifesavers or mints and always brush your teeth before you meet up with him. Remember, bad breath isn't the end of the world but avoid it if you can.^{[1]
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- Try not to eat strong, spicy, or garlicky food before you see him. Again, if you can't avoid it, it's not a huge deal but it's better to avoid it altogether.
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Make sure you're looking good. You can't always plan when and where you'll kiss a boy, but you can try to be prepared. If you're dressed pretty and in a way you feel comfortable, you'll have a spring in your step. That means you will be more confident. More confidence means that there's a bigger chance the boy comes back to kiss you again.^{[2]
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- Don't necessarily wear lip-gloss, and don't wear heavy lipstick. Lip-gloss and lipstick, especially, will rub off on your partner, making him look sparkly or sloppy, depending on the situation. Stick with lip balm instead.
- Don't wear a bunch of accessories like hats, or wear your hair so that it gets in the way. Boys like natural beauty anyway. You may want to try kissing the boy when you have your hair up, so that he focuses only on you and the kiss, not the hair tickling his face.
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Public places are generally not so good for the first kiss, as you can get people staring at you or even heckling you. Try to find a place that's public, but still intimate, for you to share your first kiss.^{[3]
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Try doing something to break the touch jitters away by flirting physically. This will not only make him understand that you like him, but will also give him some time to adjust to you, so that you're not going from 0 to 100 in a second.^{[4]
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- Start with a little bit of light physical contact to try and basically build up the level of intimacy.^{[5]
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  Eddy Baller
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  Expert Interview. 7 February 2020.}
- Hold his hand or put your arms over his shoulders. Start moving your body so that he's much closer to you; it'll be awkward if you have to move a long way to kiss him.
- Touch his hair or face to make him know that you are interested. Gently touch his nose with your pointer finger and smile at him.
- You can even try hugging him first, and while you're still hugging him, lean back and go in for the kiss.^{[6]
  X
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  Eddy Baller
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  Expert Interview. 7 February 2020.} This creates a connection from the very moment you hug.
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Make sure that you both are ready for the kiss. This means both physically and emotionally. Kissing says "I like you more than just a friend," and it's sometimes hard to save a friendship after you have a relationship. If you're not sure whether you're doing the right thing, wait until you absolutely know.
- Look at him in the eye. While he's watching you, look slowly towards his lips and back again. If he does the same to you, then he's ready. If he looks a bit uncomfortable and looks away, it's best to leave it for a while.
EXPERT TIP

John Keegan
Dating Coach
John Keegan is a Dating Coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. With over 10 years of professional experience, he runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health.

John Keegan
Dating Coach

Ease into your first kiss. Start with a casual touch, like holding hands. As comfort grows, progress to a gentle arm around the shoulder. Read his body language–sustained eye contact and corresponding touch are positive signs. If all feels right, lean in slowly and wait for his response.

Part 2

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During the Kiss

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Move your lips towards him slowly, closing your eyes at the last second. You need to be able to see so that you can aim for his lips, but you don't want to keep your eyes open while you kiss, so close them right before your lips lock.^{[7]
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- Keep your eyes closed during the whole kiss. When the kiss ends, you can open your eyes and you gently pull away.
- Move into the kiss at an angle. That means if his face is straight up and down, you probably want yours tilted a bit to the left or right — whichever is more comfortable. This helps keep you from bumping noses together when you kiss.
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Use mostly your lower lip for kissing. Don't pucker up your lips like you've just had a bunch of Sour Patch Kids, or like you're kissing grandma. Keeps your lips loose and try to relax.^{[8]
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- Give him one long kiss. You don't have to do anything fancy to get his attention the first time.
- Your big goal is to get him to come back for seconds. Give him just enough so that he's interested, not so much that he's bored. Try to keep the first kiss to under 20 seconds if you can.
- Breathe in and out gently through your nose. Try not to breathe into his throat or onto his lips.
- Don't French kiss on the first kiss. The French kiss is an advanced kiss, so save it for when you really want to blow his mind.
This just means opening your lips a bit and maybe kissing his lower lip with both of your lips. Don't make it last too long — about 5 seconds — and be prepared to pull away soon.
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During the kiss, put your hands around his back and lean towards him.^{[9]
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Eddy Baller
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Expert Interview. 7 February 2020.} That way, you can get double the bargain! If he puts his hands around your back or waist, it means he's very protective of you and you could be onto a winner!
- If he plays with your hair or gently strokes your cheek, it's a sign that he's very in-touch with his feeling, and he definitely likes you.
- Remember to try to keep your eyes closed the whole time. No peeking! Your attention should be entirely on his lips and the kiss.

Part 3

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After the Kiss

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As you move away from the kiss, open your eyes. Now would be the time to take a look at the boy you've just shared a kiss with. If you did a good job, he'll be flushed, heavy-eyed, and smiling.^{[10]
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- Smile back at him. He may be nervous about how he kissed, so you'll probably want to convince him that he did a good job. You can do this by smiling.
- If your arms are still around him, leave them there for a few seconds before taking them away. It might feel weird if you suddenly take your hands away as soon as the kiss is done.
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Say something nice about him, if you feel like it. Sometimes, the kiss itself is enough of a statement. Sometimes, you'll want to say a little something after the kiss, like:
- "You're a good kisser."
- "I've been wanting to do that for a long time."
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Listen to what your heart tells you. So, you've finally kissed the boy that you've been dying to kiss for the last six months. What now? You have several options:
- Wait for him to make the next move. If you went in for the first kiss, maybe you think it's his turn to initiate the next kiss. Be yourself, do what you normally do, but be friendly and encouraging around him. He should try to kiss you again.
- Kiss him whenever you want to. Maybe you don't care that much about who kisses whom, as long as there's kissing. That's fine, just make sure that he's into it, too. Kissing him often is likely to lead to a relationship.
- Break off the kissing. Maybe he wasn't that good of a kisser, or he touched you in the wrong place, or you just get a bad feel from him. That's OK. Try to still be friendly around him, but don't put yourself in situations (i.e. one-on-one, private setting) where he could kiss you again.
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Remember kissing etiquette. There are some unspoken rules that you should know about kissing. Pay attention and try to follow them if you can and they make sense to you.
- Don't kiss and tell. We know — it's very easy to do. That doesn't mean it's right. What goes on between you and your crush is between you and your crush. Try not to gossip too much about it.
- Don't kiss when you are sick and likely to spread germs. Kissing is a very intimate thing, but that doesn't mean that your kissing partner wants every single part of you, including your cold. Try not to kiss when you are feeling under the weather.
- Kiss one person, not everyone. Kissing may be fun, but that doesn't mean that it sends the right message to go out and kiss everyone you want. Focus on one person you really like, try things out, and then move on to someone else if that doesn't work out. You'll be appreciated a lot more, and you'll probably be happier.

Join the Discussion...

I learned the average age for a first kiss is 15...

68

WikiRiverDancer770

I'm 25 and haven't had my first kiss yet. I can't help but feel like I'm behind :( I feel hopless about my love life. Am I just doomed to be alon... Read More

2

Eddy Baller
Dating Coach

For your first kiss, take it easy and build up to the moment. Start with a little bit of light physical contact. You might start by massaging her... Read More

68

WikiRiverDancer770

I'm 25 and haven't had my first kiss yet. I can't help but feel like I'm behind :( I feel hopless about my love life. Am I just doomed to be alon... Read More

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Avoid Awkward Kisses with this Expert Series

Are you worried about having a bad kiss? These expert articles will build your confidence and help you avoid awkward situations.

Move in Effectively for a Kiss

How to Avoid an Awkward First Kiss

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What's wrong with keeping our eyes open while kissing?

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It's not "wrong" to keep your eyes open during a kiss; however, scientific studies have found that it's difficult to focus on physical sensations (e.g., kissing) when your eyes are focused on something else, so closing them helps you and your partner to focus on how the kiss feels. (There's also the fact that extended eye contact can feel awkward or frightening to some people, and when you kiss, your eyes are level with your partner's; if your eyes are open, you're forced to make eye contact.)

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What if he backs away when I kiss him?

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Backing away means he's not interested in kissing you - it's body language for "I'm uncomfortable with this" or "You're invading my personal space, please back away." Before you kiss someone, it's generally a good idea to lean in a bit and give the other person a moment before you actually go in for the kiss; if he takes the moment to back away, turn his head away or starts talking, that means he doesn't want to kiss and you should pull back.

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What age do I have to be to kiss a boy?

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It would depend on who you ask, but there's no real right answer. Some people would recommend waiting until you're in middle school or high school, while others might say to just wait until you feel ready. Talk to your parents about whether they have rules on when you're allowed to start dating, and don't feel pressured to kiss anyone before you're ready.

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Tips

Don't ever expect him to kiss you right away, it might take a little time before he trusts you completely.

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If they are around you all the time walk somewhere a bit more private and kiss if he says no or pulls away say sorry and let him do it next time. Remember not kissing them yet doesn't mean the end of the relationship or world it just means you are moving faster than they are.

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Don't lick your lips before you kiss. You don't want a wet kiss.

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Warnings

Make sure you aren't doing it just because you're desperate; make sure you actually like him. It's not nice to have the reputation that you'll kiss anyone and everyone.

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Make sure your partner is ready, don't just jump in all of a sudden. You will both have to look at each other's actions before you kiss him.

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If you have braces, make sure there are no sharp bits, otherwise your partner might cut their lips or tongue!

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Remember that if you feel uncomfortable at any time you have the right to pull away. Don't do anything that you don't want to do!

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Always be sure that you don't let the guy with that you are sharing your first kiss get the wrong idea about what you want him to do toward you. Touching him in the wrong places may let him think that you want more than what you have bargained for.

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If it's your first kiss, make sure that it is just you two alone together, as kissing in front of friends can be uncomfortable. You don't want to feel like they are scrutinizing your kiss with him.
- It isn't a good idea to kiss in public places such as a building's lobby. There may be regulations that ban this and force them to evacuate the enclosure and that's very uncomfortable.
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Don't chew gum; it builds saliva. Saliva is an anti-bacterial, so in moderation, it is good. But no one wants to feel like they're kissing a dog.^{[11]
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