How to Ask Your Crush out in Five Minutes

Co-authored by Collette Gee

Last Updated: July 29, 2024 References

Asking your crush out can seem scary, but it doesn’t have to be! There are many quick ways you can easily and directly ask your crush out. If you’re a little too nervous to ask them out directly, you can drop some hints instead that tell them you’re interested in going out and let you see how they respond; from there you can figure out how you should proceed.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Working Up Your Courage

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1
Give yourself a pep talk beforehand. Remember that the more practice you get with asking people out, the better you will get at it. Try to think of this as getting good practice. Look in a mirror at home and give a list of all your good qualities, like “you’re smart, you’re talented, you’re good at music,” etc.^{[1]
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- Remember that each time you ask a person out, it gets you one step closer to getting a yes from the right person. You will eventually meet someone who’s right for you.
2
Try not to worry too much about being rejected. Getting rejected happens to everyone at some point. You should try not to think of getting rejected as the same as being a loser, or being someone not worth going out with. There are many reasons people say no to dates, including they are really busy or they are already seeing someone else.^{[2]
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- If your crush says no, it’s not an attack on you as a person. They probably just have their own reasons. You will eventually find someone who’s interested in going out with you.
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Ask a professional athlete what most helps them before a successful game, and most will tell you that they visualize completing good plays, a win, or crossing the finish line first. Visualizing what you want helps it to happen. It also helps your nerves because you see yourself getting what you want instead of what you don’t want.^{[3]
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A great way to calm your nerves before doing something you’re anxious about is to take deep breaths. Getting more oxygen helps you to physically relax, which helps you to emotionally relax as well. Take 3-5 deep breaths before you know you’ll see your crush, or as you’re walking up to them.^{[4]
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5
Plan to walk straight up to your crush immediately when you see them. When you see your crush, you shouldn’t wait to walk up to them because this will give you more time to get nervous and perhaps change your mind. If you walk up to them and ask them out immediately when you see them, you’ll get it over with quickly instead of getting more anxious.^{[5]
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- Take deep breaths and tell yourself, “I can do this, it will be fine” as you walk up to your crush when you see them.

Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Asking Directly

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1
Smile and be confident. The most important part of asking out your crush is your attitude. Even if you’re nervous, make eye contact, stand up straight, and smile. Remember that people are attracted to positive, confident people, so keep smiling and telling yourself that you’re awesome and anyone should want to go out with you.^{[6]
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- Try practicing in the mirror how you’re going to ask your crush out. This can give you a chance to see how you look and adjust your body language if you think you should.
2
Ask, “Do you want to go out with me?” as the simplest approach. This is the fastest and most direct way to ask your crush out. They will either say yes, no, or stammer for a minute before responding because they’re taken aback. It’s not a bad thing if they’re taken aback; some people like being surprised and will view your directness as a positive quality.^{[7]
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- While you don't have to plan out exactly what you're going to say in advance, do take the time to think about your approach. That way, you can still go with the flow, but you'll feel prepared and confident.^{[8]
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  Collette Gee
  Relationship Coach & Certified Violence Prevention Specialist
  
  Expert Interview. 1 May 2020.}
- There are slight variations to this question that you can choose from to fit your individual conversation style, including “Do you want to go out sometime?”, “We should go out sometime, don’t you think?”, or “I’d love to go out with you sometime, what do you say?” Pick one according to your preference.
3
Compliment them then ask them out to catch their attention. Think about what makes this person your crush and say it out loud to them. It could be a general compliment, like “I think you’re so cute,” or something more specific like, “I was so impressed with your speech/game/performance the other day.” Right after the compliment, ask if they want to go out with you sometime.^{[9]
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- Most people love hearing a compliment, and even if they hadn’t thought about being interested in you before, hearing your compliment and interest in going out will make them at least consider it.
4
Get tickets to an event and ask if they want to go to show your confidence. Choose a movie or concert that you think your crush would like to see and buy 2 tickets. Take the tickets with you next time you see them and tell them you have tickets to the specific movie or concert before asking them to go.^{[10]
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- This approach allows your crush to see how confident you are that they’d like to go somewhere with you.
- If you already know this person well, there’s a chance they won’t realize your idea is a date. If this the case, point out to them sometime before you go, or during the event, that this is a date.
- Even if they say no, you still have tickets for something fun and you can invite a friend instead!
5
Pass them a “Do you want to go out?” note if you don’t want to ask out loud. This method is popular with students, but you can use it regardless of your age. Write the question “Do you want to go out?” on a piece of paper, then write the options “Yes,” “No,” and “Maybe” below it. You’ll get your answer without necessarily having to talk about it.^{[11]
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- Try smiling at your crush as they read your note. This will let them know you’re being fun with how you’re asking them out.
- If they say yes, have a couple of date ideas ready to discuss with them.
6
Suggest a group date if a one-on-one date sounds too scary. If you already have plans with your friends this weekend and think your crush may be interested in coming along, ask them to join the group. Say, “Hey a bunch of us are going swimming this weekend, would you like to go?”
- This option works really well if the group that’s going includes couples.
7
Say, “What a long day. Want to grab some food/a drink after school/work?” If your crush is a person you work with or go to school with, use venting about work or school as a way to go out with them. If they are frustrated with work or school too and they like spending time with you there, chances are they’ll say yes.
- This is another option where, if you already know each other well, the person may not realize this is a date. Mention to them at some point that you were thinking of this as a date, or toward the end of the date say, “This was fun. Would you like to go out again sometime?”
8
Smile and say, “No problem” if they say no. Even if you feel embarrassed about being rejected, try to play it off as no big deal. Remember that there could be many reasons your crush said no, including they’re already dating someone else, they just got out of a relationship, or they feel they are too busy to date.
- Don’t worry too much about being rejected; it happens to people all the time, and you’ll find someone who’s interested in you eventually.

Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Dropping Hints

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1
Walk up to a stranger, smile, and say “Hi.” If you’re crushing on someone you don’t know, a great way to express your interest is by simply approaching them. After you say hi, tell them your name and ask them theirs. Continue smiling as you come up with small talk questions, such as “What grade are you in?” or “Do you come here often?”^{[12]
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- Most people will understand the signal that a stranger approaching them and starting a conversation means that they’re interested. If they make eye contact with you and smile back, they may be interested in you too. Continue talking with them until you feel it’s a good time to ask them out.
2
Give them your number. This is a way to let someone know you’re interested in them without coming out and saying it. Write your name and number down a piece of paper, fold it, and hand it to them. Then smile and walk away.^{[13]
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- If your crush is interested you, they’ll call or text you. If not, and they are someone you don’t see regularly, you won’t have to worry about it again!
3
Get a friend to tell them you think they’re cute. This is another way to give a signal that you’re interested without having to uncomfortably wait for a reaction. It works well whether you already know the person or not.^{[14]
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- If your crush is interested in you too, they will probably tell your friend this, or approach you at a later point in time. You can then confidently ask them out.
4
Start dancing with them if you’re at a party. Parties are great places to meet people, and if you spot someone you’re attracted to who’s dancing, walk up to them and start dancing with them. If they’re interested, they’ll keep dancing with you and possibly talk to you. If not, they’ll probably wander away from you shortly.^{[15]
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- Be sure to not grab the person or invade their personal space when you do this. Maintain a small distance and make eye contact with them. Don’t stare at other parts of their body, make overtly sexual gestures while dancing, or otherwise make them uncomfortable.
5
Ask “Are you single?” if you don’t know the person. If your crush is someone you’ve seen from afar, you can simply go up to them and ask if they’re already seeing someone. Try “I couldn’t help but noticing you. Are you seeing anyone by chance?”
- If they are already with someone, they’ll tell you. If not, and they’re interested in you, they will tell you they’re single and ask about you.

Conversation Help

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Asking Out Your Crush over Text

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Question

How do I ask my crush out without being awkward?

Collette Gee
Dating Coach
Collette Gee is a Relationship Coach, Certified Violence Prevention Specialist, the Author of "Finding Happily… No Rules, No Frogs, No Pretending." Focusing on creating meaningful romantic relationships, Collette uses her experience having worked in the mental health industry as a psych nurse to conduct relationship coaching, online courses, and workshops to help women and men find lasting love. Prior to Collette's coaching business, she worked in the mental health field as a psych nurse which has helped inform her practice to create and sustain happy, healthy meaningful romantic relationships. Her work has been featured on TLC, London Live, the Huffington Post, and CNN.

Collette Gee

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

Try to keep your body language open! Avoid crossing your arms over your chest, for instance, as this can make you seem closed off. Then, if your crush says yes, say, “Great!” and ask where they’d like to go, or suggest a date idea. Then, be sure to follow through on your plans.

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Question

What are some mistakes people make when they're asking someone out?

Collette Gee
Dating Coach
Collette Gee is a Relationship Coach, Certified Violence Prevention Specialist, the Author of "Finding Happily… No Rules, No Frogs, No Pretending." Focusing on creating meaningful romantic relationships, Collette uses her experience having worked in the mental health industry as a psych nurse to conduct relationship coaching, online courses, and workshops to help women and men find lasting love. Prior to Collette's coaching business, she worked in the mental health field as a psych nurse which has helped inform her practice to create and sustain happy, healthy meaningful romantic relationships. Her work has been featured on TLC, London Live, the Huffington Post, and CNN.

Collette Gee

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

The biggest mistake I see is hesitation—either they don't do it at all or they choose a roundabout way of asking instead of being direct. Another common mistake I see is asking someone out, but not actually having a plan for what you want to do.

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Question

How do you ask your crush if they are ready to date, but not saying the exact words?

Allison Batera Sullivan

Community Answer

If you know your crush is recently out of a different relationship, you can make conversation about it by asking if they still talk to that person, etc. You'll get an indication on if they're ready to date by their reaction to your question. If you've been spending time with them as friends and want to know if they're ready to date you, you can drop hints by saying you think they're cute or attractive, and see what their reaction to that type of conversation is.

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