How to Handle Being Gay or Lesbian

Co-authored by Kateri Berasi, PsyD

Last Updated: January 25, 2024

Accepting yourself for who you are, regardless of your sexual orientation, isn't easy for everyone. Accepting yourself as a gay or lesbian is an even more difficult task. Here are some suggestions for accepting oneself as an LGBTQ+ person.

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Accept and understand that you are a wonderful and awesome human being, regardless of your sexual orientation. It's just a part of who you are to be LGBTQ.
"You're worth it," claims the advertisement. You aren't a mistake, an anomaly, or a freak; you are a person with unique sexual and romantic inclinations. You can still seek love and joy in your romantic life, as well as academic or professional achievement and success, just like everyone else.

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Find support. Discuss coming out and accepting yourself with other gay and lesbian people. While everyone's experiences will be different, most will agree that accepting themselves and coming out was a great milestone in their life. Consider joining a support organization—a college LGBTQ group, a Gay-Straight Alliance, a queer youth group, or talking anonymously to a support helpline or online support forum if you can't find somebody to talk to.
- It's a good idea to work with a therapist as well. When scheduling a consultation with a professional, ask them if they have experience working with LGBTQ+ folks, if they have any difficulties with this population present, and what is their general approach when working with LGBTQ+ folks.
It is still worthwhile to come out to family and friends, even if it may have negative implications. You may lose a few friends who don't accept you for who you are, but do you really want to be friends with them if they can't stand hanging out with the real you? Tell your closest friends first, then your family and others once you're comfortable and happy. The more you do it, the easier and less frightening it becomes, yet it is still necessary.
For lesbian, asexual, bisexual, and LGBTQ individuals equally, relationships are fun and meaningful aspects of life. When you're happy with yourself, they're even more delightful. So go out and enjoy yourselves. Make it a point to engage in activities that bring you delight. Allow no one to make fun of you or make you feel inferior because of your sexual orientation.h

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Can I be Christian and LGBT at the same time?

Kateri Berasi, PsyD
Licensed Clinical Psychologist
Dr. Kateri Berasi is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist and the Founder of Transcendent Self, PLLC, a group therapy practice offering affirmative, collaborative, and intentional care, based in Brooklyn, New York. With over ten years of experience in the mental health field, Dr. Berasi specializes in working with adults from the LGBTQIA+ community and creative industries through individual therapy, couples counseling, group therapy, and costume therapy. She holds a BA in Psychology, Art History, and French Language and Literature from George Washington University and an MA and MEd in Mental Health Counseling from Columbia University. Dr. Berasi also holds a PsyD in Clinical Psychology from Long Island University.

Kateri Berasi, PsyD

Licensed Clinical Psychologist

Expert Answer

Well, sure! Remember that Christianity, at its core, is about love and acceptance of one another and treating others with respect and dignity. There are many churches that are welcoming to gay parishoners and even some churches with openly gay pastors. Do your best to seek these out to feel affirmed and supported!

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Tips

If you're looking for individuals to support you, try putting yourself in new situations.

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If you want to, get involved in the LGBT community.

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Queer clubs in high school are usually great places for friendships and partnerships with LGBT friendly people.

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Warnings

Don't anticipate this to happen in a day or two. It will take some time to accept yourself. Just keep your patience and perseverance, and it will happen.

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