This article was co-authored by Marissa Floro, PhD and by wikiHow staff writer, Dev Murphy, MA. Dr. Marissa Floro, Ph.D. is a Psychologist and Instructor at Stanford University’s Weiland Health Initiative and adjunct faculty at the University of San Francisco. Dr. Floro received her Ph.D. in Counseling Psychology from Loyola University Chicago, focusing on the intersections of race, attraction, and gender. Dr. Floro’s continued clinical, teaching, and advocacy work focuses on sexual and gender diversity, racial identity and belonging, and liberation from oppressive systems and structures.
This article has been fact-checked, ensuring the accuracy of any cited facts and confirming the authority of its sources.
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Maybe your gal pal is dating a dude, but you swear there’s electricity between you—or maybe you’re wondering if the hottie you recently met is flirting with you, or if it’s all your imagination? We sat down with Dr. Marissa Floro, Ph.D., a psychologist and professor at Stanford University’s Weiland Health Initiative, to get some insight into the possible signs a woman might be into other women. There’s no surefire way to tell if someone is bisexual or gay, but there are a few subtle and overt signs she might lean more lesbian than you (or even she) realized. We've listed them, below.
Things You Should Know
- Notice if she seems attracted in some way to other women or goes out of her way to be around them.
- Ask her casually about her past dating experience or celebrity crushes to find out if she has had any feelings for women before.
- Look at whether her body language becomes more open or expressive around other women, or if she makes prolonged eye contact with them.
Steps
Expert Q&A
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QuestionCan I assume that someone with a rainbow pride pin is bisexual?Marissa Floro, PhDDr. Marissa Floro, Ph.D. is a Psychologist and Instructor at Stanford University’s Weiland Health Initiative and adjunct faculty at the University of San Francisco. Dr. Floro received her Ph.D. in Counseling Psychology from Loyola University Chicago, focusing on the intersections of race, attraction, and gender. Dr. Floro’s continued clinical, teaching, and advocacy work focuses on sexual and gender diversity, racial identity and belonging, and liberation from oppressive systems and structures.
Counseling PsychologistThey may not necessarily be bisexual, but it's probably reasonable to assume that they may be LGBTQ+. They could just be a cisgender and heterosexual ally, but it's not a crazy assumption to make. -
QuestionWhy are some women not more open about being bisexual?Marissa Floro, PhDDr. Marissa Floro, Ph.D. is a Psychologist and Instructor at Stanford University’s Weiland Health Initiative and adjunct faculty at the University of San Francisco. Dr. Floro received her Ph.D. in Counseling Psychology from Loyola University Chicago, focusing on the intersections of race, attraction, and gender. Dr. Floro’s continued clinical, teaching, and advocacy work focuses on sexual and gender diversity, racial identity and belonging, and liberation from oppressive systems and structures.
Counseling PsychologistThere is a lot of cruelty and bigotry out there towards people who are LGBTQ+. As a result, the people in these communities often play things close to the chest so to speak, since it's a way of protecting yourself from the intolerant people in the world. -
QuestionIt's really hard to figure out if I'm talking to another bi person. How can I get better at this?Marissa Floro, PhDDr. Marissa Floro, Ph.D. is a Psychologist and Instructor at Stanford University’s Weiland Health Initiative and adjunct faculty at the University of San Francisco. Dr. Floro received her Ph.D. in Counseling Psychology from Loyola University Chicago, focusing on the intersections of race, attraction, and gender. Dr. Floro’s continued clinical, teaching, and advocacy work focuses on sexual and gender diversity, racial identity and belonging, and liberation from oppressive systems and structures.
Counseling PsychologistYour intuition is going to improve with this over time. It can be hard at first, but as you keep meeting more and more people, you'll naturally start getting better at picking up on the hints people drop.
Video
Tips
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Remember—although it’s getting easier, it can be hard for people to admit they are bisexual to families and friends or even themselves.[14]Thanks
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Ask yourself why it's your business to know. Sexuality is a very personal thing. If you're interested in her romantically yourself, that's one thing. If you're just being nosy, that's another.Thanks
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Avoid easy labels. They often don't capture the full humanity of a person anyway.Thanks
References
- ↑ Marissa Floro, PhD. Counseling Psychologist. Expert Interview. 1 April 2021.
- ↑ Marissa Floro, PhD. Counseling Psychologist. Expert Interview. 1 April 2021.
- ↑ https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20210610-why-more-women-identify-as-sexually-fluid-than-men
- ↑ https://www.thetrevorproject.org/resources/guide/the-coming-out-handbook/
- ↑ Marissa Floro, PhD. Counseling Psychologist. Expert Interview. 1 April 2021.
- ↑ Marissa Floro, PhD. Counseling Psychologist. Expert Interview. 1 April 2021.
- ↑ Marissa Floro, PhD. Counseling Psychologist. Expert Interview. 1 April 2021.
- ↑ Marissa Floro, PhD. Counseling Psychologist. Expert Interview. 1 April 2021.
- ↑ Marissa Floro, PhD. Counseling Psychologist. Expert Interview. 1 April 2021.
- ↑ Marissa Floro, PhD. Counseling Psychologist. Expert Interview. 1 April 2021.
- ↑ Marissa Floro, PhD. Counseling Psychologist. Expert Interview. 1 April 2021.
- ↑ Marissa Floro, PhD. Counseling Psychologist. Expert Interview. 1 April 2021.
- ↑ Marissa Floro, PhD. Counseling Psychologist. Expert Interview. 1 April 2021.
- ↑ https://www.thetrevorproject.org/resources/guide/the-coming-out-handbook/
About This Article
To tell if another woman is bisexual, see if she notices women as well as men, and makes sexualized comments about them. She may also go out of her way to sit next to a woman or approach women in places, like bars or clubs. When you talk to her, ask about her past experiences with other women, since she’s more likely to be bisexual if she’s kissed a girl. If you don’t feel close enough to the woman to talk about her past, ask her what celebrity she has a crush on to see if she picks a female. Alternatively, try asking her what she thinks of bisexuality or whether she’s ever found another woman attractive, which are ways to gauge her attitude without directly asking if she’s bisexual. For tips on how to tell if a woman is bisexual by looking at her body language, keep reading!
Reader Success Stories
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"I am married and straight. I love watching female porn when I masturbate. I have not shared any of my sexual feelings with my husband but cannot get these thoughts of women out of my mind when I pleasure myself. Am I bi or just curious?"..." more