How to Innocently Flirt with a Guy over Text (Lowkey Ways to Flirt)

Written by Collette Gee | Edited by Hannah Madden

Last Updated: September 6, 2024 Fact Checked

When you’re texting a guy that you like, sending a few flirty messages is a great way to feel out his interest. But if you aren’t sure whether they like you back or not, how do you flirt with them without making it too obvious? We’ve compiled a list of flirty-yet-subtle messages you can send to your crush to make him fall for you over text.

This article is based on an interview with our professional dating coach, Collette Gee. Check out the full interview here.

1

Give him a compliment.

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A subtle compliment is a great way to show you like him. Everyone likes to hear nice things about themselves, and the guy you like is no exception! Send him a quick text telling him that you liked his outfit today or that his hair looked nice. Try something like:^{[1]
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Expert Source

Collette Gee
Dating Coach

Expert Interview. 20 August 2021.}
- “Did you do something different with your hair? It looked really good today.”
- “That blue shirt really brings out your eyes!”
- “You have the best smile!”
- Reader Poll: We asked 228 wikiHow readers and 58% of them agreed that their favorite type of compliments to receive are ones about their character or personality. [Take Poll] So try something related to who he is on the inside, like “I really admire your ambition” or “You’re so thoughtful.”

2

Ask him a question about himself.

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Show him that you’re interested in his life and what he’s up to. If you know he’s in an extracurricular activity, you could ask him about that; or, if you know anything about his family, check in to see how they’re doing. The more you show that you care about him and want to know more about him, the more he’ll probably start to like you.^{[2]
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Expert Source

John Keegan
Dating Coach

Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.} You might ask something like:^{[3]
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Expert Source

Collette Gee
Dating Coach

Expert Interview. 20 August 2021.}
- “How’s basketball going this season?”
- “Did you end up going out of town last weekend?”

3

Tease him (but just a little).

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A playful message will make him chuckle and have a little fun with you. Don’t be afraid to throw a witty jab in there every now and again!^{[4]
X
Expert Source

John Keegan
Dating Coach

Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.} Don’t say anything too mean (since that could make him think you don’t like him), but try joking about something nerdy he does or a weird TV show that he likes. Throw an emoji into the message, just in case he thinks you’re being serious. You could say:^{[5]
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Expert Source

Collette Gee
Dating Coach

Expert Interview. 20 August 2021.}
- “Wow, you’ve never seen Twilight? We can’t be friends anymore!”
- “Doing your homework early, huh? Didn’t realize I was talking to a genius over here.😉”

4

Start a flirtatious debate.

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Pick a totally not-serious topic, then ask for his opinion. If you can both pick opposite sides, you’ll have a fun, flirty debate going over text. Not only will you get to show off your sense of humor, but you can lightly tease him about his opinion, too.^{[6]
X
Expert Source

John Keegan
Dating Coach

Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.} Try something like:^{[7]
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Trustworthy Source

HelpGuide
Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources.

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- “Pineapple on pizza: yes or no?”
- “Is a hot dog a sandwich?”
- “Would you rather fight 1 horse-sized duck or 10 duck-sized horses?”

5

Tell him you had a dream about him.

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Even if it’s not true, you can make him think that it is. This will get him wondering what exactly he was doing running through your mind all night. To get him thinking even more, play it cool, and don’t tell him exactly what he did in your dream (even if it was something totally lame). You could say something like:^{[8]
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Research source}
- “I had a dream about you last night, and I don’t think you want to know about it.”
- “I can’t even get away from you while I sleep! I had a dream about you last night!”
- “If you really twist my arm, I’ll tell you what you were doing in my dream last night.”

6

Talk about his latest social media post.

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Check to see if he posted anything interesting on Instagram or Twitter. Make sure you’ve liked it so he knows you’ve seen it, then shoot him a text about it. Not only will it show that you like talking to him, but it will tell him that you keep up to date on his life through social media.^{[9]
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- For instance, if he posts a pic of himself at the beach, you could text him, “I liked your pic on Insta! Which beach was that?”
- If he Tweets about a movie he just watched, you could say, “What’d you think of that movie? I kinda wanna go see it, but the reviews are pretty blah.”

7

Show off your sense of humor.

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The funnier you are, the more he’ll like chatting with you. When you two text, don’t be afraid to tell him a few jokes or describe something silly that happened to you earlier. Flirting and laughing go hand-in-hand, so the more you can make him laugh, the better!^{[10]
X
Expert Source

John Keegan
Dating Coach

Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.} Try something like:^{[11]
X
Trustworthy Source

HelpGuide
Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources.

Go to source}
- “What did the cat say to her boyfriend? You’re purr-fect for me!”
- “The funniest thing happened to me today! I was walking and texting at the same time, and I ran right into a pole. 3 people saw me!!”

8

Send him a meme.

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This is another way to get him laughing. If you find something silly online that you think he’ll like, send it to him with a message like, “This made me think of you!” He’ll probably be flattered that he was on your mind, and you might even have a fun conversation about the meme.^{[12]
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Research source}
- Not sure what to send? No problem! Try searching “#meme” on Instagram or Twitter to find something that makes you chuckle.

9

Add a few flirty emojis.

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Some kissy faces and hearts are sure to let him know you’re interested. You don’t have to use an emoji in every message, but a few well-placed ones throughout your convo will give him the hint that you like him. As you chat, try using emojis like:^{[13]
X
Expert Source

Collette Gee
Dating Coach

Expert Interview. 20 August 2021.}
- “Missed you in school today!😘”
- “Hey, what’s up?😊”
- “How’s it going? 💖”

10

Invite him to hang out in a group.

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This is a more subtle way to get him to meet up with you. If you two have been chatting for a while and you’d like to hang out in person, you can do it subtly by putting together a group hang. Invite some of your friends and a few of his friends to hang out, then ask him if he wants to join. Hopefully, he’ll say yes, and you can continue your flirtation in-person.^{[14]
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Research source}
- Try something like, “I was thinking of going bowling with a few people tomorrow. Wanna join?”
- Or, “I think my friends and I are going to a movie tomorrow. Wanna come with?”

11

Invite him to an event.

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If you’re playing a match or putting on a performance, see if he wants to come. Inviting someone to an event like this shows him that you want him there, and it can be a great way to strengthen your bond. Send him a quick message telling that you’d love to see him there. Go for something like:^{[15]
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- “I have a soccer match tomorrow, I’d love to see you rooting for me on the sidelines.”
- “Want to swing by my art showing this weekend? It would be so nice to see your face.”

Join the Discussion...

How do you flirt over text? I'm so bad at it

35

WikiSkyDancer007

Ugh, I'm getting so flustered with this guy I've been texting lately! It feels like he has all the right things to say and is SO cute about it, a... Read More

3

Cher Gopman
Dating Coach

I think if you are trying to flirt through text messages, it's okay to use emojis here and there. You don't want to overuse them, because that'll... Read More

1

WikiMongooseChaser121

A little bit of joking or teasing can help create a playful mood that's good for flirting... Read More

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