This article was co-authored by Tara Vossenkemper, PhD, LPC and by wikiHow staff writer, Finn Kobler. Dr. Tara Vossenkemper is a Licensed Professional Counselor and the Founder and Managing Director of The Counseling Hub, LLC, a group counseling practice located in Columbia, Missouri. She is also the Founder of and a Business Consultant with Tara Vossenkemper Consulting, LLC, a consulting service for therapy practice owners. With over twelve years of experience, she specializes in using the Gottman Method of relationship therapy with couples on the brink of divorce, who have conflict, or who feel disconnected from one another. Dr. Vossenkemper holds a BA in Psychology from The University of Missouri, Saint Louis, an MA in Counseling from Missouri Baptist University, and a PhD in Counselor Education and Supervision from The University of Missouri, Saint Louis. She has also completed Level 3 training in the Gottman Method Couples Therapy approach and has been formally trained in both the Prepare-Enrich Premarital Couples Counseling approach and the PREP Approach for couples counseling.
There are 18 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page.
This article has been fact-checked, ensuring the accuracy of any cited facts and confirming the authority of its sources.
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So there’s someone in your life who makes you smile and gives you butterflies. But how can you tell if you’re genuinely falling for them or just enamored by a powerful crush? And do you just love this person or are you truly in love? In this article, we’ll answer all your questions and more, going over a dozen signs you’re in love and then offering expert insight into what love feels like on a psychological and emotional level. Finally, we’ll differentiate between loving and being in love. Keep reading to find out if these warm and exhilarating feelings are the early bloom of a budding romance.
Things You Should Know
- If you notice yourself taking more risks, planning for a more hopeful future, or taking steps to better yourself, odds are you’re falling in love.
- When you fall in love, your body releases hormones like dopamine that may make you feel excited, euphoric, and/or anxious.
- Love is different from being in love. When you’re in love, the feelings of love are involuntary and there’s an added element of romantic attraction.
Steps
How Do You Know If You Love Someone?
wikiHow Quiz: Am I In Love?
Expert Q&A
Video
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Share a quick video tip and help bring articles to life with your friendly advice. Your insights could make a real difference and help millions of people!
Tips
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Love transforms the longer you're with somebody. It deepens and grows richer. So the definition of being "in love" may look different from person to person and time to time.Thanks
Tips from our Readers
- When you feel safe. When you get to the point where you know you could trust them with anything that you tell them and can't bear to keep anything from them. When you want to be with them in a more romantic way, yet you still talk to them like a best friend. When you are happy when they send you a text saying hi, just because they took the time to message you.
- When you love someone, you're willing to give up your time to be with them. All you want is to be with that special person and do everything together. You don't care what others think, you just know they're perfect for you.
- If they can tell you the deepest parts of their past and you look past them (no matter how much you disapprove), and if you think, "If their past hadn't happened, we might never have met," you might be in love.
- Is it possible that reading this long article about how to tell if you're in love with someone means you do, in fact, love them? I think so!
Expert Interview
Thanks for reading our article! If you’d like to learn more about love, check out our in-depth interview with Tara Vossenkemper, PhD, LPC.
References
- ↑ https://www.marriage.com/advice/love/signs-of-true-love/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/neuronarrative/201402/what-neuroscience-tells-us-about-being-in-love
- ↑ https://psychcentral.com/relationships/how-to-stop-thinking-about-someone#refocusing
- ↑ https://plato.stanford.edu/entries/love/#LoveValu
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/moral-landscapes/201410/ten-signs-love
- ↑ https://www.marriage.com/advice/love/signs-of-true-love/
- ↑ https://www.marriage.com/advice/love/signs-of-true-love/
- ↑ https://www.marriage.com/advice/love/signs-of-true-love/
- ↑ https://news.ku.edu/2015/08/27/first-comes-laughter-then-love-study-finds-out-why-humor-important-romantic-attraction
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/in-flux/201612/the-7-signs-youve-found-yourself-loving-relationship
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/meet-catch-and-keep/201706/6-certain-signs-being-in-love
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/in-flux/201612/the-7-signs-youve-found-yourself-loving-relationship
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/rediscovering-love/201705/10-signs-relationship-is-truly-loving
- ↑ https://www.researchgate.net/publication/51393896_Pride_and_Perseverance_The_Motivational_Role_of_Pride
- ↑ https://www.nbcnews.com/better/lifestyle/why-compliments-make-us-feel-so-good-how-get-better-ncna1062546
- ↑ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4911849/
- ↑ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4911849/
- ↑ https://sitn.hms.harvard.edu/flash/2017/love-actually-science-behind-lust-attraction-companionship/
- ↑ https://www.health.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/oxytocin-the-love-hormone
- ↑ https://www.apa.org/monitor/feb08/oxytocin
- ↑ https://www.nbcnews.com/better/health/why-falling-love-gives-you-butterflies-ncna847951
- ↑ https://www.cnn.com/2016/02/12/health/your-body-on-love/index.html
- ↑ https://www.southuniversity.edu/news-and-blogs/2016/08/the-psychology-behind-love-and-romance-70700
About This Article
To tell if you’re really in love with someone, pay attention to the way you think about them. If you find yourself thinking about the other person all the time, or if you can’t imagine your future without them, then there’s a good chance you’re in love with them. Consider how you feel about their opinions, too. Do you really value what they think and what they have to say? If you have to make a big decision, do you ask them for their input? If so, then you probably love and care about them. It’s also a good sign if you notice the other person’s flaws, but you accept them for who they are anyway. Check your own behavior as well. When you’re in love with someone, you’ll want to be the best version of yourself around them. Pay attention to whether you enjoy helping them and spending time with them—even when you’re not doing anything that exciting together. You might also find that you’re more willing to step outside of your comfort zone or make compromises for someone you love. Also, you’ll feel more comfortable opening up to them and truly being yourself. Being in love isn’t always easy, so pay attention to how you feel and behave in good times as well as bad. If you’re able to make it through rough patches together and still come out feeling good about your relationship, then there’s a good chance you’re in love. For more advice from our Relationships co-author, including how to see if you’re okay with your significant other’s flaws, keep reading.
Reader Success Stories
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"I like the way it was broken up into parts: what you think, do, and say. That made it easy to follow. Also that it gave specific examples was also helpful. It was written in a non-definitive way by saying, "You MAY be in love," which is more honest."..." more