How to Make a Man Fall in Love with You

Co-authored by Maria Avgitidis

Last Updated: August 14, 2024 Approved

While you can’t control how a man feels about you, there are some things you can do to get his attention and show him that you’re special. By being an authentic, positive presence in a man’s life, you might be able to encourage him to fall in love with you.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Attracting Him

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1
Show that you care about your appearance and health. By putting time and energy into your physical appearance, you will demonstrate to your man that you value your looks and good health. You will also feel more confident about yourself if you feel healthy and strong, and confidence is always attractive.^{[1]
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- Stay active by going to the gym regularly. Don't skip your workout to spend time with him. Invite him to join you or take a rain check.
- Keep your hair clean and styled neatly, and pay close attention to your personal hygiene.
- Put on a little signature scent in the morning or before you go out, or wear scented body lotion for a subtler scent.
- If you wear makeup, aim for a look that's flattering but simple; don't try to overdo this aspect.
- Brush your teeth twice daily, floss, and use mouthwash. During the day, use mints or gum to freshen your breath.
- Do your laundry regularly. Instead of buying a new wardrobe, make the best of what you have. Set up a regular schedule and make sure you always have clean shirts, pants/skirts, undergarments and socks available. Don't let him see stains or unkempt clothing!
2
Smile well and often. Your best weapon is always available, completely free, and can't be overused—your winning smile! Flash a genuine grin as often as possible, whether it's directed at your guy or not. It makes you look approachable, and it might actually make you happier.^{[2]
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- Find something to smile about. If you're a bit blue, think of a happy moment or amusing joke to spark a smile. Do you have a favorite pet? A favorite memory? Whatever it is, think of it as often as you need to.
- Try a slow smile. If you've made eye contact with the man you love, smile at him slowly, letting it spread over your face. If you tend to blush and look down when he's looking at you, let it happen after the smile — you'll be irresistible.
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3
Make frequent eye contact. Making eye contact is a crucial component of flirtation and it can also increase his feelings of attraction for you. Gaze into his eyes when he is talking to you and don’t be afraid to lock eyes with him even if you are both silent.
- If you are too nervous to gaze into his eyes or you don't think it is appropriate yet, use quick glances to make frequent eye contact with him. By looking at him for a moment and then looking away, you can show him that you are interested and see if he is interested too.
4
Wear soft textures to attract his touch. Studies suggest that people find soft and pleasant textures pleasing and soothing.^{[4]
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Research source} Try wearing clothing made from microfiber, silk, faux fur, or other soft textures that he'll want to touch. This will make your guy associate these pleasant sensations with being around you.^{[5]
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- Try wearing red to catch his attention. The color red has been shown to increase feelings of attraction and passion in both men and women. Try wearing a red dress, a red top, or some red lipstick to make him notice you.^{[6]
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Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Using Your Personality

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Part of the reason why people feel attracted to each other is due to a sense of connection. If you have things in common with him, emphasize those things in your conversations. For example, if you both love a certain type of music or band, talk to him about it. Just make sure that you do not overemphasize or lie about things you have in common. Doing so may cause him to see you as desperate or dishonest.
Being clingy and dependent on someone else for your happiness are not attractive qualities. Instead, try to show him that you are an independent, strong woman. Showing him that you have a great life and that you don’t need someone else to be happy will intrigue him. Keep your plans with friends and family and turn him down for dates now and then so that he knows that you have your own life.^{[7]
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Being rude to the guy or other people is a quick way to make him lose interest in you. Be polite and kind to the guy you have your eye on and show that you are also kind to others. Demonstrating your kind personality will increase his affection for you.
Letting a guy see what makes you such a catch is another great way to increase his affection for you. It will intrigue him and make him want to get to know you even better. For example, if you are skilled at playing an instrument, look for an opportunity to play in front of him. Or, if you are an excellent baker, whip up some cookies and share some with him.^{[8]
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Be a positive force in his life. Most people can manage to be negative all by themselves, so they're drawn to people who focus on the bright side of things. Instead of focusing on what's wrong with your life or talking about the people who annoy you, try to emphasize what's right. Moreover, be pleasant in all that you say toward him and avoid gossiping. Be a positive person in his presence and aim to be positive in general.^{[9]
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- This isn't to say that you can never complain around him. Everyone complains. But it can be exhausting to listen to someone gripe constantly. Try to keep a rein on it so that he feels warm and fuzzy about his time with you, not tired and down.

Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Enticing Him

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1
Maintain a balance. In the beginning of a relationship, it is important to spend lots of time together. During this time, you are just getting to know each other and spending time together should be fun. Don’t fight this urge to spend lots of time with him when you are just starting out, but know when to pull it back. The "scarcity principle" suggests that people are more likely to want and value something that's a bit hard to get.^{[10]
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Research source} This doesn't mean you have to play mind games with your guy, but make sure that you're not available at the drop of a hat every time he calls. Maintain a good balance between spending time with him and spending time on your own.
- To get some time away from him, make plans with your friends and family, spend more time alone, or work more to have some time away from him.
- This strategy may seem odd, but it will be good for both of you. It will give him some time to think about his feelings and it will also give you a chance to think about your feelings. Having some time apart will help the two of you avoid getting bored with each other or taking each other for granted.
Doing things to make your guy feel needed may increase his feelings of affection for you. Asking him to help you with something or even just asking for his advice can make him feel needed and important. For example, you might ask him to help you move some furniture in your bedroom or ask him to help you make a decision about your car insurance.
3
Act casual. Remember: you can't actually make him fall in love with you. He's free to choose what he wants. Beyond that, though, people can't always control who they love. If it's simply not there on his end, resist the temptation to punish him for it. Accept that if the relationship is meant to be, it will happen; if not, then you're meant for something better.
- Avoid using the "girlfriend" term until he has said it first. If you say it too prematurely, he may run and never look back. Even more importantly, avoid all talk of marriage and babies––that will definitely scare him away.

Expert Q&A

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Question

How can I win a man's heart?

Maria Avgitidis
Matchmaker & Dating Expert
Maria Avgitidis is the CEO & Matchmaker of Agape Match, a matchmaking service based out of New York City. For over a decade, she has successfully combined four generations of family matchmaking tradition with modern relationship psychology and search techniques to ensure her professional clientele are introduced to their ultimate match. Maria and Agape Match have been featured in The New York Times, The Financial Times, Fast Company, CNN, Esquire, Elle, Reuters, Vice, and Thrillist.

Maria Avgitidis

Matchmaker & Dating Expert

Expert Answer

Show him that you're kind and considerate to everyone. You can't truly make someone fall in love with you, but you can show him that you're a kind and thoughtful person, a great listener, that you ask good questions.

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The guy I like is my flatmate and he is older than me. What should I do?

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Consider all the possible outcomes of dating your flatmate. If your dating relationship doesn’t work out, do you think you both could still continue being flatmates? Would living together be too much of a strain on a new dating relationship? If the age difference has you worried, consider how much age will truly impact your dating. Also consider how compatible you are together, your temperament, values, interests, and priorities. If these all seem to be a close match, then age shouldn’t matter so much.

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I think the guy who I like, likes me back! How do I know for sure?

Community Answer

The only way to know for sure it to talk with him about it. No need to spend time and energy trying to guess at what he means when he says something ambiguous. Find a good time to chat with him, tell him how you’ve been feeling, and ask him if he feels the same way. For example, “I have really enjoyed getting to know you over the past few months, and I am interested in pursuing a dating relationship with you. I thought you might feel the same way, but wasn’t sure. Are you interesting in going out to dinner sometime?

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Tips

Give him some space. Let him hang out with his friends, and once in a while say that you can't come. This will let you find out if he really wants you to be around him or not.

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If you don't know much about him, open room for getting to know each other. There's no harm in having a good conversation with him.

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If you get to know his friends and you become friends with them, he will feel more comfortable around you.

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Say things like "I trust you, you can do it, don't give up" etc. This helps him have more confidence when he's down and he'll also know that you love and care for him very much.
Be yourself! If you fake who you are and he falls in love with you, once he sees how different you really are, he might be as into you anymore. Just don't change yourself.
If you're ever feeling nervous around him and you don't know what to say, act like you're talking to your best friend and bring up whatever pops into your mind.
Don't rush it. He may be feeling down but not communicating that, so treat him like one of your other mates at first, then slowly build up your relationship!

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Warnings

Don't flirt with his close friends. This will just end up with fights between mates and none of them will care for you.

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Don't put him in a compromising position. Men care about how you feel, even if they're not interested in you romantically. Don't force them to answer a question if they look uncomfortable with it.

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Helpful 562 Not Helpful 115
Don't be annoying and obsessive; if he says he wants to just be friends, accept it, but show that you're still interested if he changes his mind.

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Don't make him feel worthless by ranting on and on about your exes. If you say what you dislike in your exes, he might be put off.

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Helpful 462 Not Helpful 125
Don’t pursue him if he’s already taken! This can cause unnecessary drama and damage your relationship with him and others.

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