What Kind of Reality Check Do I Need Quiz
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QuestionWhat are the conditions of a good friendship?
Chloe Carmichael, PhDChloe Carmichael, PhD is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist who runs a private practice in New York City. With over 12 years of psychological consulting experience, Dr. Chloe specializes in relationship issues, stress management, self-esteem, and career coaching. She has also instructed undergraduate courses at Long Island University and has served as adjunct faculty at the City University of New York. Dr. Chloe completed her PhD in Clinical Psychology at Long Island University in Brooklyn, New York, and her clinical training at Lenox Hill Hospital and Kings County Hospital. She is accredited by the American Psychological Association and is the author of “Nervous Energy: Harness the Power of Your Anxiety” and “Dr. Chloe's 10 Commandments of Dating.”
Licensed Clinical Psychologist, Author of Nervous EnergyTrust and intimacy are really important markers of a healthy friendship. You should always feel known and seen by the other person. -
QuestionHow do you tell if you can trust someone?Chloe Carmichael, PhDChloe Carmichael, PhD is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist who runs a private practice in New York City. With over 12 years of psychological consulting experience, Dr. Chloe specializes in relationship issues, stress management, self-esteem, and career coaching. She has also instructed undergraduate courses at Long Island University and has served as adjunct faculty at the City University of New York. Dr. Chloe completed her PhD in Clinical Psychology at Long Island University in Brooklyn, New York, and her clinical training at Lenox Hill Hospital and Kings County Hospital. She is accredited by the American Psychological Association and is the author of “Nervous Energy: Harness the Power of Your Anxiety” and “Dr. Chloe's 10 Commandments of Dating.”
Licensed Clinical Psychologist, Author of Nervous EnergyShare a small bit of information with them and see how they act in the next few weeks. If they start pulling away or treating you differently, they're probably not worth trusting and hanging around in the long-term. On the other hand, if everything goes well, you can gradually open up and share a little more. -
QuestionHow do you know if your friend can be trusted?Chloe Carmichael, PhDChloe Carmichael, PhD is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist who runs a private practice in New York City. With over 12 years of psychological consulting experience, Dr. Chloe specializes in relationship issues, stress management, self-esteem, and career coaching. She has also instructed undergraduate courses at Long Island University and has served as adjunct faculty at the City University of New York. Dr. Chloe completed her PhD in Clinical Psychology at Long Island University in Brooklyn, New York, and her clinical training at Lenox Hill Hospital and Kings County Hospital. She is accredited by the American Psychological Association and is the author of “Nervous Energy: Harness the Power of Your Anxiety” and “Dr. Chloe's 10 Commandments of Dating.”
Licensed Clinical Psychologist, Author of Nervous EnergyTrust is ultimately built over time. Give yourself opportunities to be around that person so you can see if they're reliable. If the person seems to have your best interests at heart, they're probably worth trusting. -
QuestionIs it OK to confide in a friend?Chloe Carmichael, PhDChloe Carmichael, PhD is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist who runs a private practice in New York City. With over 12 years of psychological consulting experience, Dr. Chloe specializes in relationship issues, stress management, self-esteem, and career coaching. She has also instructed undergraduate courses at Long Island University and has served as adjunct faculty at the City University of New York. Dr. Chloe completed her PhD in Clinical Psychology at Long Island University in Brooklyn, New York, and her clinical training at Lenox Hill Hospital and Kings County Hospital. She is accredited by the American Psychological Association and is the author of “Nervous Energy: Harness the Power of Your Anxiety” and “Dr. Chloe's 10 Commandments of Dating.”
Licensed Clinical Psychologist, Author of Nervous EnergyConfiding in a friend is fine as long as you're doing it in a quiet, private space. Also, make sure there's enough time for your friend respond and talk with you. -
QuestionIs it okay to not tell your friends everything?Chloe Carmichael, PhDChloe Carmichael, PhD is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist who runs a private practice in New York City. With over 12 years of psychological consulting experience, Dr. Chloe specializes in relationship issues, stress management, self-esteem, and career coaching. She has also instructed undergraduate courses at Long Island University and has served as adjunct faculty at the City University of New York. Dr. Chloe completed her PhD in Clinical Psychology at Long Island University in Brooklyn, New York, and her clinical training at Lenox Hill Hospital and Kings County Hospital. She is accredited by the American Psychological Association and is the author of “Nervous Energy: Harness the Power of Your Anxiety” and “Dr. Chloe's 10 Commandments of Dating.”
Licensed Clinical Psychologist, Author of Nervous EnergyAbsolutely! Above all else, you should want to confide in your friends instead feeling obligated to tell them every secret of yours. You can have a healthy friendship without sharing everything about your life! -
QuestionShould I analyze my friend's reaction after offering a compliment?
Community AnswerObserving how someone reacts to a compliment is just another way of getting to know someone. When you compliment your friend, you can see if they feel proud, embarrassed or grateful. -
QuestionNo one likes me and I'm alone. I tried fitting in with nearly every person, but nothing works. I'm so confused. What do I do?
Community AnswerI am exactly the same way. Being different is good! You don't have to "fit in" to be friends with somebody. Somebody likes you, you just have to find them. If you are shy, open up and talk to people. Eventually somebody will come along you can have a nice conversation with, and things should proceed naturally from there. Don't give up hope, put yourself out there! -
QuestionI have friends who always say something about me or kick me. They think kicking is teasing, but it dosn't feel like it. They think I'm weak and a sore loser. What do I do?
StarGazer996Community AnswerThey are not true friends. A real friend wouldn't hurt you or call you names; they would try to make you happy. Approach them and tell them how you feel. If they don't apologize, and keep treating you with disrespect, it may be time to find some new friends. -
QuestionMy friends always tell my darkest secrets to other people, what can I do about this?
Tom De BackerTop AnswererThat is not right. Demand that they respect your privacy by confronting them with it directly. Stop sharing your personal thoughts and feelings and ask yourself if they really are good friends. -
QuestionWhat if someone pretends to be true friend but in reality they turn out to not even be trustworthy? This has happened to me sadly.
Community AnswerHave a chat with this person to find out why they let you down. Be polite and try to be understanding, as there may be a good reason for their poor attitude. Sometimes people do silly things as a result of their own big mouths (lack of control) or due to insecurities (very hard to treat in a short space of time). If you tell them how you feel, they might actually listen to you. If this friend doesn't understand or care about what they've done, don't push it - consider finding a new friend. But if they apologize and promise to not do it again, consider giving them a second chance.
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QuestionWhat should I do if a former friend is now treating me badly?
Community AnswerTry to find out why your friend is hurting you badly. Maybe your friend does not realize he or she is behaving this way. He or she could also be going through a difficult time. If you suspect that you did something to hurt or offend your friend, ask them what you did wrong and what you could do to fix it. If nothing helps, then it might be best to break off the friendship and find a new friend. -
QuestionHow do I find a friend when I don't trust anyone?
Community AnswerAsk yourself why you don't trust anyone. There are many trustworthy people in the world, but for people who have been mistreated or have other reasons not to trust easily, it can seem unlikely. Start by making casual friends that you simply hang out with but don't necessarily share secrets with. Allow trust to build organically. You can also wait for the other person to share a secret before sharing one of yours.
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QuestionWhy is oversensitivity bad?
Community AnswerPeople may misinterpret oversensitivity as you being needy; this tends to put some people off. Being sensitive to feelings and experience is merely how you and the other person interpret them, however. If you tend to be oversensitive, try to make friends with like-minded people, and stay away from people who are clearly going to put you down or bring you down in life
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QuestionWhat if my friend is angry at me because I have another friend?
DoggoTop AnswererHe is not a real friend. If someone can't enjoy your company if there is someone else, then he is not respectful and understanding. You are entitled to have other friends and not dedicate yourself solely to one. -
QuestionCan I meet friends on the streets?
Community AnswerYes, there's nothing wrong with finding some new friends on the streets as long as you're being safe and responsible about it. (For example, never go to any private spaces alone with someone you just met.)
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QuestionHow can I make somebody become my best friend?
Community AnswerJust so you know, you cannot make people do anything. But you can influence them to like you by acting cool and friendly, act nicely and be active and fun. Care about the other person, as that makes all the difference. -
QuestionI'm over 50 years old. I am very social, and people like me and want to be my friend, but I never feel the same. Why is that?
Tom De BackerTop AnswererCould it be that you never gave it a chance? Friendship takes time to grow. Once someone likes you, you can share time and activities and give it some real time before it develops into a friendship.
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QuestionThis friend bullies me, but she was friendly on the first day we met, now she treats me badly. What should I do?
Tom De BackerTop AnswererYou must stand up for yourself. Tell her you think her behavior is disrespectful and insulting. Be polite but firm.
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QuestionHow do I make friends without social media?
Community AnswerMeet people at local events, volunteering, or maybe try doing something new like a cooking class or something at a community center. Finding people with real life connections will make it easier to talk to them and befriend them.
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QuestionMy friend is very jealous that I have many best friends and I'm afraid she will gossip about me and try to make sure everyone hates me. What do I do?
Community AnswerIt's normal for friends to get a little jealous. You can try talking to her about your concerns. However, if she does gossip or try to make others hate you, she's not a good friend. It sounds like you have a lot friends, so if this one mistreats you, it's okay to tell her you don't want to be friends anymore.
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QuestionWhat kind of stuff should I ask specifically when I'm trying to ask someone if they want to hang out?
Community AnswerYou could say, "Hey, are you free on [day you want to hang out]?" or "Do you want to hang out on [day]?" Or you could say, "If you aren't busy, maybe you could come over or we could do something." You could also name a specific activity if you have one in mind, like, "Do you want to go see the new Spiderman movie with me?" Just be casual and say what comes naturally.
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QuestionIt's my first day in a new school and I made friends with a person I can't relate to but can talk to very easily. I'm worried I won't make it out there to make friends with more relatable people because it's kinda intimidating. What should I do?
Community AnswerJust be yourself. If you hide who you truly are, friends will scurry away.
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QuestionMy friend compliments me a lot. Does that make her a true friend?
Community AnswerPossibly, if she is sincere!
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QuestionPeople don't like me because I don't have social media, what do I do?
Community AnswerUse alternative ways like calling or messaging them to keep in contact. Plan to do something entertaining with your friends.
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QuestionMy friend only considers me a good friend if he needs something but treats me like we're acquaintances if he's with another friend. What's up?
Community AnswerIt sounds like he's not really invested in your friendship. Let him know you see what he's doing and don't appreciate it. Then, distance yourself.
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QuestionWhat if I am friends with someone, but they want to be more than friends?
Community AnswerWell, first make sure you KNOW that they want to be more than friends, otherwise things could get awkward. Then, tell them directly how YOU feel about them. Just say, "Look, I like you as a friend. I'm not interested in a relationship, but I still really want to be friends."
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QuestionWhat if no one wants to be my friend?
Community AnswerSometimes when friends fail to materialize we think that no one wants to be our friend. In these moment we need to be patient and realize that this is just a feeling, a temporary state. Put on hold your search for friends for a while and try to do things that makes you feel better, like watching your favorite movie, cooking your favorite meal, or whatever you need to regain a sense of comfort with yourself. When you feel better, start the search again.
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QuestionWhat do I do if I am not a true friend?
Community AnswerYou should say you're sorry if you've done something wrong, and read this article about How to Be a Good Friend.
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QuestionWhat if I'm super shy and have trouble making friends?
Community AnswerFind someone who has the same interests as you. Sit next to them and introduce yourself. Chat with them a little more every day and you'll slowly build up your friendship. You will have to push yourself out of your comfort zone a little if you want to make friends.
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QuestionMy true friend hides things from me. Why?
Community AnswerThey may want to protect you from the truth or they may not be as real as they seem. Confront them about this, and make a decision from there.
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