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Getting into a new relationship is really exciting, but it also comes with a lot of questions, especially when it comes to texting. Figuring how often you want to text, what to text about, and when to expect a reply can be confusing. That’s why we’ve compiled a list of things you should know about texting your new boo so you don’t have to worry about communication anymore.

1

Don’t worry if you two don’t talk every single day.

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  1. You might text every day, but you might not. Not everyone wants to chat with their S.O. every day, and that’s okay! The person that you’re dating might prefer just to check in every now and then, and that’s not a bad thing. In general, you might want to talk to each other every 2 days or so, but it can be more or less depending on your preference.
    • Try not to base whether or not someone likes you on their texting frequency. Some people are just bad texters, and they’ll text back super slowly (or rarely) no matter what.
    • If you've been in a couple of dates already, talking 2 to 3 times a week is enough to keep you on their radar, but also is infrequent enough to give the other person space.
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2

Talk with your date about how often you like to text.

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3

Check in on days you don’t see each other.

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  1. Maybe you two haven’t hung out in a bit, and you just want to see what they’re up to. A casual text checking in on the days you can’t hang out in person is totally fine, and it shows that you care.[2]
    • You might text them something like, “Hey, just checking in. How’s it going?” or, “Hey, what have you been up to today?”
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8

Save some topics for in-person conversations.

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  1. You don’t want to talk about everything via text message. Otherwise, you might not have a ton to chat about on your dates! Remember that chemistry and relationships are mostly built through in-person interactions. Try to save texts for small, casual interactions, and keep the longer, more deep topics for in-person. It will help you two grow closer together, and it can really cut down on any misunderstandings.[6]
    • For example, planning your next date over text? Totally fine! Talking about the future of your relationship together? Probably best saved for an in-person convo.
    • That said, texting can help you feel closer to each other. Whenever possible, avoid the small talk and just talk about what's going on in your life or start out with a funny story.
9

Discuss serious matters face-to-face.

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  1. If you and your date are getting into a fight, either call them up or save it for when you two see each other in person. Since you can’t hear your partner’s tone of voice or see their facial expressions, you might be misunderstanding what they’re saying.[7]
    • To avoid this, try texting something like, “This conversation is getting a little heavy. Could we chat about this on the phone later?”
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11

Ask for some space if your partner texts you too much.

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  1. If your partner texts you more often than you’re comfortable with, sit down with them and talk about your boundaries and what you’d like to see going forward. Hopefully, you two can chat about it and come up with a compromise that works for the both of you.[8]
    • You could bring it up by saying something like, “Hey, we haven’t really talked about this before, but I can tell that you like texting a lot. I’m not a super great texter, and I actually prefer talking on the phone. Could we maybe meet in the middle a little bit?”
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12

Try phone calls every now and then.

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  1. Texting doesn’t have to be your only form of communication. Sometimes, it’s nice to hear your partner’s voice, even if it’s over the phone. If you haven’t hung out with your date in a few days and you just want to chat, call them up! You can talk about your day, what they’ve been up to, and how you’re both feeling.[9]
    • You can send a quick text to your partner before calling, just to make sure they aren’t busy. Something like, “Free for a phone call?” works great.

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About This Article

Kristina Mirgorodskaya
Co-authored by:
Dating Expert
This article was co-authored by Kristina Mirgorodskaya and by wikiHow staff writer, Hannah Madden. Kristina Mirgorodskaya is a Dating Coach and the Marketing Director of Amiccio, a New York City social app that helps singles make new connections. Amiccio connects singles by hosting parties, socials, beginners salsa, bachata, and tango classes, and speed dating events. With over four years of experience, Kristina specializes in leveraging people skills, cultivating welcoming environments, and intercultural communication. Her expertise allows her to easily bring people together. Kristina earned a degree in business from Baruch College. This article has been viewed 72,056 times.
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Co-authors: 3
Updated: August 21, 2024
Views: 72,056
Categories: Dating | Texting
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