How to Show Affection to Your Boyfriend

Co-authored by Joshua Pompey and Danielle Blinka, MA, MPA

Last Updated: September 3, 2021 References

When you're in a relationship, showing affection to your boyfriend lets him know how much you care about him. But if demonstrating love and affection don't come naturally for you, don't worry! We've put together a guide with plenty of ways you can show him you appreciate and value your relationship. Whether you want to try out being more physically affectionate, telling him how you feel, or doing nice things for him, we've got you covered with sweet, romantic examples.^{[1]
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Expert Source

Joshua Pompey
Relationship Expert

Expert Interview. 27 November 2019.}

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Showing Physical Affection to Your Boyfriend

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1
Hold his hand when you’re side-by-side. Holding hands is a simple but effective way to show your boyfriend how you feel about him. Grab his hand when you’re walking around together or while you’re sitting next to each other. This shows him you want to be close to him.^{[2]
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- If it’s not practical to hold his hand, grab his hand and give it a squeeze before letting go. For instance, it might be hard to hold his hand while he's driving or when you're sitting across from each other in a restaurant.
2
Run your fingers along his arm, back or shoulders. Touch is a great way to flirt with someone, and it’s important to keep flirting even after you’re in a relationship. Gently stroke his skin to create intimacy between you. Your touch shows him you’re still interested in him and crave his affection.^{[3]
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- For instance, you might casually stroke his arm while you’re sitting together.
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3
Hug him to increase your level of intimacy. A warm hug will make your boyfriend feel loved and valued. Pull your boyfriend into a hug when you first see each other and before you part ways. Additionally, wrap your arm around him and hug up against him while you’re standing side-by-side.^{[4]
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- Try a quick hug if you’re in public or a lingering hug if you’re meeting up in private.
4
Give him a kiss to remind him he’s wanted. Kissing creates a lot of intimacy between you and your beau. If you’re in public, give him a quick peck on the lips or kiss his cheek. When you’re alone, passionately kiss him on the lips.^{[5]
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- Consider your boyfriend’s preferences when kissing him in public. If you think he’ll be uncomfortable, wait until you’re alone to kiss him.
5
Engage in public displays of affection (PDA) so he feels valued. Showing affection in public helps him see how proud you are to be with him. Additionally, it creates a special moment between you. Express your affection in public by touching him, hugging, holding hands, and snuggling against him.^{[6]
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- Be respectful of the people around you, and be mindful of where you are. PDA may not be allowed or might not be appropriate if you’re in a school, workplace, or religious facility.
- Talk to your boyfriend about how he feels about PDA and respect his preferences. You might ask, "Do you enjoy PDA?" or "Are you comfortable showing affection in public?" Only engage in PDA if you both like it.
Did You Know? Showing your boyfriend affection in public shows him he’s your number one and you’re excited to show him off.

Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Communicating Your Affection

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1
Send him “good morning” and “good night” texts. Texting him at these special moments shows him that he’s on your mind. Make a habit of texting him as soon as you wake up and right before you go to bed. This is an easy way to express your affection for him.^{[7]
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- Your texts can range from a simple “Good morning” to something more elaborate, such as “Good morning, handsome! I hope your day is amazing!” You might also send him a meme or a pic of you.
Variation: If you live with your boyfriend, send him a text when you get to work and right before you leave. Text him something like, “I hope you have a great day at work!” or “Coming home and can’t wait to see you.” This shows him you’re thinking about him.
2
Text him throughout the day to remind him you’re thinking of him. Texting back and forth with him helps you develop your bond with him. Find quiet moments throughout the day to send him a quick text. Tell him about what you’re doing, check in with him, or send cute or funny memes.^{[8]
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- Say things like, “Today is so stressful! How are you doing?” or “Thinking about you! Hope your day is going well!”
- Don’t send him more than 2 texts in a row because that may feel overwhelming to him. Wait for him to send a response before you text him again.
Examples of how to show affection over text:

“You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

“I’m so grateful you’re in my life.”

“I’m thinking about you.”
3
Tell your boyfriend what you love about him so he feels special. Remind your boyfriend why you chose him to be your partner by pointing out his best qualities. Describe what you love about his look, why his personality made you fall for him, or which of his quirks you find to be adorable. This shows him that you truly appreciate everything about him.^{[9]
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- You could say, “Your broad shoulders are so sexy!” or “I love listening to you talk about history. You’re so smart!”
4
Give him daily compliments to show you appreciate him. Compliments make your boyfriend feel loved and valued, so they’re a great way to express your affection for him. Create a habit of telling him at least 1 nice thing about himself every day. You might compliment his appearance, style choices, accomplishments, or qualities that you love about him.^{[10]
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- Tell him things like, “You look amazing in this color,” “You’re such a good cook,” or “You’re so strong!”
- Similarly, you might compliment his achievements, such as “Great job on your presentation today!” or “Wow! You’re so great at karaoke.”
5
Ask him how his day is going to show him you care. Show an interest in what’s going on in his life. Encourage him to share his ups and downs with you so you grow closer together. On days you don’t see each other, call or text him to talk about his day. If you’re spending time together in person, check in with him as soon as you see each other.^{[11]
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Expert Source

Joshua Pompey
Relationship Expert

Expert Interview. 27 November 2019.}
- Ask him, “Is your day going well?” or “What have you been up to today?” If he needs to talk about something, listen to what he has to say so he feels supported.
6
Lean in while he’s talking to you. Moving closer to him while he’s speaking shows him you truly care about what he has to say. It also increases your physical closeness. When you’re talking to him, lean in his direction so he knows he has your full, undivided attention.^{[12]
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- If you’re sitting next to him, lean against him. If he’s across from you, lean forward and rest your elbows on your thighs or the furniture in front of you.
Tip: Actively listen to your boyfriend when he’s talking to you.^{[13]
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Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Doing Nice Things for Him

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Encourage him in his work and hobbies. Your boyfriend wants to know that you believe in him, so cheer him on. Tell him you know he can achieve anything he sets his mind to do and support him in all his endeavors. This will show him that you’re always in his corner.^{[14]
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- Let’s say he has a big presentation at work. You might text him, “I know you’re going to do a great job!” Similarly, if he plays a recreational sport, go to his game to cheer him on.
2
Leave love notes where he’ll find them. You don’t need to write out a long love letter to be affectionate. Just write short notes on post-its or lined notebook paper. Put the notes in places your boyfriend will see, such as on your boyfriend’s bathroom mirror, in his school or work bag, or on his steering wheel. This will show him how special he is to you.^{[15]
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- You might put a note on his coffee mug that says, “Just a reminder that you’re loved.” On his bathroom mirror, leave a sticky note that says, “Hey, handsome! I love you so much!”
3
Schedule a weekly date night even if you’re busy. Carving out dedicated time for him shows him he’s important to you. Arrange with your boyfriend to have a “real” date at least once a week. Make special date plans so you’re spending quality time together.^{[16]
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Expert Source

Joshua Pompey
Relationship Expert

Expert Interview. 27 November 2019.}
- For instance, enjoy a nice candlelit dinner together, play board games, or go for a walk on the beach.
- You don’t need to spend a lot of cash to have a great date. For instance, you might cook a special dinner instead of going out.
4
Surprise him with something you know he likes. Giving him a small treat or gift shows him that you’re thinking of him and truly know what he likes. Make his favorite food, buy his favorite candy, or get him a small gift that’s related to his interests. You might also make him a card or plan a special date for him.^{[17]
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- For instance, plan a picnic date with all of his favorite foods. Similarly, you might buy him a bobble head of his favorite action hero.

Expert Q&A

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Question

How do you show love in a relationship?

Joshua Pompey
Relationship Expert
Joshua Pompey is a Relationship Expert and Founder of Next Evolution Matchmaking (NEM) based in New York City, NY. With over 15 years in the industry, Joshua helps his clients navigate online dating and has a success rate of over 99%. His work has been featured in CNBC, Good Morning America, Wired, and Refinery29 and he has been referred to as the best online dater in the world.

Joshua Pompey

Relationship Expert

Expert Answer

When you're with somebody, you need to put the effort in. You can plan dates that show them that you're paying attention to what your partner is interested in and what they like. Include little romantic gestures whenever you can. Surprise gifts are a great way to show that you're thoughtful and express your love.

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Tips

Your boyfriend may have different preferences when it comes to showing affection than you do. Talk to him so you both understand what the other likes and expects.^{[18]
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