How to Stop Feeling Insecure About Your Body

Co-authored by Julia Lyubchenko, MS, MA and Jessica Gibson

Last Updated: April 25, 2024 References

Most of us experience body insecurity at some point in our lives. Whether we're going through our awkward teenage years, we've just had a baby, or we're carrying a little more weight than we like, we all struggle at some point! Positive body image is so important for your health and self-esteem. To help you break away from a negative thought cycle, we've come up with ways to think about your body in a more positive light.

1

Stop and identify negative thoughts.

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Pause whenever you think something bad about your body. What were you doing when the thought popped into your head? How does the thought make you feel? It's important to recognize when you're having poor body image thoughts and what triggers the thoughts so you can change them in the future.^{[1]
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- For example, you might be in a dressing room trying on clothes when you think, "I'm too fat to fit into any of these things. I shouldn't even be trying on clothes." How does this make you feel? Hurt? Angry? Sad?
- You may see someone jogging and think, "There's no way I could be as fit as that person." This kind of thinking may make you feel depressed or annoyed.
- It’s natural to have negative feelings and thoughts, so don’t be upset with yourself.^{[2]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Julia Lyubchenko, MS, MA
  Adult Counselor & Certified Hypnotherapist
  
  Expert Interview. 29 April 2020.}

2

Challenge your negative thoughts.

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Follow each negative thought with something positive. You don't have to accept these unhealthy thoughts! Ask yourself if you're being fair to yourself or if those thoughts will help you function.^{[3]
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Expert Source

Wes Pinkston
Certified Holistic Life Coach

Expert Interview. 18 January 2022.} Would you speak those things to a friend? Here are a few examples of how you can reframe your negative thoughts:^{[4]
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- "This outfit doesn't make me feel great, but I have other clothes that help me feel confident."
- "Just because these clothes don't fit doesn't mean I should totally give up. I just need to try on different things."
- "I may not like how my arm muscles sag, but these arms let me pick up my kids or wrap someone in a hug."

3

Write down what you like about your body.

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Shift your mindset to what you appreciate instead of what you don't like. Spend a little time listing all the things that are great about your body.^{[5]
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Expert Source

Wes Pinkston
Certified Holistic Life Coach

Expert Interview. 18 January 2022.} You might write down physical attributes or things your body can do. When you feel insecure, read through your list to remember how amazing your body is!
- For example, you might write that you use your body to swim, to hug people you love, or to get through the challenges that you face every day.

4

Wear clothes that fit you well.

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Find a style that makes you comfortable so you feel confident. There's often a lot of pressure to follow the latest trends, even if they don't work for your body type. You might also feel like you have to fit into a smaller size to look your best. Throw these misconceptions out the window! Reach for comfortable clothes that look stylish to you and that fit you well. You'll feel more attractive and it will show.^{[6]
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- Don't feel ashamed or embarrassed to shop for clothes in a size that truly fits you. You'll probably find that they offer more support and are better designed to fit your body.
- If there are things you don’t like, that’s okay! Think about how you can dress in a flattering way or play up a feature you do like.^{[7]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Julia Lyubchenko, MS, MA
  Adult Counselor & Certified Hypnotherapist
  
  Expert Interview. 29 April 2020.}
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Find clothes that fit your body well. Select fabrics that drape over your body well and have a flattering fit. To get help with sizing, you can use online guides or ask a salesperson, but remember that sizing varies by brand. No matter what brand it is, a well-fitted piece will elevate your outfit and make you more stylish.

5

Treat your body with respect.

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Eat nutritious food, stay active, and get plenty of rest. If you don't have a healthy attitude about your body, you may be tempted to change it. This can involve drastic measures like crash dieting if you feel like you're overweight or a punishing workout routine if you want to build muscle. Focus instead on caring for your body. Eat healthy food that you enjoy when you're hungry and stay active. Protect your body from addictive behaviors like drinking or doing drugs.^{[8]
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- Nurturing your body is a way of nurturing your mental health so make time to look after your needs.
- If you’re struggling with self-control when it comes to something like overeating, consider getting a therapist.^{[9]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Julia Lyubchenko, MS, MA
  Adult Counselor & Certified Hypnotherapist
  
  Expert Interview. 29 April 2020.}

6

Do activities that you enjoy or that help you relax.

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Work out, meditate, garden, or do something that makes you feel better. Try to do something active that you enjoy doing just because of how it makes you feel. You might jog because it makes you feel energized or you may do yoga because it calms your mind. This way, you'll appreciate your body for the things it can do.^{[10]
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- Don't forget to add these activities to your body-positive list!

7

Appreciate your character and strength of spirit.

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Remind yourself daily of your great personality. You don't have to have a "perfect" body to have a beautiful character. At least once a day, think about one of your character strengths—you might be empathetic, determined, or curious.^{[11]
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Expert Source

Wes Pinkston
Certified Holistic Life Coach

Expert Interview. 18 January 2022.} Then, tell yourself that these traits have nothing to do with how you look.^{[12]
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- Think of people you admire or famously wonderful people throughout history. Do you respect them because of their appearance or because of the amazing, kind, or thoughtful things they've done?

8

Talk with your partner about physical insecurities.

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Be honest if physical intimacy makes you uncomfortable. A lot of people feel uneasy when they have a physical relationship with someone, especially if they'll be seeing you naked. To help you feel more secure about your body and more comfortable with your partner, have an open talk about how you're feeling. Then, discuss what you're both comfortable with doing.^{[13]
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- For example, you might start the discussion by saying, "I really like you and I'm happy with how our relationship is going, but I get really uncomfortable and anxious when you see me without my shirt on."
- Talking about things that upset you can often help you process the way you feel so that you feel more secure.^{[14]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Julia Lyubchenko, MS, MA
  Adult Counselor & Certified Hypnotherapist
  
  Expert Interview. 29 April 2020.}

9

Surround yourself with supportive people.

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Stay away from people who make you feel insecure about your body. Maybe you have a family member who tells you you're too skinny or a friend who nags you to lose weight. Since it can be hard to ignore their comments, try not to spend time around them.^{[15]
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Expert Source

Wes Pinkston
Certified Holistic Life Coach

Expert Interview. 18 January 2022.} Instead, be around friends and family that care about you for who you are without judging how you look.^{[16]
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- You don't have to have a confrontation with friends or family about the issue unless you want to talk with them about it. If you want to talk, you could say, "I don't really want to come to your party. You have a tendency to make me feel bad about how I look and I really don't need that negativity."

10

Avoid or ignore unrealistic social media depictions.

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Unfollow users that only share idealistic or "perfect" bodies. If you're scrolling through Instagram or Facebook several times a day and you only see these airbrushed images of people, you might start feeling pressure to change how you look.^{[17]
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Expert Source

Wes Pinkston
Certified Holistic Life Coach

Expert Interview. 18 January 2022.} Skip the shame and spend your time on other sites.^{[18]
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- If you're having trouble cutting back on your online time, use an app that tracks the amount of time you spend on certain sites.

11

Limit how often you check your body.

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Skip the daily weigh-ins and spend less time in front of the mirror. Obsessing over how you look can make it really hard to develop a positive self-image, especially if you're worrying about things you can't change. To prevent yourself from getting stressed out, stay off of the scale, don't wrap measuring tape around your waist, and get away from the mirror.^{[19]
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- Shift your focus from your size and shape to your health and well-being.

12

Reach out to a healthcare professional.

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Get help if you're feeling depressed about your appearance. Talk with your doctor or a therapist if the negative feelings you have about your body are making you feel worse and worse. You're not alone! Negative self-image is actually common and healthcare professionals can help you work through these feelings using cognitive-behavioral training or group therapy.^{[20]
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- If you're experiencing anxiety about how you look and it's affecting your ability to function, your doctor might prescribe anti-anxiety medication.
- Need to talk to someone right away? Contact your country's national eating disorder association. In the U.S., you can call or text 1-800-931-2237.^{[21]
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  National Eating Disorders Association
  Nonprofit organization dedicated to supporting individuals and communities affected by eating disorders
  
  Go to source}

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Question

Why am I feeling so insecure about my body?

Wes Pinkston
Certified Holistic Life Coach
Wes Pinkston is a Certified Holistic Life Coach and the Founder of Wes Pinkston Life Coaching. With more than five years of experience, he specializes in helping people achieve greater fulfillment and understand their full potential. He received his Holistic Lifestyle Coach Certification from The CHEK Institute.

Wes Pinkston

Certified Holistic Life Coach

Expert Answer

Our society often knocks us down just to sell you a product or service that will pick you up. There's usually a certain look considered to be beautiful, excluding everyone that doesn’t fit that mold and it always leads us to fail to realize the beauty we have had all along.

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Question

How do I make myself less insecure about her body?

Wes Pinkston
Certified Holistic Life Coach
Wes Pinkston is a Certified Holistic Life Coach and the Founder of Wes Pinkston Life Coaching. With more than five years of experience, he specializes in helping people achieve greater fulfillment and understand their full potential. He received his Holistic Lifestyle Coach Certification from The CHEK Institute.

Wes Pinkston

Certified Holistic Life Coach

Expert Answer

Self-acceptance is one of the most difficult things to realize, but it is also one of the most liberating. When you walk through the forest you don’t compare trees and flowers, you’re just mesmerized by the beauty and uniqueness of all organisms. You are no different, you are beautiful exactly as you are.

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