How to Turn On Your Boyfriend

Co-authored by Mark Rosenfeld

Last Updated: September 30, 2024 Fact Checked

If you're looking to spice up your relationship, experimenting with different ways of turning your boyfriend on can be a fun and effective way to do it. Keep in mind that not every guy is the same. You may need to try a variety of methods to see which ones your boyfriend likes the best.

Part 1

Part 1 of 3:

Mental Stimulation

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1
Wear perfume. This is a good basic way to turn a guy on. You can kind of tailor your scent choice to something you know he'd like but it's always better to err on the musky side, as this most closely resembles the scents associated with sex.
- Avoid strong perfumes and perfumes with an "old lady" scent.
- Make sure you apply the perfume correctly.
Use body language. Use your body language to put ideas in his head. Sensually lick an ice cream while you're out on a date. Run your hand up and down the top of your thigh while you're sitting together on the couch.^{[1]
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Research source} Lean in close to talk to him. Bend over dramatically to pick something up off the ground. There are lots of ways to make him start thinking sexual thoughts, so just take advantage of whatever situation you find yourself in.^{[2]
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Expert Source

Mark Rosenfeld
Dating & Relationship Coach

Expert Interview. 11 June 2021.}

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3
Whisper something in his ear. It should be a little flirty, a little dirty, and a whole lot of tempting. The husky voice and the closeness of your lips as you whisper something slowly, and sensually will have him begging to take you to bed.^{[3]
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Expert Source

Mark Rosenfeld
Dating & Relationship Coach

Expert Interview. 11 June 2021.}
- "So now what do you want to do?", "You are such a tease.", "What do you want me to do to you?", etc. You get the gist.
Step 1, wear brightly colored underwear that are not granny-panties; Step 2, have just a bit of it peek out over the top of your jeans when you bend over; Step 3, profit. Or he'll profit. It's mutual profit.
5
Show him that you're turned on. If he knows you're turned on, that's going to turn him on more than anything else. If he touches you in just the right way or says something that drives you wild, tell him. You can also send him texts or let him know in other ways as well.
- Try, "God, I want you right now." or "I cannot stop thinking about what I want you to do to me."
Bite your lip while you're having a conversation.^{[4]
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Research source} Congratulations: now he's thinking about your lips. It's as easy as that. Just a little bit of this paired with looking up at him through your lashes will tell him you're about ready to devour him, you're just too polite to say it.

Part 2

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Physical Temptation

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Touch him. Whether it's a light touch on the arm, or running your hand up and down his thigh while you're watching that movie on the couch, you're going to make him want you touching him all over his body before you know it. Just remember to use light touches and firm touches appropriately and try to stick to sensitive areas (back of the neck, jawline, arms, upper chest, lower back, etc).^{[5]
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Expert Source

Mark Rosenfeld
Dating & Relationship Coach

Expert Interview. 11 June 2021.}
Give him a massage. Tell him to take off his shirt, oil him up, and start rubbing. Wear as little clothing yourself as you rub. A massage will get the blood flowing and between your hands being all over him and everything already being so...slippery....he's just not going to be able to help himself.
Dance (this isn't as hard as it sounds). Guys get really turned on when girls are spontaneous, confident, and do things that are unexpected. You don't have to go out dancing, but put on some music and home, grab him and make him slow dance with you, and then just move your body in as basic a way as you can handle. Move in ways that feel natural and give you the opportunity to rub against him. Believe us, it'll be enough.
Taking charge of the situation will really turn him on. Take his hands and place them on your bum as you give him an alluring look or whisper something in his ear. Putting his hands where you want them to go tells him that you're turned on and you want him: something he'll find very sexy.^{[6]
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Research source}
A little nibble on the ear, a long lick down his neck: show him that you want to just eat him up. The sensations will turn him on and get him thinking about where else he'd like you to be licking and tasting.
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Try temperature changes. This can be a huge turn-on. Once you've got his shirt off and you're kissing his chest, for example, lick a long line with your tongue and then blow on it. The heat followed by the cold will give his body a lot of sensation to focus on and will really rev up his engines.
- Don't forget the oldie but goldie ice cube!

Part 3

Part 3 of 3:

Mixing it Up

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Strip. You don't need to have skills that rival the girls in that club downtown. Just a little sexy music (try CéU's "Cangote") and some body movement as you slowly remove your clothing will drive him up the wall.
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Try a little role play. This can be fun for everyone and will help you let loose and both get a little more out of your physical relationship. Give him the chance to choose a fantasy to play out or surprise him with a fully prepared scenario, costumes and all.
- Try to choose something that appeals to him. Comic books, movies, school-related fantasies, video games: you know your man best.
3
Consider some kink. A little kink never hurt anyone: as long as they remember their safe words!^{[7]
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Research source} All joking aside, a little kink can really spice up a relationship and it doesn't have to get too weird. Only do things you're comfortable with and make sure that everyone is on the same page. Handcuffs, anyone?
- Letting him choose a kink he wants to explore can be a huge turn-on for him. Don't be judgmental and be open to what he wants to try; this will show him that he doesn't have to be ashamed or uncomfortable around you, which will really turn him on.
If all you're doing is missionary, he might end up getting a little bored. You might too for that matter! Turn each other on and add new life into your relationship by trying some new positions in bed. While there are obvious downsides to the 69, the 77^{[8]
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Go to source} is nice and accessible and guys love it when a girl gets on top.
Vibrators are not just the realm of lonely women and happy lesbians: sex toys are great for partners to use together.^{[9]
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Research source} If you're new to using toys, get just a small, cordless vibrator (a really basic one, usually about the size of an egg). Run it around his testicles during intercourse and he'll just about explode.
There's warm water and soap and everything is so slick and slippery...it's a great way to turn him on and try something new. Wash him, let him wash you, and see where things go from there.

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How can I make him miss me badly?

Mark Rosenfeld
Dating & Relationship Coach
Mark Rosenfeld is a Dating and Relationship Coach based in Norman Park, Australia. He founded his coaching business, Make Him Yours, in 2015. Mark specializes in helping women find, attract, and keep extraordinary relationships. He has been featured in Style Magazine, Thought Catalog, Elite Daily, News.com.au, and The Good Men Project. Mark’s dating videos have received over 60 million views, and his book “Make Him Yours – Beating the Odds of Modern Dating” was a best-seller on Amazon upon its release.

Mark Rosenfeld

Dating & Relationship Coach

Expert Answer

It's less about what you say and more about what you do. Take time to respect yourself and have your own life instead of trying to get his attention. Trust that the energy in your interactions makes you so attractive that all you need to do is move that energy away by doing your own thing.

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If he's dating you, he's probably usually turned on by default. This article is mostly for turning it up to 11.

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Hint the smallest things about sexual contact and be really playful about it. Try to be mysterious.

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Try putting on a show when you strip, or even treating him to a little lap dance. Moaning softly every once in a while will show him exactly what you want.

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Be confident—guys love a confident girl. Also, you can tease him a bit, such as leaning in for a kiss and then pulling away as soon as your lips make contact with his. You might also say something sexy, such as "Do you really think you will get a kiss that easily?" It's even better if you whisper it directly in his ear.
Even if you’re having relatively “vanilla” sex, safewords do have value, especially if you are worried that words such as "stop" may not register with your partner because they are in a different headspace.
Sometimes guys get lost and can't tell for sure if you're ready or not. For this reason, he'll love it when you take control. Then he'll know exactly what you want.
If you're sitting alone on the couch, cuddle up to him. Then take his hand and put it on your chest. This small gesture will have him all over you in minutes.

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Warnings

Consent is a must. If he says no, don’t take it personally. And if things start heating up and he decides to change his mind, that is his decision that you MUST respect. Don't move through these steps too fast, this can cause him to be uneasy about going further. Never pressure him; it'll make him feel angry or scared, not turned on.

Don't rush it; take your time to build up tension.

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Take your cues from your partner. Different people will react in different ways to being turned on.

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Turning him on doesn't necessarily have to lead to intercourse. Know the alternatives and plan on arriving at a happy ending that suits you both.

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