The 10 Kinds of Breakups That Usually Get Back Together and Why

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Learn why certain breakups can often lead to rekindling the relationship (plus how you can get back with your ex)

Co-authored by Jason Polk, LCSW, LAC and Devin McSween

Last Updated: December 23, 2024 References

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It’s a tale as old as time: 2 people meet, start a relationship, break up…and end up back together. In fact, more than 30% of couples get back together after breaking up, and the type of breakup they had might be why.^{[1]
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Research source} Whether you want to know if you and your ex might get back together, or you’re simply curious about why some breakups lead to reconciliation, we’ve got you covered. In this article, we’ll tell you all about the 9 types of breakups that often lead to couples getting back together.

Things You Should Know

Exes that had a mutual, amicable breakup or were each others “One that got away” are likely to get back together later in life.
Couples that take a break from the relationship often come back together stronger.
Couples that are dependent on each other or break up in the heat of an argument often rekindle their relationship quickly.
Win your ex back by reflecting on what went wrong, addressing the problems with your ex, and starting the relationship fresh by getting to know them again.

1

The amicable breakup

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Friendly exes who communicate regularly often get back together. It might happen several months after they break up, or take years, but exes that are still in each other's lives in a positive way can get back together. As long as they communicate about past issues and have worked on themselves, the relationship has a good chance of working.^{[2]
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- When getting back with your ex, build a new relationship together. While you need to be aware of what went wrong and communicate clearly about those issues, your past and new relationship are not the same. Get to know each other again and take the relationship slow.
- Reader Poll: We asked 397 wikiHow readers for helpful ways to move forward with your ex after getting back together, and only 8% of them said Set boundaries about bringing up our past relationship. [Take Poll]
  - If you're open to getting back together, it might be best to put setting boundaries about your past on the back burner until you've both had a chance to start moving toward a new future together.

2

The one that got away breakup

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Long lost lovers can come back together once they’ve changed. Some people have an ex that they can’t get off their mind and wonder, “What if?” about, no matter how many other people they date. When they finally come to terms that no one compares to their ex, these couples can often get back together. However, they need to have worked on themselves and resolved the issues that made them split up in the first place.^{[3]
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- To get your ex to fall for you, get to know them again. Don’t tell them that you want to get back together right away, and instead invite them out for a casual hang out. Wear something that makes you feel confident and remind your ex why they fell for you in the first place.

3

The circumstantial breakup

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Exes can get back together when timing and distance align. Sometimes relationships don’t end because of the couple, but because of things outside of their control. Maybe a career demanded too much from one of them, or someone had to move halfway across the world. If they find themselves single and in the same place with no barriers in their way, they’re likely to give their relationship another go.^{[4]
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- If you’re ready to date your ex, meet up with them in person. Tell them that you know there were obstacles in your way last time, but that you want to make it work now. If they have any concerns, be ready to talk about them and work out any potential issues.

4

The uncertain breakup

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Being unsure about the breakup can cause exes to get back together. A couple might think that things aren’t working out between them, so they decide to break up. But once they’re apart, they’re not sure that it was the right decision. They might realize that there was more they could do to save the relationship, so they decide to get back together.^{[5]
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- If you’re unsure about breaking up and want to get back with your ex, remember that there was a reason behind the breakup. Talk to your ex about the problems that led to the breakup and how you can work together to fix them.
- It’s normal to feel some doubt when ending a relationship, especially if you’re the one that initiated it.

5

The need a break breakup

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Taking a relationship reset can bring a couple back together stronger. This is one of the more common types of breakups that get back together. A break that is agreed upon by both couples can actually strengthen a relationship that is feeling stagnant and unsatisfying. The reset allows each person to work on themselves and find out what they want from the relationship.^{[6]
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- If you’re taking a break from your partner, create rules about what you expect from each other. Agreeing on how much you’ll keep in touch and whether or not you can date other people can make the break go smoother and have a higher chance of getting back together.
- It’s okay to come out of the break and realize that you’d rather stay apart. It’s important that you figure out what you want and need from the relationship.

6

The grass is greener breakup

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A couple might come back together when they realize they had it good. This breakup is similar to taking a relationship break, except it’s usually one-sided. One person might miss the excitement of dating or be scared to settle down. Once they spend some time away from the relationship, they might realize that the relationship they had was great and that they prefer stability and security.^{[7]
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- If you’re thinking of getting back together with an ex that broke up with you, talk to them about how the breakup made you feel. It’s important to discuss hurt feelings in order to improve your communication moving forward.^{[8]
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- If you broke up with your ex and want them back, listen to how they feel and acknowledge how your actions led to the breakup. Be prepared to tell your ex how you’ve changed and what you’ll do better if you get back together.

7

The on-again, off-again breakup

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Couples who make up and break up tend to get back together quickly. It might seem obvious, but an on-again, off-again couple are likely to get back together when they break up. Couples in these types of relationships might be uncertain about staying together or splitting up, so when they do break up, they’re not sure they made the right choice. This can lead to an up and down relationship where the core issues over constantly breaking up are never resolved.^{[9]
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- If you’re in an on-again, off-again relationship and aren’t sure if you should stay broken up, take some time to evaluate your relationship. Ask yourself if your partner makes you feel like a better person, if you’re happy in the relationship, and if you see it progressing.
- It can be hard, but if you don’t feel satisfied in your relationship and your partner hasn’t changed, it might be time to break up. Meet your partner in-person and respectfully tell them that the relationship is no longer working for you. Be clear about why, but refrain from focusing on your partner’s faults.

8

The heat of the moment breakup

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A couple might break up during an argument, but make up the next day. Anger can get the best of anyone, so during a heated fight between a couple, someone might suggest that they should just break up. However, once the person who suggested the break up apologizes, the couple can get back together. While this usually happens quickly, the intensity of the argument can make the breakup last longer.
- While it’s okay for you or your partner to get upset from time to time, angry outbursts about breaking up can be a red flag in a relationship.
- If you and your partner are constantly fighting like this, address the behavior. Calmly tell them how the arguing makes you feel using “I” statements. Then, set clear expectations and boundaries about the arguing.

9

The co-dependent breakup

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Couples who rely on each other often find themselves back together. Sometimes the fear of being alone and the uncertainty of dating again drive a couple to rekindle. While this might not be the best reason to get back together, as long as the couple works through the reasons behind the initial breakup, the relationship can work out.^{[10]
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- While it’s so easy to go back to someone you’re familiar with, that shouldn’t be the only reason you get back with your ex. Consider if they made you feel good and helped you grow into a better person before getting back together.
- It is definitely scary to be single again after being in a relationship. If you know it’s time to move on but are having a hard time, give yourself the grace to heal. It’s easy to remember the good parts of your ex, but remember that you broke up for a reason.
- If you’re having trouble staying away from your ex, it might be helpful to cut off all contact with them. This can help you process your emotions and stop you from going back to them.

10

The unfinished business breakup

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Exes that just can’t stay away from each other often get back together. Lingering, unresolved feelings can be a huge reason why couples reconcile. The relationship might have ended for a valid reason, but the attraction and tension is still there. The couple can’t help but crave the familiar feelings they’re used to, so they jump back into the relationship.^{[11]
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- If you find you and your ex being pulled together, but you just want to keep it friendly, set boundaries with them. Be direct that you want to stay friends, but if anything starts to get romantic, you’ll cut the relationship off.

Win Your Ex Back with This Expert Series

Sometimes a breakup really just means one or both people need some space. If you want to get back together with your ex, this expert series will help get them (and make them want you) back.