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So, you want to spice things up with your boyfriend? You’re in the mood and want to get him feeling it too without it getting awkward. There’s no shame in talking or texting sexy to your boyfriend, especially when you want to have some fun! Maybe you want to up the antics with some flirts or juicy questions that’ll make his mind wander. Either way, we’ve compiled a list of freaky questions you can ask your boyfriend.

This article is based on an interview with our licensed psychosexual therapist, Jacqueline Hellyer, founder of The Love Life Blog and The LoveLife Clinic. Check out the full interview here.

1

“Do you want to know what I’m wearing?”

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  1. You could be sitting at home in your comfiest pjs or trying on your newest lingerie. Either way, let him know you’re thinking about spending some time with him later.
    • Add a “😏” or “😘” to the end of your text to make it extra flirty.
    • To make him even more crazy, send him a picture!
    • Feeling extra sexy? Text him “Guess what color my lingerie is?”
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8

“What’s your sexiest fantasy?”

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  1. This is a great way to learn more about him and get an idea of what he may like in the bedroom. Is he into BDSM? Does he have a sex fantasy with food? Not only can this give you ideas on how to up the antics next, but it can help you both feel more comfortable talking about sex.[4]
    • Be upfront with your boyfriend and tell him what you are and are not comfortable with. Honesty is, and always will be, the best policy, especially when it comes to relationships.
9

“Do you have any kinks or fetishes?”

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  1. There’s no shame in having a few sexual quirks, so why not ask your boyfriend if he has any? It’s important to talk openly with your partner about sex, especially if they like doing things a bit differently than you.[5]
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10

“Where’s the weirdest place you’d want to have sex?”

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  1. Each time will be different. Sex with your boyfriend is more than itching a scratch, it’s creating an experience of fun and pleasure that you both can enjoy.[7] So, let your imaginations run wild and see if you both have the same fantasies. And who knows? Maybe you’ll find a new favorite spot!
    • Sex is natural, so don’t be afraid to talk to your boyfriend about it! You do it together, so why hold back your curiosities?
11

“Would you rather have sex in the shower or in a pool?”

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  1. A frisky, quick game of “Would You Rather” can put you both in the mood all while learning more about each other’s sexuality. Keep things classy, or dive into wildly sexy scenarios. Have fun and don’t be afraid to ask him anything! Here are some other questions you can ask:[8]
    • “Would you rather go to the grocery store in your underwear or go to the beach nude?”
    • “Would you rather receive a sexy text message or a sexy nude photo?”
    • “Would you rather kiss someone in the dark or make out in a public setting?”
    • “Would you rather have sex in a smelly bathroom or on a stain-covered bed?”
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12

“What do you like most about when we have sex?”

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13

“How do you feel when we have sex?”

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  1. Being in tune with what you’re feeling before, during, and after sex can help you get the most out of your time together. Ask your boyfriend how he feels about sexy time, and do the same to yourself. Focus on inward feelings rather than what you’re outwardly experiencing. Try asking yourself these questions the next time you’ve had or are thinking about having sex:[10]
    • “What am I feeling right now?”
    • “What do I want to hear?”
    • “What am I expressing?”
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Tips

  • There is absolutely nothing wrong with talking “dirty” with your boyfriend, so why do we call it “dirty talk?” The negative energy around the phrase can make you feel like you’re doing something wrong, but you’re not! Talking sexy with your boyfriend is fun, playful, healthy, and completely and 100% normal. So, ditch “dirty talk” because having some sexual fun with your boyfriend is not “dirty” at all.[11]
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References

  1. https://www.refinery29.com/en-us/couples-questions-sexy-talk
  2. https://www.refinery29.com/en-us/couples-questions-sexy-talk#slide-4
  3. https://popculture.com/lifestyle/news/21-fun-and-sexy-questions-to-ask-your-partner/#1
  4. Jacqueline Hellyer. Licensed Psychosexual Therapist. Expert Interview. 15 October 2021.
  5. Jacqueline Hellyer. Licensed Psychosexual Therapist. Expert Interview. 15 October 2021.
  6. Jacqueline Hellyer. Licensed Psychosexual Therapist. Expert Interview. 15 October 2021.
  7. Jacqueline Hellyer. Licensed Psychosexual Therapist. Expert Interview. 15 October 2021.
  8. https://ponly.com/dirty-would-you-rather-questions/
  9. Jacqueline Hellyer. Licensed Psychosexual Therapist. Expert Interview. 15 October 2021.
  1. Jacqueline Hellyer. Licensed Psychosexual Therapist. Expert Interview. 15 October 2021.
  2. Jacqueline Hellyer. Licensed Psychosexual Therapist. Expert Interview. 15 October 2021.

About This Article

Jacqueline Hellyer
Written by:
Licensed Psychosexual Therapist
This article was written by Jacqueline Hellyer and by wikiHow staff writer, Aly Rusciano. Jacqueline Hellyer is a Licensed Psychosexual Therapist and the Founder of The Love Life Blog and The LoveLife Clinic. With over 20 years of experience, Jacqueline specializes in sex advice, sex tips, and relationship advice. In addition to being an accredited Psychosexual Therapist with the Society of Australian Sexologists (SAS), Jacqueline is also a Professional Certified Coach with the International Coach Federation (ICF). Jacqueline holds a BSc in Biochemistry and Human Sciences from The Australian National University, a Graduate Diploma in Applied Science from the University of Canberra, a BA in Languages and Literature from the University of New England (AU), an MSc in Sexual Health from The University of Sydney, and an MSc in Consciousness, Spirituality & Transpersonal Psychology from The Alef Trust. Her work and expertise have been featured in Australian Men’s Health, Cosmopolitan, Australian Women’s Health, Marie Claire, and 60 Minutes. This article has been viewed 63,981 times.
22 votes - 62%
Co-authors: 8
Updated: September 7, 2023
Views: 63,981
Categories: Dating | Ideas for Dates
Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 63,981 times.

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