PDF download Download Article
Find out if your FWB arrangement is actually a situationship
PDF download Download Article

You’re chatting with a friend when the term “situationship” comes up. What your friend describes hits too close to home…Are you in a situationship? Situationships can be messy, but they may also be a great option if you’re tired of regular relationship commitments. So, what are they exactly? We’ll teach you everything there is to know about situationships in this article, from the signs that you’re in one to how to make it work for you.

Things You Should Know

  • Situationships are casual, flexible romantic relationships with zero commitments or expectations.
  • If you and your companion avoid labeling your relationship, skip talking about the future, and don't have many emotional conversations, it may be a situationship.
  • Although expectations and commitments are on the wayside, communicate your boundaries clearly in a situationship.
Section 1 of 6:

What is a situationship?

PDF download Download Article
  1. Think of it as something between a casual hookup and a committed relationship. The terms of the relationship are undefined and casual, with the hopes that there won’t be any commitments. Basically, it’s an ambiguous relationship (neither good or bad) that relies on circumstance, occurring at a time and place that works for both parties.[1]
    • Situationships and dating aren’t the same, as dating involves expecting a possible future together and committing to one another’s lives.
    • In a friends-with-benefits relationship, there are usually clear boundaries on emotional attachment, whereas situationships rarely do.
    • One major pro of a situationship is that you can explore your dating preferences and sexuality without commitments or expectations.
    • Leading cons of a situationship are emotional vulnerability and a lack of support, since the relationship will likely stop abruptly.
  2. Advertisement
Section 2 of 6:

Signs You’re in a Situationship

PDF download Download Article
  1. There are inconsistencies in a situationship. One person may have stronger feelings for the other, one week may consist of more hookups, and/or a whole month could go by without talking. If you’re not sure if you’re dating, hooking up, or “seeing each other,” it may be a sign you’re in a situationship.[2]
    • Basically, no label equals a situationship.
  2. One thing’s for certain: situationships are confusing. Unlike a friends-with-benefits situation, there’s time and space in a situationship to open up with each other; however, being vulnerable without stability can cause conflicting emotions.
    • For instance, say you tell them something extremely personal while you’re together. But despite what you said, they ghost you a week later. This isn’t purposeful; it’s just a part of a situationship—the ability to detach and step back whenever.
  3. Communicating authentically in a situationship can be difficult because you don’t rely on each other for emotional support. If you’re worried about expressing your emotions with them, it may be because you don’t know where the relationship stands, which is a definitive sign of a situationship.[3]
    • Typically, situationships are unstable and inconsistent, making it harder for you to express yourself.
    • Think of it this way: the more you can open up to someone, the more secure your relationship is.
  4. Since situationships aren’t exclusive, there’s no rule saying you can’t have more than one romantic interest. Chances are, if one or both of you are dating or seeing someone else, it could be a situationship.
    • If your situationship partner is seeing someone else, it’s possible they’re polyamorous or in an open relationship. However, if your personal relationship with them is still undefined, it could be a situationship.
  5. Because a situationship doesn’t require commitment, they may hold you at arm's length when it comes to their personal life. Introducing you to their loved ones could become messy, especially if you only get together in specific situations.
    • This can go both ways. Maybe you’re hesitant to introduce them to your family and friends (and not because you’re nervous they won’t like them).
    • Keep in mind that situationships can happen amongst friends, so knowing people in the same friend group is a possibility.
  6. With no commitments or expectations, there’s no need to talk about the future. You don’t make plans in advance to see each other; typically, it happens on a whim. There’s also no set time on how long you spend together or what the future has in store for the relationship.[4]
    • In other words, you both play things out in the spur of the moment. You may have some serious discussions, but they’ll rarely involve where you see the relationship going (dating, marriage, etc.).
    • Along with this, you don’t celebrate milestones together (birthdays, holidays, graduations, etc.) because there’s no intent to be a constant presence in each others’ lives.
  7. If you’re told outright that things won’t ever get “real,” then you’re most likely in a situationship. They’re setting their boundaries: no commitments. The casual nature of the relationship indicates that things will likely stay ambiguous and not progress any further.
    • If this is what you want too, fantastic! But if it isn’t, state your boundaries and expectations upfront to avoid future confusion.
  8. Advertisement
Section 3 of 6:

What to Do if You’re in a Situationship

PDF download Download Article
  1. Communication is essential in any relationship, even a situationship. If you’re in a situationship, communicate honestly about where you stand in the relationship. Knowing how you both feel can help eliminate anxieties and pressures.[5]
  2. Never expect a situationship to make up for a relationship you can’t have. If you go into a situationship with the mindset that things will progress into a real relationship, you may be in it for the wrong reasons. Remember, situationships are flexible and circumstantial; they don’t always lead to committed partnerships.[6]
    • Ask yourself what you really want in the relationship. Why do you want a situationship? What are you looking to gain or learn?
  3. In a situationship, being direct about what you want from the relationship is important. Talk about your preferences and comfort levels while setting clear boundaries. This way, you’ll both know what each other wants, needs, and expects romantically and emotionally.[7]
  4. One of the worst things you can do in a situationship is stay when things are no longer serving you. If you feel like the situationship has run its course or you’ve met someone else, kindly end things.
    • Use the situationship as a learning experience. How have you grown from the experience? What would you do differently in your next partnership?
  5. Advertisement
Section 4 of 6:

Common Expectations for Situationships

PDF download Download Article
  1. Situationships thrive off of zero commitments. Because of this, there’s no promise for the future. You hookup, get together, and hang out when the time is right. Then, when the romantic chemistry fades or you go down different paths, the situationship ends.[8]
  2. With no labels, there’s no rule to say you both can’t date someone else. Until there’s a serious discussion about what your relationship is, you’re single and ready to mingle.[9]
  3. A lack of commitment doesn’t mean a lack of sympathy. Emotions come with intimacy, no matter how much you try to suppress them. Before getting into a situationship, it’s important to acknowledge that caring for someone is okay, even if you’re not technically dating.
    • Acknowledge if you're ready to be intimate with someone and possibly make a connection without commitment. If you're not, a situationship may not be for you.
  4. Advertisement
Section 6 of 6:

Can situationships be unhealthy?

PDF download Download Article
  1. Although situationships may work for some, they can quickly become unhealthy, which is why it’s important to look out for red flags. If you’re in a situationship, keep an eye out for these signs, as they may mean it’s time to cut things off:[10]
    • Inconsistent communication: They only call or text when it fits their schedule.
    • Secrecy: Your companion refuses to spend time with you in public, making you feel insecure.
    • Sexual interest only: The relationship is purely sexual, and they don’t care about your feelings.
    • Controlling behavior: Your companion dictates what you do romantically with others, even if your relationship is unlabeled.
  2. Advertisement

Join the Discussion...

WikiIbisFlyer783
31
I (19f) have been talking to this guy (22m) for the last few weeks, we've hooked up a couple of times and I'd like things to go further than that... Read More
WikiElephantKeeper424
1
It does technically sound like what you have going on is a situationship, which is, by definition, "a casual relationship that isn't committed or... Read More
WikiEmuSeeker571
1
If you find yourself being intimate with someone (emotionally and/or sexually) and consistently spending time with them without ever having label... Read More

Expert Q&A

Ask a Question
200 characters left
Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered.
Submit
Advertisement

Video

Tips

Submit a Tip
All tip submissions are carefully reviewed before being published
Name
Please provide your name and last initial
Thanks for submitting a tip for review!

You Might Also Like

Juicy Questions to Ask Your Girlfriend155+ Flirty, Spicy & Deep Questions to Ask Your Girlfriend
I Miss You Quotes for Him140 "I Miss You" Quotes for That Special Someone
Be Romantic in BedBe Romantic in Bed
Give a Sensual Massage Give Your Partner an Erotic Massage
How Much Do You Love Me Answer Respond to “How Much Do You Love Me?” Fun, Sweet, and Romantic Answers
Give a Romantic MassageGive a Romantic Massage
Goodnight Paragraphs for Him118 Cute, Flirty, and Romantic Good Night Texts to Copy and Paste
Make a Guy's Heart Melt over TextMake a Guy's Heart Melt over Text
Make Women MeltMake Women Melt
Why Am I Sexually Attracted to Older Woman6 Reasons Why You Might Be Attracted to Older Women
Hug Romantically Give Romantic Hugs from the Front or Back
Why Do Women Like Tall MenWhy Do Girls like Tall Boys? 12 Explanations
Use Sexual Energy Use Sexual Energy
Romantically Hug a GuyRomantically Hug a Guy
Advertisement

Expert Interview

Thanks for reading our article! If you’d like to learn more about relationships, check out our in-depth interview with John Keegan.

About This Article

John Keegan
Co-authored by:
Dating Coach
This article was co-authored by John Keegan and by wikiHow staff writer, Aly Rusciano. John Keegan is a Dating Coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. With over 10 years of professional experience, he runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health. This article has been viewed 26,851 times.
3 votes - 100%
Co-authors: 5
Updated: May 11, 2023
Views: 26,851
Categories: Romance
Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 26,851 times.

Did this article help you?

Advertisement