155+ Flirty, Spicy & Deep Questions to Ask Your Girlfriend

Heat up date night with these fun, flirty, and spicy questions

Co-authored by Bailey Cho Reviewed by John Keegan

Last Updated: November 15, 2024 Fact Checked

Are you looking for ways to learn more about your girlfriend and strengthen your connection? Asking fun and juicy questions is the perfect way to bond as a couple (even if you're not in the same room). In this article, we’re providing the ultimate list of questions to ask your girlfriend so you can understand her on a deeper level. Whether you’re looking for something fun, creative, flirty, or dirty, here’s everything you need to keep the spark alive and build intimacy in your relationship.

1

“What’s your biggest turn-on?”

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Keep the spark alive with these fun and flirty questions. Looking for ways to spice up your relationship? Find out her turn-ons to set the mood. Asking flirty questions will make her feel desired, which can help maintain the attraction in your relationship.^{[1]
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- “What song puts you in the mood?”
- “How would you describe our first kiss?”
- “Do you think I’m a good kisser?”
- “What’s your favorite place to be kissed?”
- “Do you prefer kissing or cuddling?”
- “What’s your favorite body part of mine?”
- “Have you ever fantasized about me?”
- “Have you ever gone skinny-dipping?”
- “What was your sexual awakening?”
- “Did you stalk me on social media before we dated?”
- “Have you ever been turned on at work?”
- “Would you ever go to a nude beach?”
- “What’s the hottest memory of the two of us?”
- “Who’s your celebrity hall pass?”

2

“What’s your favorite fantasy?”

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Crank up the heat with these spicy and suggestive questions. If you really want to get your girlfriend hot and bothered, shift your questions from flirty to dirty. It’s a guaranteed way to create sexual tension, and by learning her sexual preferences and desires, you can improve your sex life and figure out the best ways to satisfy her in the bedroom.^{[2]
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- “What’s your biggest sexual fantasy?”
- “Morning sex or evening sex?”
- “Do you prefer giving or receiving?”
- “Do you prefer being on top or bottom?”
- “What’s your favorite part of foreplay?”
- “Do you have any kinks or fetishes?”
- “Would you have a threesome?”
- “How do you feel about sexting?”
- “Where’s the weirdest place you’ve had sex?”
- “Have you ever been caught in action?”
- “Do you prefer loud or silent people in bed?”
- “Have you ever made a sex tape?”
- “What’s your most embarrassing sexual experience?”
- “What’s your favorite part of foreplay?”

3

“What’s your love language?”

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Find out how your girlfriend expresses love to maintain a strong bond. If you want to connect with your partner on a deeper level, don’t be afraid to reveal your soft side and ask her romantic questions. Learning how she prefers to show and receive love is the best way to strengthen your bond as a couple. In fact, you and your girlfriend might want to take a love language quiz, then discuss the results to find out what you value in a relationship.^{[3]
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- “How do you want me to show love to you?”
- “What can’t you live without in your dream relationship?”
- What’s something I can do to strengthen our relationship?
- “What's your favorite thing about our relationship?”
- “What’s your idea of the perfect date?”
- “How can we spend more quality time together?”
- “What’s the best gift you’ve ever received?”
- “Do you prefer physical or non-physical compliments?”
- “What are your green flags in a relationship?”
- “What do you appreciate the most about me?”

4

“Have you ever been in love?

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Ask about her relationship goals and history to see if you’re compatible. Discuss your girlfriend’s dating history, relationship expectations, and overall perspective on love to figure out what type of partner she is (and know if she’s right for you). Be sure to respect her boundaries if she doesn’t feel comfortable opening up about previous partners, and do not ask her things you wouldn’t be willing to answer yourself—in order to build trust and intimacy, you have to be vulnerable too.^{[4]
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- “How many serious relationships have you been in?”
- “Why did your last relationship end?”
- “How would you define cheating?”
- “Have you ever cheated on someone?”
- “What are your red flags in a relationship?”
- “What are 3 things you value most in a partner?”
- “What’s your definition of love?”
- “What are your boundaries in a relationship?”
- “Am I your usual type?”
- “Have you ever ghosted someone?”
- “What’s your biggest fear about our relationship?”

5

“Are you a night owl or an early bird?”

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Kick off an engaging conversation with these playful questions. If you’re not in the mood for a serious discussion, ask your girlfriend some fun, lighthearted questions to pass the time. It’s the perfect way to brighten her day and spend quality time together. Plus, you’ll learn more about her personality, interests, and beliefs!^{[5]
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- “Do you believe in conspiracy theories?”
- “What’s your biggest pet peeve?”
- “What’s the #1 thing on your bucket list?”
- “Do you have any hidden talents?”
- “What’s your dream job?”
- “What’s your spirit animal?”
- “Who would play you in a movie?”
- “What’s the theme song of your life?”
- “Do you have any unpopular opinions?”
- “What’s your worst habit?”
- “Do you believe in aliens or ghosts?”

6

“What’s your favorite way to unwind?”

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Discover your girlfriend’s favorite things to get to know her better. Whether you’ve been dating for one month or one year, there’s always something new and exciting to learn about your partner. Ask questions about your girlfriend’s favorite activities, songs, movies, memories, and anything else you’ve been dying to know. By expressing interest in her personal preferences, you show her you truly care and learn more about her as an individual.^{[6]
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- “What’s your favorite album of all time?”
- “What’s your favorite season?”
- “What’s your favorite holiday dish?”
- “What’s your favorite Starbucks drink?”
- “What’s your favorite character?”
- “What’s your favorite movie franchise?”
- “What’s your favorite thing to do on a rainy day?”
- “What's your favorite song to sing in the shower?”
- “What’s your favorite quote?”
- “What’s your favorite dessert?”
- “What’s your favorite thing to do in the city?”

7

“What’s your biggest irrational fear?”

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Throw in silly questions to lighten the mood and make her laugh out loud. If your girlfriend is feeling burned out from work, come up with funny questions to help her relieve stress. Whether you bring up something weird, wacky, or straight up silly, sharing a laugh can deepen your bond and improve your relationship as a couple.^{[7]
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- “What gives you the ick?”
- “If you could fight any historical figure, who would it be?”
- “Do you pick your nose?”
- “What’s the longest you’ve gone without showering?”
- “Have you ever peed your pants as an adult?”
- “What’s your most useless skill?”
- “What’s the most unnecessary white lie you’ve ever told?”
- “What’s the worst date you’ve ever been on?”
- “Have you ever re-gifted something?”
- “Have you ever used my toothbrush?”
- “What’s the worst time you’ve laughed at something?”
- “What’s an embarrassing song you secretly love?”

8

“What fictional world would you want to live in?”

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Ask hypothetical questions to take the conversation to the next level. Tired of asking the same questions about her job, friends, and family? Catch your girlfriend off guard (and really pick her brain) with these quirky “what if” and “would you rather” questions. They’re creative, thought-provoking, and sure to spark a lively discussion!^{[8]
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- “If you could eliminate one historical event, what would it be?”
- “If you were president for one day, what would you do?”
- “If you could stay one age forever, what age would you choose?”
- “If you could only eat one meal for the rest of your life, what would it be?”
- “If you could master one skill instantly, what would it be?”
- “If you were born 100 years earlier, what would your occupation be?”
- “If you were an Olympic athlete, what sport would you compete in?”
- “If you could create your dream band with 5 solo artists, dead or alive, who would be in it?”
- “Would you rather explore space or the deep sea?”
- “Would you rather have a pause or rewind button in your life?”
- “Would you rather always have a full phone battery or a full tank of gas?”
- “Would you rather take back anything you say or hear any conversation that’s about you?”
- “Would you rather never be able to go out during the day or never be able to go out at night?”
- “Would you rather have everyone be able to read your mind or everyone you know have access to your search history?”

9

“Do you prefer going out or staying in?”

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Show off your romantic side with these sweet and thoughtful questions. If you want to improve the emotional connection with your girlfriend, figure out what gives her butterflies. These cute questions can help you keep the romance alive and maintain a healthy relationship. Plus, they’re guaranteed to make her blush!^{[9]
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- Do you believe in soulmates?
- Do you believe in love at first sight?
- If we had to move to another country, where would we live?
- What’s something that reminds you of me?
- What’s the first thing you noticed about me?
- Is there a hobby or activity you want to try together?
- When did you realize you really liked me?
- How did you know that I was into you?
- If we had a Netflix series, what would it be called?
- How would you approach me if we weren’t dating?
- If you could relive one day in our relationship, what would it be?

10

“What’s your favorite childhood memory?”

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Discuss her childhood and family life to build intimacy in your relationship. If you’re looking to increase trust and intimacy with your girlfriend, ask about her family members, childhood memories, and life in general before meeting you. Learning about her past can strengthen the emotional connection with your partner, but make sure you move onto another topic if she looks uncomfortable talking about it—you don’t want to overwhelm or upset her.^{[10]
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- “Are you more like your mom or dad?”
- “What did you want to be when you were a kid?”
- “What’s the funniest thing you believed in as a child?”
- “What was your favorite subject in school?”
- “Who did you compare yourself to most often growing up?”
- “Did you grow up religious?”
- “Did you go through any phases as a teenager?”
- “Did you end up having the same political beliefs as your parents?”
- “What do you admire most about your parents?”
- “Did you spend a lot of time around your extended family?”
- “If you had to choose, who’s your favorite family member?”
- “What’s one core memory from your childhood?”
- “Do you consider your parents to be your friends?”

11

“What are you the most proud of?”

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Delve into deeper questions to understand your girlfriend better. Trying to strengthen the bond in your relationship? Build emotional attraction with your girlfriend by asking her meaningful questions that move beyond the surface—then, prepare to do the same. By sharing your dreams, fears, and beliefs with each other, you reveal your authentic selves and increase trust and intimacy.^{[11]
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- “What’s your biggest insecurity?”
- “What’s your greatest fear?”
- “Do you have any regrets?”
- “What are you most grateful for?”
- “What are 3 things you can work on?”
- “When’s the last time you cried?”
- “Who do you look up to the most?”
- “What’s something no one else knows about you?”
- “When’s the last time you stepped out of your comfort zone?”
- “What’s one thing you would do if there were no consequences?”
- “What's the biggest misconception people have about you?”
- “What’s your definition of success?”
- “Do you think happiness or success is more important?”
- “What gets you out of bed in the morning?”

12

“Where do you see our relationship in 5 years?”

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Talk to her about the future to see where you two are headed. If you can’t imagine a life without your girlfriend, be upfront and ask her serious questions about the future. Getting her thoughts on marriage, kids, and family life lets you know if you’re on the same page, and it can help you determine your compatibility in the long run.
- “What are your thoughts about marriage?”
- “Do you want to have kids in the future?”
- “What are your career goals?”
- “What kind of memories would you like to make with me?”
- “Where do you see yourself living when you retire?”
- “Would you ever live in another country?”
- “Do you plan on taking care of your parents when they’re older?”
- “What are your financial priorities and goals?”
- “What are you looking for in a long-term partner?”
- “How important is sex to you?”^{[12]
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- “What’s your biggest fear about our relationship?”
Esther Perel, Psychotherapist

Find someone you want to take on life with. "Instead of looking for a person who checks all the boxes, focus on a person with whom you can imagine yourself writing a story with that entails edits and revisions."