How to Be Romantic with Your Girlfriend

Co-authored by Sarah Schewitz, PsyD

Last Updated: July 18, 2024 Approved

Romance is a very important part of any relationship. When you have a girlfriend, keeping the romance alive will strengthen your relationship. This is important whether you’re in a new relationship or in one that has existed for years. You can perform little daily acts to show her your romantic side or you can plan an extravagant trip.

Method 1

Method 1 of 4:

Giving Her Daily Reminders

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Compliment her. Every day, you should compliment your girlfriend. This is a simple way to keep romance in a relationship without taking a lot of time. Make her feel like a princess by giving specific compliments that show you’ve been paying attention to her.
- Emphasize her personality qualities—mention how creative or spontaneous she is and how much you admire it.
- Express appreciation for her day to day actions. Show her that you notice she took time to do her hair in a new way or tried to put a new look together with her clothes.
- Tell her how she makes you feel. For instance, if she has a certain look that she gives you that makes you melt, tell her. Even if you can’t explain it exactly, express this to her.
EXPERT TIP

Sarah Schewitz, PsyD
Licensed Psychologist
Sarah Schewitz, Psy.D. is a licensed clinical psychologist by the California Board of Psychology with over 10 years of experience. She received her Psy.D. from the Florida Institute of Technology in 2011. She is the founder of Couples Learn, an online psychology practice helping couples and individuals improve and change their patterns in love and relationships.

Sarah Schewitz, PsyD
Licensed Psychologist

Ask yourself what your partner's love language is. Love and relationship psychologist Dr. Sarah Schewitz says: "Some people find it romantic when their partner takes out the trash, because their love language is acts of service. Somebody whose love language is words of affirmation is going to find it really romantic to hear, "I love you," or "You're beautiful." Other people find it really romantic when their partner brings them flowers, because their love language is gifts, while others love physical affection or quality time."
A romantic walk is free and easy to do every day. Even if you only have time to walk a mile, do so together. While on your walk, be sure to hold her hand or put your arm around her shoulder.

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Send her unexpected messages. A text or email each day is another free way to be romantic with your girlfriend. Pick a different time each day to send her this message to keep her on her toes. It can be anything as simple as “I love you” or you can make it specific. Try to do it at a time that she is very busy.
- Try putting a new twist on your daily messages by writing it on her mirror before she wakes up or by placing it on a note and putting it in her jacket pocket.
Ask her about work or her family and listen when she’s answering you. Pick a part of her life that you’re not directly related to and let her tell you all about it. She’ll be comfortable venting in the future which can prevent fights. This romantic gesture needs to be done with genuine curiosity and concern.

Method 2

Method 2 of 4:

Planning Romantic Dates

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Be spontaneous. You don’t need any specific reason to plan a romantic date. While Valentine’s Day and your anniversary are perfect times to have a romantic date, you should have some consistency more often. You need to make time. If the two of you work or travel on weekends, plan an extravagant and romantic date for a Tuesday night.
- Rent a convertible and drive around.
- Check local concerts and surprise her with a date night.
- Cook her favorite meal and have it waiting for her when she gets home during the week.
Making plans to see the game with your friends doesn’t count as a date. You need to make it so that it is only the two of you. This will put all of your attention on her.
Spoil your girlfriend with random gifts. You don’t have to empty your bank account to do so, but every now and then surprise her with a new sweater she saw at the mall, a pair of earrings, or a new movie for the two of you to watch. Once again, it doesn’t have to be overly expensive—it’s more about the thought behind the gift.

Method 3

Method 3 of 4:

Being Intimate

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While the two of you are watching a movie or sitting at a table and working, run your fingers through her hair. The light head touching/hair messing-with will put her into a near meditative state and she will feel romantically closer to you.^{[1]
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Cup her face when you kiss her. Gently holding her face when you kiss her will take your everyday kiss and turn it into a romantic moment for the two of you. Do this as your good-bye kiss in the morning or when she walks in the door from work.^{[2]
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- Kissing is a great way to increase physical and romantic intimacy between you and your girlfriend.
- Reader Poll: We asked 730 wikiHow readers who have a romantic partner, and 57% of them agreed that they feel most physically intimate when kissing. [Take Poll]
A public display of affection (PDA) can be something as regular as a hand hold or as extravagant as a kiss timed to fireworks. Cuddle up with her unexpectedly and let her melt into you.^{[3]
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Get some oil and offer her a back massage to help her relax from a stressful day. Even if you’re not able to give her the best massage she’s ever had, she will love that you’re trying to help her out.

Method 4

Method 4 of 4:

Holding a Long Distance Romance

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Take a day off. Part of being in a long distance relationship is finding time when both of you can talk. Especially if you’re in different time zones, this can be one of the hardest parts of keeping the relationship alive. To keep romance going, take a day off of work. Tell her to take the same day off. Spend the day on skype or the phone with them.
- Think of things ahead of time to talk about—play 21 questions or truth or dare.
Pick a show or movie and make plans to watch it at the same time. Call each other right after and talk about what you like. It’s a great way to make artificial together time.^{[4]
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Make some rituals. Make some sort of daily or weekly ritual. This will be an exciting way to keep the romance in your relationship because after a long day, your girlfriend can look forward to this ritual. This will give her a sense that you two are closer.
- Wish her a good morning and good night every day.
- Call and talk about the highs and lows of your day before bed.

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