This article was co-authored by Lauren Urban, LCSW and by wikiHow staff writer, Dev Murphy, MA. Lauren Urban is a licensed psychotherapist in Brooklyn, New York, with over 13 years of therapy experience working with children, families, couples, and individuals. She received her Masters in Social Work from Hunter College in 2006, and specializes in working with the LGBTQIA community and with clients in recovery or considering recovery for drug and alcohol use.
There are 8 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page.
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Dating a man with a child from a previous relationship can feel overwhelming, but it can also be a wonderful and rewarding experience, even if you don’t have any children of your own. If you’re getting involved with a single father and wondering how to navigate the relationship, check out our guide below: we’ve delved into everything you need to know about dating a man with a kid, including what to expect from him (and the mother), what your role might be in his child’s life, and potential red flags to keep an eye out for.
Dating a Man with a Child
Try to be flexible and avoid letting challenges and stress prevent you from planning a future with him if you think it's worth it. Expect him to prioritize his kid, especially in the beginning. Ask him what he expects from your relationship with him and his child, then establish your own boundaries.
Steps
Expert Q&A
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QuestionIs it bad to date a guy with a kid?Lauren Urban, LCSWLauren Urban is a licensed psychotherapist in Brooklyn, New York, with over 13 years of therapy experience working with children, families, couples, and individuals. She received her Masters in Social Work from Hunter College in 2006, and specializes in working with the LGBTQIA community and with clients in recovery or considering recovery for drug and alcohol use.
Licensed PsychotherapistNo, but it depends on what you're comfortable with. Try to approach the situation without any assumptions, positive or negative. Go in with a completely open mind and be ready for anything. Ultimately, you'll have to choose if this is something you can do, but don't make that choice before you see what the full picture is.
Tips
Warnings
References
- ↑ https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/dating/all-you-need-to-know-about-dating-a-woman-with-kids/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/raising-grieving-children/201007/remembering-fathers-are-also-widowed
- ↑ https://www.huffingtonpost.com/kelly-seal/what-you-dating-after-divorce_b_5113215.html
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/raising-grieving-children/201007/remembering-fathers-are-also-widowed
- ↑ https://www.huffingtonpost.com/mary-t-kelly-ma/dating-a-guy-with-kids-6-things-you-must-find-out_b_6624868.html
- ↑ https://www.huffingtonpost.com/mary-t-kelly-ma/dating-a-guy-with-kids-6-things-you-must-find-out_b_6624868.html
- ↑ https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/dating/all-you-need-to-know-about-dating-a-woman-with-kids/
- ↑ https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/dating/all-you-need-to-know-about-dating-a-woman-with-kids/
- ↑ https://www.huffingtonpost.com/mary-t-kelly-ma/dating-a-guy-with-kids-6-things-you-must-find-out_b_6624868.html
- ↑ https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/dating/all-you-need-to-know-about-dating-a-woman-with-kids/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/raising-grieving-children/201007/remembering-fathers-are-also-widowed
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-shameless-psychiatrist/201911/dating-the-struggle-is-real-single-parents
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/better-divorce/202205/how-and-when-introduce-your-new-partner-your-kids
- ↑ https://www.huffingtonpost.com/mary-t-kelly-ma/dating-a-guy-with-kids-6-things-you-must-find-out_b_6624868.html
- ↑ https://www.huffingtonpost.com/mary-t-kelly-ma/dating-a-guy-with-kids-6-things-you-must-find-out_b_6624868.html
- ↑ https://www.meetmindful.com/date-someone-with-children/
- ↑ https://www.huffingtonpost.com/mary-t-kelly-ma/dating-a-guy-with-kids-6-things-you-must-find-out_b_6624868.html
- ↑ https://www.meetmindful.com/date-someone-with-children/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-shameless-psychiatrist/201911/dating-the-struggle-is-real-single-parents
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-shameless-psychiatrist/201911/dating-the-struggle-is-real-single-parents
- ↑ https://www.huffingtonpost.com/mary-t-kelly-ma/dating-a-guy-with-kids-6-things-you-must-find-out_b_6624868.html
- ↑ https://www.huffingtonpost.com/mary-t-kelly-ma/dating-a-guy-with-kids-6-things-you-must-find-out_b_6624868.html
- ↑ https://www.huffingtonpost.com/mary-t-kelly-ma/dating-a-guy-with-kids-6-things-you-must-find-out_b_6624868.html
- ↑ https://www.huffingtonpost.com/mary-t-kelly-ma/dating-a-guy-with-kids-6-things-you-must-find-out_b_6624868.html
- ↑ https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/j.1741-3729.2011.00665.x
About This Article
If you’re dating a man who has a child when you don’t, you'll want to take the relationship slow and make sure to communicate with your partner about both of your needs. Whether you see your relationship as casual or potentially serious, take it slow to avoid upsetting his child. As you work through the situation, make sure to express any doubts or frustrations that you’re having so you can work through them. From the start, you’ll want to know what he expects from your relationship together as well as your future relationship with his child, so ask him questions and keep the dialogue open. It’s also important that you define your own boundaries and not take on more responsibility than you’re comfortable with. Explain that you see yourself as a support for him as a parent but that you’re not the parent yourself. To learn how to deal with the child's mother, keep reading.
Reader Success Stories
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"Thanks to this article my boyfriend and I eased our relationship with his son. He's a lively three year old who enjoyed spending time with me to the point he would leave my boyfriend alone and came along with me instead."..." more