How to Keep a Promise

Reviewed by Seth Hall

Last Updated: June 6, 2022

Do you have an easy time making promises and a hard time keeping them? The definition of a promise “a declaration that one will do or refrain from doing something specified; a legally binding declaration that gives the person to whom it is make the right to expect or to claim the performance or forbearance of a specified act.”^{[1]
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Research source} If you have difficulty following through on even the smallest or seemingly minor promises to others, it might be time to focus on creating a process that allows you to always keep your promises.

Part 1

Part 1 of 2:

Understanding the Promise

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1
Acknowledge your commitment. Before you make the promise, for example, to clean your father’s car on the weekend, or to finish a report for next week, make sure you have the time and skills to follow through on the promise. To do this, you should listen to the request and consider:^{[2]
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- Do I understand what I am promising to do? It’s important to confirm that you understand the other person’s request, for example, can you clean my car on the weekend? or Can you complete this report by next Monday? This will ensure you know what you are committing to, which will allow you to better fulfill the promise.
- Can I fulfill the promise within the specified time? Think about if you have other plans on the weekend that conflict with cleaning the car, and if you can move or change these plans to make time for your new commitment. Consider if you have other duties that may prevent you from completing a report for your boss within the specified timeframe, and if you can get these done another time or work overtime to get it all done. Make sure you can commit the time needed to fulfill the promise.
- What do I need to fulfill the promise and can I access these needs/skills? Analyze your existing skills and determine if they are a match for the request or commitment. If you need to clean the car, make sure you have access to a hose, a bucket, soap, a towel, and a driveway. If you need to complete a report by next Monday, make sure you have the skillset to complete the report and the reading materials or resources to do it properly.
2
Write the promise down and set a reminder. Rather than simply telling the other person you are going to do something or verbally agreeing to do a task, get it in writing.^{[3]
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- Putting the promise in writing shows initiative to the other party, and ensures you cannot use the “oh, I forgot” excuse when the deadline for the promise approaches.
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Create a concrete plan to fulfill the promise. Even the smallest promises can be neglected or unfulfilled if you do not set aside the time in your day to complete the promise and are equipped with all the tools and skills needed to keep the promise. Draw up a step by step plan so you don’t fall short on your commitment.^{[5]
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- For example, to complete an assignment for a class, you may block out two to three hours one week before the assignment is due for research and brainstorming. Always overestimate your time so you do not end up shortchanging yourself.
- You may then set aside one to two hours several days before the assignment is due to write a first draft of the assignment. Avoid planning right up to the due date or deadline, as this can lead to a rushed assignment and a rushed completion of your commitment or promise.
- Finally, set aside one hour the night before the assignment is due to proofread the draft and polish it into a final draft. You can then be assured you can meet the deadline, and fulfill your promise to your teacher to complete the assignment by a certain time.

Part 2

Part 2 of 2:

Following Through on the Promise

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1
Communicate with the other party. If you start to realize there are obstacles or challenges that may cause you to miss the agreed upon deadline, let the other person know ahead of time. This will give the other person, or invested parties, time to adjust their expectations or timelines on their end and to work with you to help you try to still keep your promise. No one likes unwelcome surprises, especially the news that an action they were expecting to be completed, like the cleaning of their car or the completion of a report, will not be done within the expected timeframe.^{[6]
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- Being honest about your inability to keep a promise, as agreed, before the deadline has passed shows you respect the other person’s time and are trying to act with integrity. Doing this will ensure your relationship with the other person remains healthy and open, whether it’s the relationship between you and your partner or a family member, or the relationship between you and an employer or authority figure.
- Keeping the lines of communication open will also give you the means to negotiate for a new timeline or due date for the promise. The other person will likely appreciate your honesty and might be willing to adjust the timeline for the promise so you can meet it.
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Ask others for support and encouragement. If you have a hard time staying motivated and following through on an assigned task or commitment, tell other people around you about the promise. This will force you to be accountable to the expectations of others and keep you focused on completing the task.
- Telling a close friend or family member about the promise may also motivate them to offer to help you complete the promise. They may be willing to pitch in their time so you can get your dad’s car cleaned on time, or offer to help you brainstorm and outline to get a paper done by the deadline.
3
Focus on keeping your promise. Follow your plan and stick to the timeline. If you get easily distracted by the constant text messaging and online chats with friends, turn off your internet and focus for the allotted amount of time on the task. Find a quiet, secluded area so you can work without distractions.^{[7]
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- Time yourself as you complete the task or promise so you don’t waste any valuable time. This also ensures you don’t go over or under the allotted time for the task and are motivated to fulfill your promise within a timeframe.
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Apologize and find another solution if you break your promise. Despite your best efforts, you may end up breaking your promise. Rather than simply giving up or getting upset at yourself for not fulfilling your commitment, tell the other person you are sorry and come up with a new plan.^{[8]
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- Start by explaining why you were unable to fulfill your promise. This could be because you were asked to do another task that felt more important than your existing commitments, or because you had other deadlines that ate up all your time. Be honest about the reasons why you missed the deadline, and avoid making excuses.
- Ask the person how you can make it up to them. Put yourself at the mercy of the person you let down and show humility by asking how you can remedy the situation.
- Make a new commitment that you can fulfill. Re commitment yourself to the promise and ensure the other person you will fulfill the promise this time. Show them your renewed sense of commitment by creating a new plan, with stricter time management, and follow through on your promise. Avoid letting down the person again, as they may not give you a third chance.

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For how long should I keep a promise?

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Keeping promises is a lifetime commitment. The more you develop your accountability, loyalty and personal responsibility, the more you'll get in the habit.

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What are the effects of breaking a promise in the Bible?

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To break a promise to God or to men will result in grave consequences. Breaking a promise to God: "When a man makes a vow to the Lord or takes an oath to obligate himself by a pledge, he must not break his word but must do everything he said," Numbers 30:2. This verse also shows that when you break a vow or “promise,” you commit a sin and the wage of sin is death.

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