13 Signs Your Friends with Benefits Is Falling For You

Co-authored by Supatra Tovar, PsyD, RD and Hannah Madden

Last Updated: November 24, 2024 Fact Checked

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Is your friends with benefits (FWB) situation starting to feel more like a romantic relationship than a platonic one? Keeping up a no-strings-attached FWB relationship can be tough, and many times, one person ends up falling for the other. In this article, we’ll tell you all the signs to look out for so you can see if your FWB is catching feelings for you.

1

They get jealous if you flirt with others.

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Jealousy is a sure sign that your FWB wants to be something more. In a true FWB situation, there are no feelings attached to the relationship, so you’re both free to flirt or date whoever. If you notice that your FWB seems to get upset when you flirt with others or talk about other people, there’s a good chance that they’re developing feelings for you.^{[1]
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- It might not be super obvious, but try to read their body language the next time you talk about a date you went on. If they look down or cross their arms, it probably means they’re feeling upset.

2

They maintain eye contact with you for longer.

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Eye contact is a sign that your intimacy is increasing. The next time that you two are together, pay attention to how long your FWB stares into your eyes. If they tend to hold eye contact with you, even once you’re done talking, that’s a sign that they might be feeling emotionally connected with you.^{[2]
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- Keep in mind that for some people, making eye contact can be challenging. If your FWB isn’t making a ton of eye contact with you but they do a bunch of other things, there’s still a chance that they have feelings for you.
- Reader Poll: We asked 542 wikiHow readers about the strongest indicator that someone thinks of you as more than a friend, and only 8% of them said if they point their hips and toes toward you. [Take Poll] Instead, see if they make repeated eye contact or get close to you.

3

They text or call you all the time.

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When they want to talk all the time, they might be falling for you. Normally, FWBs really only hit each other up when they’re setting up a hookup time. However, if your FWB is texting or calling you randomly throughout the day just to chat, they might be feeling a bit romantic toward you.^{[3]
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- Talking throughout the day about things that aren’t sexual can blur the lines of your relationship.

4

Your hangouts turn into dates.

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You might find yourself on romantic outings that don’t involve sex. Since you two aren’t in a relationship, there’s no expectation that you have to take each other out. If, however, your FWB proposes going out to eat or seeing a movie, it could mean that they want to be more than just friends.^{[4]
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- If you’re starting to fall for your FWB, try asking them out on a date to see how they react. You never know until you try!

5

They aren’t dating anyone else.

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They might be avoiding other dates because they like you. Typically, people in FWB situations are free to date or hang out with other people. If your FWB has deleted their dating apps or isn’t pursuing anyone else, they could be developing feelings for you.^{[5]
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- Make sure you two talk about the boundaries of your relationship and decide whether or not you’re going to date other people while seeing each other.

6

They’re friends with all of your friends.

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They want your friends to like them so you fall for them. If you introduced your FWB to your pals, you probably didn’t expect them to form a bond. However, if you find that your FWB is somehow invited to all your hangs or even hangs out with your friends without you, they’re probably doing it to get closer to you.^{[6]
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- Plus, being friends with your friends is a great way to ask people who are close to you about your feelings.

7

They bring you gifts or do you favors.

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People generally go above and beyond for someone they like. Maybe your car broke down, and your FWB was quick to give you a ride. Or, maybe they brought you flowers and chocolate when you were feeling down. Usually, favors and gifts like these are reserved for people in relationships, not situationships.^{[7]
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- If you ever ask them why they’re being so nice to you, they’d probably say something like, “I just care about you,” or, “No reason.”

8

They open up about personal things.

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They’re disclosing more info because they want to get close to you. In relationships that are all about sex, there are rarely deep conversations that go beyond someone’s sexual preferences. However, if your FWB is falling for you, you might notice that they want to talk to you about their childhood or their goals in life.^{[8]
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- You’ll probably notice this most when you two just finish up having sex. This is when people are usually the most vulnerable and willing to open up.

9

They show off in front of you.

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Trying to impress you is a sign they want you to like them. Maybe they take you out to an expensive restaurant and insist on paying for your meal, or maybe they help you move by picking up all the heavy boxes. If you find that you’re always marveling at how awesome they are, it’s probably not a coincidence—they’re doing it because they like you.^{[9]
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- They might also brag about a promotion they got at work, or tell you a story about how they helped a friend out of a jam.

10

They want to spend the night more.

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Spending the night is usually reserved for romantic relationships. It’s totally normal for a FWB to spend the night after having sex, especially if they don’t have to get up early in the morning. However, if your FWB is developing feelings for you, they might ask to stay the night even when there’s no sex involved.^{[10]
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- If you don’t want to blur the lines of your relationship too much, don’t let your FWB sleepover. Spending the night together is very intimate, and it can make your relationship feel more romantic than it is.

11

They remember little things you’ve told them.

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They’re probably paying close attention because they like you. Have you ever been surprised that your FWB remembers something small that you told them in passing? Even if they’re not doing it on purpose, they want to learn more about you because they’re falling for you.^{[11]
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- They might recite your favorite color or pick up your favorite flowers for you.

12

They talk about how open they’d be to a relationship.

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People usually advertise wanting a relationship when they want it with you. If you two are hanging out and your FWB randomly starts talking about how much they’d like a significant other, they might be trying to drop you a hint. If you ask questions about what they’re looking for, don’t be surprised if they describe you perfectly.^{[12]
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- This is especially true if your FWB is a guy. Guys typically don’t advertise the fact that they’re looking for a committed partner unless that potential partner is you.

13

They blush around you.

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Giggling or blushing is a sign that they feel embarrassed around you. And people usually only feel embarrassed around people that they like. If your FWB catches a case of the giggles or can’t stop their cheeks from getting rosy, it’s pretty likely that they’re into you.^{[13]
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- They’ll probably blush or giggle after you give them a compliment or tell them a joke.
Amir Levine, Attachment Expert

When a friends with benefits relationship starts shifting into murky emotional territory, small signs are often the giveaways. Perhaps they seem jealous when you talk about other dates, make sly comments about meeting each other's friends and family, or act unusually nervous and sentimental during intimate moments. While not definitive proof, these subtle hints may indicate your casual partner is catching feelings they didn't intend.

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Question

How do you tell someone that you like them?

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Community Answer

It can seem hard, but sometimes, all it takes is a cheesy "I like you! Do you want to go on a date?" written in a note, and maybe a gift!

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My FWB tells me he loves me but acts differently when we're at school. What does that mean?

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He's probably reluctant to display his feelings in front of his friends. (That could change over time.)

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My FWB says I have become intense, but he is giving mixed messages. He cares but has suddenly gone cold. Is he fighting feelings?

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He might be. Sometimes talking about feelings is hard, especially for some guys. Talk to him and try to get a better understanding! If you tell him about your feelings, it might encourage him to open up a little.

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In a friends with benefits relationship, make sure to state your needs clearly and directly. Define the terms of your relationship and check in regularly to make sure you're both on the same page.

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If you’re not looking for a relationship, your FWB falling for you could be a sign that you need to end things.

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