How to Kiss a Girl for the First Time

Co-authored by Cher Gopman

Last Updated: November 2, 2024 Approved

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She's sweet and beautiful, and you're finally clicking. Is it time for a kiss? If you've never kissed her before, or have never kissed anyone at all, it can be a bit intimidating. But don't worry -- it's not as difficult as it seems! When kissing a girl for the first time, set the mood by flirting and waiting for a cozy moment, and when you both seem ready, gradually lean in until your closed lips meet hers. A little passion is fine, but your first kiss together should generally convey tenderness first and foremost.

Part 1

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Setting Up for Success

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Practice! The best way to be more comfortable and better at kissing is to practice first. It seems like obvious advice but it really does help. You can practice on your hand, with another object, or with another person.
- Keep in mind, you might not want to kiss another person because if you are already attached to the girl you want to kiss or kiss her really soon after and she finds out, she might be upset.
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Make sure you have good breath! The girl doesn't want to taste garlic or other icky flavors after the kiss, as this can be a major turn off. Before the date or when you see her, brush your teeth and tongue and use mouth wash! To maintain good breath try drinking water on the date instead of soft drinks. You can also suck on a mint or chew minty gum for a few minutes midway through the date.^{[1]
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- If you are at a restaurant, bring along your favorite breath freshener. Excuse yourself after dinner and go to the bathroom. Freshen your breath and then, to make sure your breath smells good, hold your hand up to your face, breathe, and smell.
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Flirt a little! This can help set the mood. Tell her that what she is wearing looks pretty; she will appreciate it! If she playfully punches you a lot or teases you in a friendly manner, then she wants you to touch her.^{[2]
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Expert Source

Laura Bilotta
Dating Coach & Matchmaker

Expert Interview. 4 March 2020.} Stay in safe territory like quickly grabbing her hand when you want to go show her something; she will appreciate not having to do the whole awkward looking at each other and blushing thing.^{[3]
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- If you are brave you could put your arm around her waist when you two are laughing and say something playful like "You're so cute!"
- Offer to give her a piggyback ride, or tickle her a little if she likes it. Don't do this constantly, and when you do it, do it respectfully. Don't grab her breasts or butt.
- Flirting will make her more open to kissing you. Think of kissing as reaching the top of a mountain. You have to hike a little to get to the top.
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Time it right. Getting good timing will make it a lot easier. A good time for a kiss is at the end of a date, when you're generally saying goodbye, when you're out for a walk, or after you've just finished watching a movie. You'll notice that all of these times are pretty private and should pretty much just be the two of you. This is important! You should choose a private time for a first kiss.^{[4]
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- The kiss should stay private too. Don't kiss and tell. This is rude.
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Ask! It seems weird because we're only used to seeing the super charming people in movies kissing, but asking a girl if you can kiss her is a great way to show her that you respect her and care about her feelings. She'll appreciate it!^{[6]
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- You can say something like: "I really want to kiss you right now. Is that okay?" or "Do you want me to kiss you now?"
EXPERT TIP

John Keegan
Dating Coach
John Keegan is a Dating Coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. With over 10 years of professional experience, he runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health.

John Keegan
Dating Coach

Ease into your first kiss. Start with a casual touch, like holding hands. As comfort grows, progress to a gentle arm around the shoulder. Read her body language–sustained eye contact and corresponding touch are positive signs. If all feels right, lean in slowly and wait for her response.

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Nailing the Technique

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^{[7]
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Laura Bilotta
Dating Coach & Matchmaker

Expert Interview. 4 March 2020.} This is a universal signal that you're moving in for a kiss. This gives her the option to let you know that she's uncomfortable and will help keep you from getting slapped. Don't close your eyes until you are just about to kiss her.
Don't use tongue the first time you kiss a girl. Make sure you close your eyes right before you start the kiss.
Move in sideways a little. If your head is just as upright as her, you'll bump your nose into her nose instead of your lips into her lips.^{[8]
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If she's a deep, passionate kisser, she'll hold your lips in hers for a long while; you won't need to move your lips much.
If you want, cup her face with your hand and slowly stroke her cheek with your thumb. Make sure you still have one arm firm around her waist or lower back.^{[9]
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Kissing is like a silent conversation: You want to be kind, gentle, forgiving, and you want the other person to keep coming back for more!
Breathe. You'd be surprised how many people forget to breathe when they aren't used to kissing! If you want to keep kissing her but you're having trouble finding a break to breathe, try moving away from kissing her mouth to kiss her cheek or forehead.^{[10]
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Slowly pull away after a few seconds (or minutes!) and open your eyes. Congratulations! Each kiss after the first one is so much easier. You've reached the top of the mountain.

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Becoming a Pro

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Learn to French kiss. This is the next big skill for kissers to learn. It's not as hard as it seems and, with practice, it can be a killer addition to you kissing arsenal.
Learn to make out. Making out seems tough at first, especially if you both have trouble finding your rhythm, but it will get way easier with time. Just make sure to not overdo it and always keep things interesting.
Learn to kiss passionately. Once you've got those basic techniques in your repertoire, you'll want to get really good at kissing, and that mostly comes down to being passionate. This is easy to do if you let yourself relax and let your feelings come out.^{[11]
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Learn to kiss around other people. Chances are, the longer you're with your girl, the more likely it will be that you might find yourselves kissing around other people (such as on a double or very public date). This is okay, but you want to be sure to do so politely!^{[12]
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Learn to kiss with braces. If this is your first kiss, then there's a good chance you also have braces. Don't worry! Despite all the jokes in movies and TV shows, it's not all that tough to kiss with braces.

Join the Discussion...

I learned the average age for a first kiss is 15...

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WikiRiverDancer770

I'm 25 and haven't had my first kiss yet. I can't help but feel like I'm behind :( I feel hopless about my love life. Am I just doomed to be alon... Read More

2

Eddy Baller
Dating Coach

For your first kiss, take it easy and build up to the moment. Start with a little bit of light physical contact. You might start by massaging her... Read More

68

WikiRiverDancer770

I'm 25 and haven't had my first kiss yet. I can't help but feel like I'm behind :( I feel hopless about my love life. Am I just doomed to be alon... Read More

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Avoid Awkward Kisses with this Expert Series

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When should I go in for a kiss if it's my first time?

Laura Bilotta
Dating Coach & Matchmaker
Laura Bilotta is a Dating Coach, Matchmaker, and the Founder of Single in the City, her dating and relationship coaching service based in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. With over 18 years of experience, she focuses on helping singles date more intentionally, encouraging them to let go of negative patterns so that they can attract the love that they deserve. Her experience, skills, and insights have led to thousands of successfully united over 65,000 singles through events and one-on-one matchmaking coaching sessions. She has been the host of The Dating and Relationship Show on Global News Radio 640 Toronto (AM640) for 6 years and is known as The Hookup Queen of Clubhouse; her popular singles club, Single in the City, has over 95.5K members who regularly join in weekly dating and relationship-focused rooms.

Laura Bilotta

Dating Coach & Matchmaker

Expert Answer

Watch her body language to see if she's leaning closer to you or subtly touching you.

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Don't push it. If she wants to stop but you want to keep kissing her, respect her feelings and try again some other time.

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Do not have chapped lips, scrub them with a bit of sugar to get the dead skin off.

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Keep sane while kissing and after kissing, you will most likely be under pressure when you have your first kiss. Don't freak out.

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The advice in this section is based on the lived experiences of wikiHow readers like you. If you have a helpful tip you’d like to share on wikiHow, please submit it in the field below.

If you lean in for a kiss or are making intense eye contact and she turns her head, she's probably not ready. This doesn't mean she'll never want to kiss you, it may just mean she's feeling nervous or unprepared.
A good sign a girl wants to kiss you is if she puts on chapstick or comes back from the bathroom with a fresh coat of lipstick. However, you should still make sure she consents to the kiss.
Bring breath spray or mint gum with you on a date so you can sneak away to the bathroom and freshen up your breath before the kiss.

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